Thanks, ProfX 
Deanec, thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss and I think your family sounds wonderful. I honestly cannot imagine starting over when my kids are that old! How do your older boys feel about the younger kids? I bet they love it. Great pic!
Here’s my brag picture
Thanks, Jilly.
The older kids are pretty cool with it. Tim (the oldest) hasn’t been around much since the two younger ones were born, but Jeff (#2) is great with kids and Drew and Karalyn adore him. It is going to be hard all around when Jeff goes off to college next fall. I think it is beneficial for the older ones to see the whole process of the pregnancy, (well, not the WHOLE process) birth and early years as they prepare to make their own choices about kids. They also get an idea about our parenting style and how we dealt with them when they were younger.
Jeff doesn’t think he was nearly as loud or rambunctious as his younger brother; yeah right! We might not have planned it this way, and it’s not always roses, but I wouldn’t trade it either.
[quote]deanec wrote:
The next generation was also the impetus for me getting off my fat butt and losing 60 pounds over the last year. I couldn’t keep up otherwise! From my perspective, I couldn’t imagine having just one, but you gotta do what you think is right.
Cool Topic…
[/quote]
I was 37 ( or 38? ) when my son was born. So, I am a bit of an old dad myself. My son was also an inspiration for me to get off my fat ass and get into a bit better shape. The fact that my union job ( no skills to speak of ) job is going down the tubes was a help too. LMFFAO. I want to offer my belated condolences for your loss as well. I can’t imagine going through something like that.
[quote]dmanor wrote:
I also like other kids, if you don?t like other children remember they are a product of their environment and up bringing so can you really blame them for their behaviour? At least not all the time.
[/quote]
Since it’s up to the parents to raise the children, it stands to reason that the children are just a reflection of the parents. I don’t personally take much credit for the way my son is turning out. I must be doing something right, for him to be such a good kid. But I give the credit to him, my wife and perhaps my dog, before I take any. ( The pecking order in our house, anyway. ) I don’t really care how or why most children turn out to be an irritant to me. The simple fact is, they are.
If I go out, and people’s kids are running around when they shouldn’t be, screaming when they shouldn’t be… ( I actually HATE the high pitched squeals from some children, the ones that could break glass ) I sometimes say something to try to get the kids to settle down. This always backfires, the last time, i snapped, and just said, “HEY” as a kid RAN past me in a restaraunt for the 15th time, his mother pipes up, “I can discipline my own kids.”
I happened to be with my boy, and two of his buddies, so I just let it slide. I should have said, “then why aren’t you?” But I decided right then and there, fuck other people’s kids, if they can’t control them, then it’s not up to me to try. I should also mention, that at our local pool, kids 7 yrs and older, can swim by themselves, regardless of ability. Some of these kids are obviously dropped off by parents who just want to be shut of them for awhile.
Some of these kids have no social skills whatsoever, I stopped one from trying to drown my boy once. ( no shit ). And the lifeguards are completely responsible for those kids while they are in the pool. I find that pathetic. Sorry about the rant.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Jillybop,
Everytime you post I think I respect you more.[/quote]
DITTO !!!
|/ 3Toes
[quote]Jillybop wrote:
Thanks, ProfX
Deanec, thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry for your loss and I think your family sounds wonderful. I honestly cannot imagine starting over when my kids are that old! How do your older boys feel about the younger kids? I bet they love it. Great pic!
Here’s my brag picture
[/quote]
Holy shit It’s Batman and Robin!
I love kids.I have 3 kids,2boys and A baby daughter.They are alot of work and responsiblity, but the rewards are endless.
My husband and I adopted two little boys. Both at birth…9 M and 10 days apart. I kind of view them as little presents I get to open up everyday…A great friend also told me once kids keep you grounded and its so true. You really remember to enjoy what really matters in life.
[quote]americangirl wrote:
My husband and I adopted two little boys. Both at birth…9 M and 10 days apart. I kind of view them as little presents I get to open up everyday…A great friend also told me once kids keep you grounded and its so true. You really remember to enjoy what really matters in life.
[/quote]
americangirl, I think adopting is one of the most incredible and loving things that a human being can do. My hat is off to you and your husband for such a selfless act. Nancy and I have been short term foster parents and know what happens when these kids get bounced around, and it is heartbreaking.
We really do have some extraordinary ladies on this board…
[quote]deanec wrote:
americangirl wrote:
My husband and I adopted two little boys. Both at birth…9 M and 10 days apart. I kind of view them as little presents I get to open up everyday…A great friend also told me once kids keep you grounded and its so true. You really remember to enjoy what really matters in life.
americangirl, I think adopting is one of the most incredible and loving things that a human being can do. My hat is off to you and your husband for such a selfless act. Nancy and I have been short term foster parents and know what happens when these kids get bounced around, and it is heartbreaking.
We really do have some extraordinary ladies on this board…[/quote]
You know people always say that but we think we are the 110% lucky ones in the deal. Even after 4 and 5 years the selflessness of their birthmothers is what blows me away. They were/are both beautiful strong women.
I love my kids, even when they are in a tantrum. How could I ever NOT love them?
[quote]
You know people always say that but we think we are the 110% lucky ones in the deal. Even after 4 and 5 years the selflessness of their birthmothers is what blows me away. They were/are both beautiful strong women.[/quote]
That is a great point…
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
I love my kids, even when they are in a tantrum. How could I ever NOT love them?[/quote]
Rockscar, is that you behind those two beautiful little girls? I hardly recognized you without the sunglasses
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
I love my kids, even when they are in a tantrum. How could I ever NOT love them?[/quote]
What cute girls!
Better keep them away from my boys in about ten…
I like my kids and I love liking them. They are 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. I like talking to them like an adult as in having conversations with them and asking them their opinions on things, (the one year old doesn’t have much to contribute mind you, but it’s still fun). The four year old helps me with dinner and is getting good at it. I love taking them on trips to the store and/or parts store…They’re my buddies and I miss hanging around them even when I’m at work.
3 Toe, change a few minor details and I could write exactly what you just wrote. My boy is now 4 and we are “buds” as he says, but during thge 1st year I didn’t have breasts so he didn’t have much use for me. I remember the first winter there wasn’t really that much I could do so I just went snowboarding.
As of last Friday, he now goes with me. I can’t wait until he can go up on the mountain with me. For now I’m just towing him around the bunny slope.
I love my son so much I really don’t care how bad he acts. When I lecture him about something, I’m not even mad, don’t care, and I usually think what he did was pretty funny. I just lecture him because I know I need to.
Last night he made a mess on the kitchen floor. I really didn’t want to bother him with it and wanted to clean it up myself, but, instead, I went and did the right thing and made him clean it up. I’ve still never hit him or yelled at him. He’ll probably never be spanked.
I think that woman may have an instant physiological love for a new born, but for men, I think we grow to love our children. Even though I loved my boy when he was born it was more of a love of this thing my wife and I wanted. Or, even a love of my own immortality. Now it’s just pure love.
The night before last he fell asleep in my arms while watching TV. Looking down at his face at such times is a spiritual thing for me. He looks like absolute perfection.
[quote]kellyc wrote:
3 Toe, change a few minor details and I could write exactly what you just wrote. My boy is now 4 and we are “buds” as he says, but during thge 1st year I didn’t have breasts so he didn’t have much use for me. I remember the first winter there wasn’t really that much I could do so I just went snowboarding.
As of last Friday, he now goes with me. I can’t wait until he can go up on the mountain with me. For now I’m just towing him around the bunny slope.
I love my son so much I really don’t care how bad he acts. When I lecture him about something, I’m not even mad, don’t care, and I usually think what he did was pretty funny. I just lecture him because I know I need to.
Last night he made a mess on the kitchen floor. I really didn’t want to bother him with it and wanted to clean it up myself, but, instead, I went and did the right thing and made him clean it up. I’ve still never hit him or yelled at him. He’ll probably never be spanked.
I think that woman may have an instant physiological love for a new born, but for men, I think we grow to love our children. Even though I loved my boy when he was born it was more of a love of this thing my wife and I wanted. Or, even a love of my own immortality. Now it’s just pure love.
The night before last he fell asleep in my arms while watching TV. Looking down at his face at such times is a spiritual thing for me. He looks like absolute perfection.[/quote]
Kelly. My initial response to my newborn son was nothing but pure selfishness on my part, I am sure. I did go through the motions of helping, I changed him, and held him through hours of crying, and when he’d finally stop, I’d try to ever so slowly lay down with him on top of me, and as soon as he knew I wasn’t standing any more, the crying would start all over.
I just suddenly realized after all these years, that maybe I suffered from some sort of male post partum depression. It doesn’t seem to matter now, anyways. Because I don’t think that anyone suffered any lasting, damaging effects from my bastard days back then. I think I just simply was not cut out for the infant years of child raising. I honestly looked at every day back then, as being one more day done, that I’d never have to repeat.
As for lecturing him, and cleanup. Now that, I am 100% the same. I honestly rarely see the need to discipline him at all, and I have to put my game face on to do it. I tend to see the humour in his indiscretions, and I just do what I think is right. And as for cleaning up messes and shit, he knows if he makes the mess, he has to clean it up. And most of the time, I’d rather just do it for him, cause it’s faster and easier. I just don’t because he’s gotta take responsibility.
As for yelling at him, or spanking. Again, exactly the same. I don’t yell at him. And I have never hit him, and don’t intend to.
And here’s my brag. The other night, I was taking him to Karate. I forgot his water bottle, and I told him so on the way there. His response? “No, Dad. It’s my responsibility to bring my water bottle.” I was floored. We decided to split the responsibility. LOL
|/ 3Toes
[quote]deanec wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I love my kids, even when they are in a tantrum. How could I ever NOT love them?
Rockscar, is that you behind those two beautiful little girls? I hardly recognized you without the sunglasses :)[/quote]
Yeah, I had a little bloating going on in the face, but it’s better now!
[quote]americangirl wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I love my kids, even when they are in a tantrum. How could I ever NOT love them?
What cute girls!
Better keep them away from my boys in about ten…[/quote]
Yes, I’m in deep doo-doo in about 9 years!
I figure if I keep on staying the T-path I’ll just scare the boys away with a minor flex of the pecs, and then I’ll show 'em my real “GUNS”!
I honestly don’t know how I’ll deal with the dating issues later. I’m sure I won’t handle it very well.
[quote]Rockscar wrote:
I honestly don’t know how I’ll deal with the dating issues later. I’m sure I won’t handle it very well.[/quote]
And you know what ‘they’ say about the difference between boys and girls…
If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one prick.
Sorry, I hadda do it.
|/ 3Toes
[quote]The3toedSloth wrote:
Rockscar wrote:
I honestly don’t know how I’ll deal with the dating issues later. I’m sure I won’t handle it very well.
And you know what ‘they’ say about the difference between boys and girls…
If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one prick.
Sorry, I hadda do it.
|/ 3Toes
[/quote]
I’m a waffler on this.
My rule for the Girls:
“NO BOYFRIENDS WITH VANS”…
yet, if I had a boy I probably would not worry about a van, I’d probably get one for him…??? WTF?
These are my babies 8,10,12,15.
I’ve thought about the question on and off for the last day. I’ve seen a man pull his belt off and beat his 5 yr old boy with it in a grocery store. I watched a woman leave a newborn locked in her car during the month of August in southern New Mexico. I called the police in both cases. I believe that they did and do love their children, they could not overcome their own weaknesses. We all have weaknesses but I trust they are not damaging to our children.
All four of my children were born cesarian so I was the first to hold, wash, change them. I woke up for bottles for 9 years, mine was the first name to come from their mouths(sorry moms), I’m the medical urgency parent because with four there is always something and of course I am mr. fix it. I love to hang out with with my kids and their friends. Can life get any better?
Yes I love my kids, but who wouldn’t?
Theo
