T Nation

Dodgin’ Dadbods: A Journey Back in Time


5/3/1 Bench Day

Band pull aparts, band dislocations, bar x20, 135x5

I’m a dick, I loaded 215 on the bar and 195 felt so light, I just wanted to bench 2 plates again, so I took it off and just loaded 225, and got 3 reps of it - my wife was spotting and put her hand on the bar for almost half of the last rep but she took it off when I grunted disapproval.
So- 225x3. I’m gonna add 5 lbs to my training max, do all the normal progression, and have 225 as my 95% 1+ lift the next cycle. Ego sucks.

Did incline, not flat this time, as my wife was doing her 5x10 on the only remaining flat bench and we were pressed for time.
155 4x10, 135 1x10
Superset 5 slow retardedly wide grip neutral pull-ups on every set - the power rack has bars for bands on either side, so if you can imagine spanning your hands the entire width of a power rack in the neutral position.

Kroc Rows
80 lbs 4x20 ea hand, 60 lbs 1x20

Some cable Crossovers, and done. The Kroc Rows gassed me so badly. Both children are over a sickness that swept through both of them in 3 days, thank god for that. Now to be a total germophobe for the next 72 hours as I wait to see if I’ll get the sickness or not.


Good luck with steering clear of the germs, kids get that shit everywhere.


Sorry to see the ego bug got ya! I was just thinking about my training for tomorrow. I’m scheduled to do 305 on squats and I was considering doing 1 set with 315 for a triple just to beat @losthog’s double :laughing:

Now THAT is being a dick!


Now you have to record it and splice the videos so they play simultaneously side by side, except hogs ends while you complete a third rep. One can always be more of a dick.


No gym today. Was up late last night and got up with the kids this morning so the wife could sleep in and when she got up I just went right back to bed for a couple hours before work at 230. Also work is a gigantic ball buster recently - not in terms of crappy people or even necessarily workload, just the physical aspect. I engrave printing cylinders with images that are used to make packaging, flooring, and pharmaceuticals. I used to do all Phillip Morris products, Kraft, Heinz, Nabisco, McDonald’s, etc. but now I do flooring, and these cylinders are 15 feet long and up to 20 thousand pounds, plus they have to be fitted with bearings before going in the engravers, so my job involves lifting tons of heavy shit and using giant pieces of brass to beat the shit out of these things until they come into position. Lately we’ve had stuff that doesn’t fit properly so with all the shimming and improvising my hands are shaking and can’t close properly by the end of every day. Definitely feel it every morning and it’s a struggle to get to the gym. Deadlift Day is tomorrow, too. Gonna try to work on my hook grip.


Deadlift Day

Warmup hypers, BW squats, bar and 135 deadlifts

5/3/1 DL - 5/3/1 week
Had more in the tank for 285, but was my first day with hook grip and i ended up with one hand hook and one hand just holding on with just the fingers and no thumb.

185 5x10 with 5 pull-ups in between every set

Gym was so packed that every leg machine was taken up and my lower back was beginning to feel a little tight so I didn’t wanna do RDLs.

So I had the brilliant idea of doing prowler sprints. After deadlifts this is the worst fucking idea I have ever had. Did 10 sprints of 25 meters with BW squats and pushups in between every set. Threw up a little in my mouth on my way out of the gym and now I’ve been sitting here at a home in a pool of sweat trying not to vomit while my wife laughs at me.


My wife made smoothies for the kids and my 2 year old wanted me to try a sip. So I take a sip and get a big chunk in my mouth, figured it was a blueberry so I bit down. It crunches. That’s weird, blueberries don’t crunch. I pull it out of my mouth.


I spit everything in my mouth out, spit like 6 more times of just saliva and presumably earwig parts everywhere. It had apparently crawled into the straw in our drawer and I got the first sip through the straw. I will never be the same.


Hahahahaha. That is the funnest shit evra :joy::joy::joy: