T Nation

Don't Tread on Me


#1

I thought all the pro gun folks would like this.

AN

ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS
AD

To the
Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before
last.

Date:
2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m.
E.S.T.

I was
the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded
that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me
and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for
my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that
you somehow come across this rather important
message.

First, I'd like
to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you
to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after
you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was
wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just
bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my
birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it
that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it?!

I know it probably
wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from
with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was
even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your
shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you
from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us
again].

After I called your
mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your
cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.
Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of
four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit
card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and
was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to
a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his
day!]

I then threw your
wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was
parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side
window and keyed the entire driver's side of the
car.

Later, I called a
bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell
just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone
for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with
that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone
calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while
mentioning President Obama as my possible
target.

The FBI guy seemed
really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he
traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I
should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this
type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for
your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort
through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and
can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon,
and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to
pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so
lucky.Have a good
day!

Thoughtfully
yours,

Alex

P.S.
Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more
civil society


#2

Wow he really fucked that guy over.


#3

I love craigslist. Google emails from an asshole!


#4

Lmao, holy shit.


#5

that was effing fantastic


#6

This guy had way to much fun with doing all that. Lol.


#7

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#8

That had too much win OP. LOL


#9

That’s so racist!


#10

while i think he went overboard with what he did, i do like the fact that he helped out other people at the crook’s expense.