People are naive to think marriages fall apart because of physical cheating. Physical cheating happens because the relationship has fallen apart. Adultery doesn’t begin with sex, it results in it.[/quote]
Yea I was one of those people.
TMI time: I sort of “stole” this one girl from her boyfriend when I was in college. We started out as just being friends for a while, but we were talking on a one on one basis just like the OP mentioned and things progressed from there. It actually got serious and we dated for two years until I graduated from college and got a good job at which point we got engaged and eventually married (I let her push me into it which was mistake number one). We were very attracted to eachother, the sex was great, and our personalities went together very well. I thought being “in love” was good enough even though we didn’t have very many common interests. About a year and a half into our marriage I started noticing how aloof she was about returning texts and calls and such and how often she was away from home. We just started drifting farther and farther apart.
There was a male friend who had way more common interests with her than I did, and she started confiding in him rather than me and confiding in him about me. I had never even met this guy. I noticed all the usual stuff. I could see on the phone bill that she was texting and calling someone else way, way more often than she was talking to me. She would be out all the time and sometimes “stay at one of her girlfriend’s houses”. This went on for another few months along with more lying than I thought any one person’s conscience was capable of handling. I was almost more offended by how stupid she evidently thought I was than I was about her cheating on me. Anyway about a week before our 2 year anniversary I found it all plain as day on her phone’s text messages she had forgotten to erase. The moment I really knew shit was over though was when she didn’t even apologize. She just got mad at me for looking through her phone. I’ve already revealed how stupid I am when it comes to women, so I won’t bother leaving this last part out. I didn’t even end it right away. I bought into marriage hook, line, and sinker, and there were times when I thought she was trying to work on it as well. As you all would have guessed though I later found out she was still talking to this guy and nothing had really ever stopped. He even changed his number, and she got a separate phone and all that shit. In hindsight it almost seems like she meets the medical definition of a pathological liar. Of course I had to pay for the divorce though.
It wasn’t like I cheated on her or hit her or had a drinking problem or whatever. It was small stuff that didn’t even seem like a problem until it had built up into a problem and slowly degraded the relationship, which she felt more comfortable talking about to her “good friend” of the opposite sex.
I like to think I’m not all bitter about it though. Hopefully nobody thinks I’m like Orion Jr. lol. I certainly learned a hell of a lot. Although between that and more than a couple chicks who were not single literally throwing themselves on me (one of them was even fucking engaged), I guess I did lose a lot of faith in women to keep themselves from cheating via their own merits as opposed to me having to keep them in line with “game”. Maybe once they get older it’s not as bad. I hope.
So ya OP, either don’t let her have one on one male friends or PIIHB or both. Coulda saved me a lot of trouble.