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Dodgin’ Dadbods: Fortitude Training

The phrase “live through your kids” is tossed around from time to time, and it’s almost always a bad thing, haha. When I say it, I refer to things like giving them the same type of giddy and magical feeling that Christmas gave me when I was young so I can relive it through their experiences. Some people, though, are trying to use their kids to fill in the things in their life that they didn’t accomplish. It’s alright to give your kid the things you never had, but it’s not alright to make your kid do the things you weren’t able to do.

An easy way to see the difference is the kid’s confidence. An extraordinarily talented kid that lacks in confidence is having his confidence eroded by a perpetually unsatisfied parent. In my case, I don’t have any want or need to find the outer limits of my kid’s athletic abilities at a young age, because I’m not an athlete, nor is my wife, and kids that age who ARE genetically blessed have a natural knack for it that my kid just doesn’t. He’s just a regular kid in that department - with vast room to improve, and lots of discipline to gain, but clearly no desire to have his life become about a sport, or any single thing at this time in his life. Getting him better, always striving to be more actively involved and encouraging - those are things that can build his confidence. To try to push him to be something he’s not and doesn’t want to be - that would hurt him.

But yeah - totally agree about those videos. It’s hard to criticize, because I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, but with a lot of talented celebrities across all disciplines, you hear of some horror stories with the parents, and YT videos show us, rounded to the nearest whole number, 0% of the kid’s actual life. Hopefully there’s still some fun for them there.

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Sometimes this can get problematic too.

My parents wanted my little bro and I to play instruments bc they never had the chance. They both enjoy music and didn’t want us to miss out or have regrets. Well… let’s just say there was a LOT of borderline abuse and I definitely do not regret quitting

This sounds like the problematic thing, while giving you a chance to play instruments wasn’t. Forcing you to do it on the other hand was.

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Then they should have given you instruments, not forced you to play them. What you’re describing doesn’t fall under this:

It falls under this:

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@simo74 thanks again for the drill idea. We ran through regular warmups, jogged back and forth across the field a few times dribbling and tapping passes to each other, and then went into the shooting drills. I started a bit closer to the goal and gave him passes inside, and then we moved further and further out. Once I got him to stop teeing off, he hit some really nice shots. We finished with some sprints and a long jog around the track. It’s below freezing too, so he managed nearly an hour outside and we kept warm and had fun.

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Mate you have no idea how happy this made me to read. There is nothing like the feeling of playing a sport with your own child and both enjoying it. I took my son to the BMX track at the weekend to try out his new race bike and it was so good to watch him tearing around. These are the best bits about being a dad for sure.

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I played soccer for long time in my youth, actually was kinda good, to toot my own horn, hehe, and something I did that I liked was literally just kicking a ball at a brick/block wall for a while. Sorta like a tennis player hitting balls against the wall. It’d bounce back at different angles and speeds and I’d try to just keep “catching” it, controlling it, and sending it back. You can aim for certain parts of a wall. Maybe even use some chalk to draw targets, depending on where the wall is. Usually it seems like school gyms are good spots, they have less windows than the rest of the school and big open walls, maybe nearer a parking lot, basketball court, or playground.

Not a very elaborate drill but I think it’s a good one for kids because you really just get to kick a ball as hard as you can over and over and that’s super fun.

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Today

SSB Squats - shoulder width stance, oly shoes, well below parallel, ~3 second negatives

240x12
150x25

Leg Extensions superset with BW sissy squats (go into full knee flexion on my toes while leaning backwards, supporting myself with 1 finger on a machine next to me, going until knees nearly touch the floor, coming back up)

150x15, bodyweight sissy squats x10
150x15, bodyweight sissy squats x10
150x15, bodyweight sissy squats x10

Hyperextensions on 45 degree back extension, fixed barbell behind head, ~3 sec negatives
30# x12
30# x12, BW x20

NEW EXERCISE:

I’m not exactly into centering my entire routine around stuff like this, which is why I haven’t paid for more info or services from kneesovertoesguy, but the stuff he’s given me has honestly made a big difference in my training, so when I saw a quick video of his, I gave the exercise a shot.

QL Side Bends on 45 degree back extension
Just did 2x10 each side, in the 3rd progression (first is assisted, second is BW, third is BW with elbow above head to increase weight at the end of the lever, fourth is the third with another hand holding a dumbbell)

Here’s the video:

The QL, or the quadratus lumborum, for those who don’t know, is a muscle in your lower back on either side of the lumbar spine.

Anyways, I did the first set (and this is after weighted hyperextensions, squats, etc.), and when I was doing it, I kind of felt like it was just going to work my obliques and nothing else. Anyways, about 10 seconds after finishing, I felt a deep lower back pump, obviously in the QL, deeper than anything I had felt before - not painful, but just a sensation of isolating a new muscle. Seems to be a real effective muscle to strengthen, especially since, as Ben says in the video, back tweaks don’t just happen leaning forward (saggital plane), but quite often they happen leaning to the side. As a super-experienced back tweak veteran, it seems like a good thing to make stronger.

@FlatsFarmer just figured I’d tag you, you always seem interested in stuff like this, and @Voxel as well.

But, as always, this post is for everyone, so hopefully someone tries it and gets something out of it.

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Great idea, dude! He definitely gets to a point in some of our practices where he doesn’t want me hovering around and correcting him, and that’d be a great way to get him more comfortable with manipulating the ball without me having to be there, passing to him and commenting on his form. Appreciate the idea, and I’ll implement it next time we practice.

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Appreciate the tag! I’ve done quite a few of those by now but don’t think I’ve managed to isolate it very well or it’s somewhat okay.

I like Ben and I hope he and Keegan Smith (The ATG Mentor) might write some rudimentary athletic programs that exist outside their subscription model. The whole long-range/short-range makes a lot of sense with respect to athletic movement.

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Yeah man, Thanks for the heads up!

This guy is pretty cool, I like how his approach “fits in” to other stuff I’m already doing and covers the holes the other stuff doesn’t address.

How do you feel now that it’s the next day? Any stiffness/tightness, or was that workout “just right”?

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Glad you asked! I really didn’t notice it today until I brought my kid to the soccer field for more practice. Our routine starts by getting out of the car and doing side shuffles to the field, switching the way we face every little bit, and that was where I noticed it. Felt a little bit stiff, but loosened up nicely, and didn’t feel it afterwards.

Sitting here, if I lean side to side I can feel it. I definitely think it was of the “just right” variety, and I’m not in any hurry to add the dumbbell to it at the moment - 2x10 was a good starting point, once I can comfortably do 2x20 I’ll grab a 5# db and start the process again.

Today

Wide Grip Pullups
2x12

Neutral Grip Pullups
1x12, 1x10

Chins
1x11, 1x8

Hammer Strength Plate Loaded Row
2 plates and a 25 per side x25, drop to 2 plates x15, drop to 1 pllate x20

Decline Cable Chest Press
47.5 each handle x15
47.5 x13, drop to 32.5 x20, drop to 22.5 x20

Incline DB Press
70s x12
80s x11, drop to 50s x16, drop to 30s x20, drop to 20s x20
This spent all my remaining energy.

Pushups
3x failure

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