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Does Your GF/Wife Have Male Friends?

[quote]
The thing is that she is VERY jealous of my female friends. I told her I would be ok with her talking to guys if she’s ok with me talking to my female friends. She doesn’t want to agree to this. It seems like she doesn’t want to make this deal because she would be jealous. Pretty hypocritical.[/quote]

You need to make the negociation more interesting.
Tell her you would be ok with her banging other guys if she’s ok with you banging other girls.

Worked for me and miss Kamui 5 years ago.

[quote]kamui wrote:

[quote]
The thing is that she is VERY jealous of my female friends. I told her I would be ok with her talking to guys if she’s ok with me talking to my female friends. She doesn’t want to agree to this. It seems like she doesn’t want to make this deal because she would be jealous. Pretty hypocritical.[/quote]

You need to make the negociation more interesting.
Tell her you would be ok with her banging other guys if she’s ok with you banging other girls.

Worked for me and miss Kamui 5 years ago. [/quote]

PWI slow? I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you over here.

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]adamhum wrote:
How appropriate is it for your wife or girlfriend to have male friends which they talk to on the phone? Not gay friends, regular guys.[/quote]

It is not appropriate even if they are gay. [/quote]

why?

In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend/husband as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.

[quote]super saiyan wrote:
I think you’re mostly right about predispositions but things can develop slowly over time. Especially where a spouse begins to confide in a friend about things their spouse does or says. They feel like that friend listens and cares about them causing deeper emotional bonds which then increases the likelihood of romantic feelings.

Or they are going through a rough patch with their spouse and turn to the friend for emotional comfort.

Like I mentioned with the co-workers going to lunch. It’s not like they met up and banged on the first lunch date. Some of these people had been friends for months or even years and started out with no intention of cheating.

That’s why I think it’s best to keep yourself out of the situation in the first place.[/quote]
Spot on.

[quote]csulli wrote:
In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.[/quote]

I am handing out my weekly slow clap for this post.

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.[/quote]

I am handing out my weekly slow clap for this post. [/quote]
Why thank you :slight_smile:

You mentioned single guys in the “bachelor days” not seeing a girl with a boyfriend as being off limits. I’ve been on both sides of that coin I’m a bit ashamed to say. Maybe that’s poetic justice lol.

2 words for this situation… FUCK THAT.

[quote]super saiyan wrote:
Especially where a spouse begins to confide in a friend about things their spouse does or says. They feel like that friend listens and cares about them causing deeper emotional bonds which then increases the likelihood of romantic feelings.

Or they are going through a rough patch with their spouse and turn to the friend for emotional comfort. [/quote]

I get what you are saying, and I think the difference between my relationships, and it appears everyone else is, I’m a hyper-communicator. I will beat a dead horse with my wife to the point where she is more pissed at the fact I won’t shut up than what we were fighting about in the first place.

I’ll complain about my spouse to friends and expect her to do the same, but to confide and seek support is crossing a line. Mainly because those are issues you should be able to talk about with someone you’ve committed the rest fo your life to.

So it comes down to we don’t go to anyone for comfort other than each other, for the most part.

All this said, all my true friends are dudes, and her’s women. She has gone to lunch with other guys and has always been upfront about it, I don’t really care, because of above.

I guess what I’m getting at is these people did it to themselves and should have seen it coming from the get-go.

There is something to be said about trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and knowing what to and not to talk about with your friends of the opposite sex.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.[/quote]

I am handing out my weekly slow clap for this post. [/quote]
Why thank you :slight_smile:

You mentioned single guys in the “bachelor days” not seeing a girl with a boyfriend as being off limits. I’ve been on both sides of that coin I’m a bit ashamed to say. Maybe that’s poetic justice lol.[/quote]

Yeah. It happened to me first, then i took ‘my revenge on the world’ by doing it others, and one time they were living together and we were just ‘friends at work who went to lunch together and talked’. At the time i thought it would make me feel better and ‘even’, yeah right. Seriously, I still feel sick to my stomach about it and some of the other things I did in that sense. Poetic justice is right my friend.

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.[/quote]

I am handing out my weekly slow clap for this post. [/quote]
Why thank you :slight_smile:

You mentioned single guys in the “bachelor days” not seeing a girl with a boyfriend as being off limits. I’ve been on both sides of that coin I’m a bit ashamed to say. Maybe that’s poetic justice lol.[/quote]

Yeah. It happened to me first, then i took ‘my revenge on the world’ by doing it others, and one time they were living together and we were just ‘friends at work who went to lunch together and talked’. At the time i thought it would make me feel better and ‘even’, yeah right. Seriously, I still feel sick to my stomach about it and some of the other things I did in that sense. Poetic justice is right my friend. [/quote]

Nah, that is nothing. True poetic justice is having a daughter.

You think you feel bad now, wait until you look your baby girl in the eye knowing everything you know about how the male mind works, and how you behaved.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]adamhum wrote:
How appropriate is it for your wife or girlfriend to have male friends which they talk to on the phone? Not gay friends, regular guys.[/quote]

It is not appropriate even if they are gay. [/quote]

why?[/quote]

Because, the best way not to commit infidelity is to avoid the occasion of infidelity. Are you an alcoholic? Avoid places with an abundance of alcohol is probably a good start.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Apparently I’m attracted to girls with backbones and brains. Because the only time it mattered if the dude wanted to bang them is if she wanted to as well.

“Game” only works on whores that would have more like than not, fucked you anyway.

Yes I’ve been cheated on, and left for another dude. They both came crawling back, and both were very willing at the time to have sex. It isn’t like the other guys waved magic penis dust in her face and she suddenly turned into a loose lipped sally. She made a choice to bang other dude.

SO don’t worry so much about the dude if your going to worry. Worry about whether you picked the right woman to be committed to. [/quote]

True words.

Loose lips were always loose.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
In my experience that ends in her cheating on you.

Think back to when you were a single guy maybe in your 20’s or something like I am. How many girls do I just call up or go hang out with or text a lot who I don’t want to get physically involved with? None. 99 times out of 100 a single guy (or otherwise) just wants in her pants. It’s even more dangerous if she doesn’t realize this. A staggering number of women appear to be oblivious to this, which is so stupid.

I’m not saying I don’t have female friends who are really just friends. But I don’t like call them up one on one or hang out with them just the two of us. I’m friends with their boyfriend as well or if they’re single I just hang out with them in a group of our mutual friends and we have a great time.[/quote]

I am handing out my weekly slow clap for this post. [/quote]
Why thank you :slight_smile:

You mentioned single guys in the “bachelor days” not seeing a girl with a boyfriend as being off limits. I’ve been on both sides of that coin I’m a bit ashamed to say. Maybe that’s poetic justice lol.[/quote]

Yeah. It happened to me first, then i took ‘my revenge on the world’ by doing it others, and one time they were living together and we were just ‘friends at work who went to lunch together and talked’. At the time i thought it would make me feel better and ‘even’, yeah right. Seriously, I still feel sick to my stomach about it and some of the other things I did in that sense. Poetic justice is right my friend. [/quote]

Nah, that is nothing. True poetic justice is having a daughter.

You think you feel bad now, wait until you look your baby girl in the eye knowing everything you know about how the male mind works, and how you behaved.

[/quote]

At 26 I already have nightmares about this…

Thanks for your feedback guys…I think i’m not crazy…I never want to come off like a tyrant.

When I envision myself home and chillen and the phone rings…I can’t see myself ever cool with it being a guy chatting up my wife unless it’s family.

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]adamhum wrote:
How appropriate is it for your wife or girlfriend to have male friends which they talk to on the phone? Not gay friends, regular guys.[/quote]

It is not appropriate even if they are gay. [/quote]

why?[/quote]

Because, the best way not to commit infidelity is to avoid the occasion of infidelity. Are you an alcoholic? Avoid places with an abundance of alcohol is probably a good start.

[/quote]

The grocery store has an abundance of alcohol. I wouldn’t tell an alcoholic to avoid the grocery store.

Many people don’t consider a woman hanging out with a man who prefers the company of other men to be an occasion of infidelity.

[quote]adamhum wrote:
Thanks for your feedback guys…I think i’m not crazy…I never want to come off like a tyrant.

When I envision myself home and chillen and the phone rings…I can’t see myself ever cool with it being a guy chatting up my wife unless it’s family.[/quote]

You have a home phone? I didn’t know those still existed.

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]adamhum wrote:
Thanks for your feedback guys…I think i’m not crazy…I never want to come off like a tyrant.

When I envision myself home and chillen and the phone rings…I can’t see myself ever cool with it being a guy chatting up my wife unless it’s family.[/quote]

You have a home phone? I didn’t know those still existed.[/quote]

Haha, also see Lanky’s post about men on the phone. Unless it is his mom or some such, any man on the phone with a woman for more than 45 seconds is either trying to hook up, or plays for the other team.

Except for 1 gay guy my wife does not have any single male “friends”. Meets with guys a lot for work but those relationships are even more business like than females of the same type. As a GF this was a bit different but male friends slowly went away the longer we were dating. Even the first month together there was not really any male friends I felt were competition.

Same with SS and most of you on this. My wife and I have “couple friends” and thats about as close as we get to opposite sex friends. I had a co-worker back in my first job out of college that was 10yrs older than me but still fairly attractive. I chatted with her quite often just beacuse I thought she was cool. Turns out I was naive and she made a move on me. After that incident, I learned to be nice and friendly but keep converstations limited.