T Nation

Don't Tease the Zoo Monkeys!


Because one day those monkeys might escape and maul off your genitals:

"Investigators said they are trying to figure out how two chimpanzees that viciously attacked a visitor at an animal sanctuary escaped from their cage."

"The chimps chewed off St. James Davis' nose and severely mauled his genitals and limbs Thursday before the son-in-law of the sanctuary's owner shot the animals to death, authorities said."


that... freaking.... sucks

I would dedicate my life to killing chimpanzees if I was that St. James Davis guy.

You just don't maul a man's genitals...



No shit!


Actually, they ripped his balls out by hand:

"Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot."


umm, this happened almost a year and a half ago


year and a half ago or not, you maul my genitals, your species is getting officially destroyed...


And I think somebody started a thread back then also.

It hurt me then to read it, and it still hurts now.


post this thread again in 10 years, and it will still have the same impact on my genitals as it is now...


So much for the theory that the 'Monkey Steals a Peach' technique is an urban legend.


I remember reading that when it happened on Yahoo news or something. Chimps are strong as hell, I've been tuggin on my genitals for years...they never came off in my hand (well not like that you know).

Did you know Cheetah is still alive and he's 74 this year ?

Not chimps, but there is this species of Monkey found in Borneo. They are damn clever, they will throw this stuff like fruit (or fungus or something) at you and even stones. If you shoot one of them, they NEVER ever throw anything at you again for like 6 months of walking that same path. Soon as they see you coming holding an M16 they scarper. Clever bastards !


Chimps have been known to squeeze the testicles right out of the nut sack when a cruel leader weakens and loses control of the group.

Remember this when some granola eating PETA whacko rants on how evil mankind is and how innocent the animal kingdom is.


It wasn't like this guy was walking around naked or that the chimps had a lot of time to pick at him. They had to have torn his pants off first to get at his balls and they had to have done it in a hurry.

Keep in mind this was two male chimps, with two females also hanging around the area. I find it interesting that they destroyed his face (so he's not purdy to the females anymore?), took his balls away (so he couldn't breed anyway), and tore off his foot (crippled him.. just to be sure.)


Those teeth on your face. Those arms ripping your balls off. Quite an image for you.


click the second link (abc news) to see the more recent story about a group of chimps that escaped and attacked a taxicab driver, amongst others.

i knew they were strong, but strong enough to tear off a foot? insane!


Thats a big nut sack


Just wanted to share this funny "Monkey Pee" story.
My sister and I used to walk down to the mall by our house, where on display they had two small spider monkeys in a large cage on display. One day one monkey was clinging to the front of the cage where my sister was standing, the first inch of his tail sticking out.

My sister, to be mischieveous, grabbed the tail, the monkey screeched, and my sister refused to let go, despite me telling her she was scaring the monkey let his tail go. She started to laugh. Then the monkey became so frightened that he peed....right onto my sister's chest and face, who in surprised response let go of his tail. Haha.


The incredible contrast ...


How exactly does one tear off a foot? We have bone saws that would have a hard time at that.


A foot and leg arent attached together by much, as you know. I'm sure they bit away at the tendons, skin and ligiments and yanked the bitch off.


Or the chimps just shot it off!