T Nation

Do You Hide Your Use from Your Significant Other?

So I’m curious how many people keep this from.their significant others? I’ve dated girls cool with it. Others not. Some girls think roid rage is a real serious thing, or the other stereotypes like shrinking dicks… we all now the truths but we also all know how hard it is to convince someone set in their beliefs different.

Honestly i would never want to convince anyone any different. I’d rather just never prove them right. My current girlfriend and i never crossed this conversation before get involved, and it came up the other day. (Mid cycle…) she looks at PEDs like cocaine or something. She is a little naive to think my random atrophy and endless erections are irrelevant to PEDs this relationship but thats for the best she doesn’t know at this point… as long as i maintain libido, and a healthy relationship she will never complain.

My questions are

Who hides it?
How do you hide it?
Have you ever had a bad experience 100% juice related that you wouldn’t have without PEDs toqards a GF(tren, drol, rage?
PCT, coming off the stuff, sex drive temporary diminished type issues?

Just all around experiences you guys have with maintaining a relarionship with a good girl and continuing this lifestyle.

(I must add. I’m am athlete and trying to get on as a career firefighter and seasonally a smoke jumper which limits me to 175-180 pounds and im not allowed to be tall, thankfully im not…)

(I am not a comp builder or model. I don’t generally focus on my looks. I want to look good obviously, maintain a 7-11% BF at 180 pounds 5’7" and good strong lifts…so hiding it honestly doesnt seem all that serious. I could almost naturally reach some of my goals but I’m competing with hundreds of guys who are also doing whatever it takes to be the best, and I’m not about to lose to them)

Il give my input but I’m probably not the type of person this was geared towards.

Im married so hiding my steroid use would be literally impossible unless I were to do something like keep it at work or something crazy. My wife isn’t happy about my usage I wouldn’t say she is supportive. Sometimes she will even make jokes about it like if I get pissed off she will say “see that’s all the steroids” it will actually make me laugh because it’s not true (or is it🤔) she has confidence that I’m educated enough to make informed decisions on my health and how I treat my body so altho she isn’t supportive she doesn’t give me shit about stopping.

Now if I wasn’t married and was dating its not something I would discuss unless things were taking Avery serious turn towards living together/long term relationship status at which time if she wasn’t OK with it I would then have to decide what is more important to me the girl or the gear. And I think that’s a obvious answer THE GEAR! But in all seriousness I’m not sure I would want to be with someone long term who doesn’t respect my goals and desires to use gear and train.


I was honest with my wife from day 1 I decided to start. She has been supportive, as with anything I do. She’d probably help me inject if it weren’t for the fact I’d like to give her some form of plausible deniability if something goes wrong. Plus, she loves the increased libido.

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Ya my new ish girlfriend is aware of my past cycles and not supportive. But we weren’t really in a situation where i felt my choices should be reflecting her beliefs at all on the matter. At this time I’m focusing on all the goals that will make.me the best version of myself for my career. And she will never stop that. I also assume she isn’t naive but does not want the answers. So we generally don’t bring it up. Just the most recent conversation seemed a little fishy.

We don’t live together (yet but will in a few months) and I’m generally a lot more controlled and a lot less temperamental on cycles. So i can guarentee there is no stopping me. I am debating doing a blast and cruise situation currently as i come off 750mg week of test now. I would prefer to restore my atrophy but even at 500mg I’m shrunk up. HCG is on the way now but i have more to learn about the blast and cruise stuff more. I haven’t done it yet ever.

Ultimately i need to hide the product and find a consistent schedule i can poke at… orals she will be oblivious to so those can stay in my reach. You guys have any clever storing solutions for hcg to stay cold or for vials and needles? I dont think my gym has a locker rental service. But maybe a gym bag in my trunk.for.the summer will suffice?

I don’t hide my trt from my wife and she knows I do a couple blast per year but she doesn’t like me taking anything not prescribed by a dr like the stuff I get from ugl’s.

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no, if asked I am open and honest (regarding family and close friends) about what I do so long as it doesn’t put me at risk of being prosecuted (legally). I’m typically a very open book as I feel honesty generally tends to be the best way to communicate, that’s partially due to the way I am and in part due to autism (for instance with social cues I don’t understand why people sometimes lie to make others feel better. If someone asks a girl out or asks another dude if they want to hang out, why make up an excuse? Just say “No, I don’t like you” if that’s how you feel, I respect individuals much more when they’re honest like that, sure there’s the possibility of feelings getting hurt (because who LIKES rejection), but I’d hypothesise it’s more hurtful finding out later (esp if the person is talking behind you’re back)

A month ago or so a few individuals came over to my house, work associates of some of my family, I had just gotten out of the shower and was thus wearing nothing but a towel (unaware visitors were inside), so a few days later a family member comes up to me and says “you know, X and X enquired whether you were using anabolic steroids” however instead of asking me this individual asked his wife who then went on to enquire further sources instead of simply just asking me. Behavior like this has the potential to start rumours, I’d much rather just say (given it isn’t a risk) “yes, I have used/use X and X dose etc.”

Words aren’t a particularly good testimony if not caught on record/tape. as I they can say I said X, I can say I didn’t, it’s slander (granted I’d probs be like under oath, thus if caught lying I’d be in trouble), however I don’t worry about this, I don’t do anything that could harm the general populace, and given I’m a consumer (on a VERY minor scale even in terms of consumption), not a distributor I’m in the clear so long as I’m careful (and soon I’ll be getting the stuff legally anyway, I hear certain clinics in the US will prescribe high doses of test, anavar and stuff. Only really interested in the test though), I would like to try pharm grade var though, because when I tried it, it surpassed my appetite, made me feel jumpy and focused, shot up my HR (almost identical to the effect I get from stimulant medication), I don’t think it was oxandrolone either, I labmaxed it under UV, it was something, but it didn’t seem to properly match with oxandrolone. The supplier I obtained the oxandrolone from also sold speed, amphetamines and other stimulants, thus I wonder if my product was tainted.

made me hard as a rock tho (muscles looked hard, skin on forearms at one point looked like a the thin layer of skin covering an erect penis upon flexion with a pump)

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Ya honesty is key with the right individuals and discretion is also key with the rest. I generally don’t speak of any use except with gym partners and people who will benefit from advices I’m capable of giving from my experiences with their future endeavours or inquisitions.

That’s why my girlfriend is not exactly in the demographic of people I’d share the knowledge with. Shes not interested in gaining knowledge on the matter and wishes to remain naive to the way it works and what safe use is verses what we all hear about in horror stories of guys making mistakes. She’s worried for all the right reasons and i don’t want to take that from her just because I’m not worried about it for my own reasons.

Biggest thing at this time for me is maintaining use and keeping her happy. She won’t ask so i don’t have to lie. As long as I treat her right and focus on my career and maintain my current morals and don’t become conceited she won’t care enough to ever want to know

Its more out of respect that i hide it then anything

Who else would give me a shot in my but?


Her big issue lies in her last relationship of seven years that turned abusive.The guy was blasting 1000mg a week test and orals for first cycle with no prep, minimal gym use, abusive tendency and insecurities galore. He was cheating and using recreational drugs (mostly coke) the whole time and he blamed steroids for a lot of his non roid related choices. I’m sure in the future we can sit and talk about it more but at this time its a hard no.

For now i need. To keep hcg cold, my balls fertile and normal size, and blast and cruise through the year without bringing the products into her life.

Thank god in Canada posession of it with intent to use is not illegal and the only legal issues are purchase, distribution and home brewing.

Ill get on TRT probably in time if i need to go that route and make it more aware to her but until that day… hard no all around lol.


has he died of heart disease yet?

I take dexamphetamine (10-20mg/day depending on how focused I’m required to be) for severe ADHD, interactions with anabolic steroids and stimulants do exist

Animal models link stimulants (like amphetamines) and anabolic steroids, when taken concurrently, to greatly increase the potential increase in aggressive behaviour mediated by amphetamines (and I notice I’m a bit short fused these days, not enough to the point that it actually effects my behaviour though. An example would be, I had my car keys on me, left them on the desk, went to get a drink of water, came back and forgot I put them on my desk. Knowing I’d just had them but now couldn’t find them and would now be late for my arrangements made me irritated and I felt like punching something (like a boxing bag or something), I’m typically very calm, thus feeling aggression (whilst unprovoked) is uncharacteristic of me.

I do feel aggression when I see people picking on weaker/ helpless individuals who can’t stand up for or help themselves. Injustice also pisses me off when people suffer for no good reason.

Check this case report out

individual used testosterone (750mg/wk) + nandrolone decanoate (750mg/wk) 6 wks on 3 wks off for eleven years straight (thus he practically never went off, as not enough half lives would pass for anabolic effect of nandrolone to wear off, and after 3 wks of long estered test at 750mg/wk levels would still be in physiologic if not pharamacologic ranges. Add to this he (frequently) used, amphetamines (including methamphetamine), barbiturates, cocaine… There’s more concerning reports supposedly attributed solely to AAS (typically high doses aside from the outliers, however it’s impossible to gauge as doses aren’t always given, genetic predisposition plays a factor as one with a congenital HCM will probably die from AAS), and many people lie about doses (or can’t remember), that being said there’s certainly something to be said about immense cardiovascular toxicity of anabolic steroids. The hypertrophic response of the LV in response to massive doses of AAS (cardiac myocyte androgen receptor binding, high blood pressure induced LVH, pathological training induced LVH (athletes heart) that’s attenuated due to being able to be able to train WAY harder than a natural athlete, add frequent use of immensely cardiotoxic drugs and it’s bad news.

I do wonder whether the dexamphetamie will have adverse effects on by cardiovascular system, however the use is supposedly going to be short term until I finish school, in which a re evaluation will be given to see whether I still require it to concentrate in uni (I can’t concentrate for more than 15 mins at a time without it unless I’m interested in the subject, then I can go for hours. On this stuff the most boring stuff I can focus on for hours on end (even if I’m bored) my mind doesn’t wander. Nor do I have many of my other ADHD style symptoms like impulsivity, disorganisation (of certain things, if we are talking about routine and structure in life I’m very organised), lack of concentration etc

I’m on TRT btw, been on since 16 due to shit luck and a wide range of medical pathology, the recovery I’ve made from the person I was two years ago is remarkable, at one point I thought I’d never be able to pick up a weight or even go for a walk longer than a couple hundred meters ever again.

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Abuse of anything can cause a problem. I have a former training partner that needed a pacemaker at 27. That’s when he became a “former” training partner. He blamed it on the AI’s and admitted possible overuse, he was also on an insane dose at the time. Which thing really did it? Who knows, but he was abusing both.

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Define insane dose? 1000mg/wk?

I suppose he had arrythmias/ went into cardiac arrest at one point for the pacemaker to be implanted. Can he ever train again? What’s his health status currently like and does he still have the potential to lie a long and prosperous life?

I send my sympathies

He is pretty healthy now. He would be standing there talking to you and just pass out. His heart rate would drop to single digits. He had to drop Strongman, and he has to be careful about things hitting his chest. I really do not know exactly what he took, he probably didn’t either. He liked to say that “anything less than 6 grams is natural”, if that is enough of an indication for you. He is 6’-5 and was around 300 lbs and had abs. He seems to be mostly into yoga now and he still works as a personal trainer.
The really odd part is, his heart seems to use the leads for the pacemaker to signal now. His problem was that the signals to beat just weren’t making the trip, the pacemaker has bluetooth data and apparently very rarely does anything.

Do you know what type of heart block he had (sinoatrial, atrioventricular or intra hisan? If one of the first two what degree, if third, left or right bundle branch.

Did he have an enlarged heart, and was it failing? Could be associated with the block, AAS induced heart block is possible (damaged myocardium) however very few case reports exist.

I guess if severe enough electrolyte retention from AAS could also cause heart block, but that’s a far fetched theory

6’5, 300lbs, abs… What a mammoth of a man.

Do you believe he actually used more than 6 grams per week? Did he eat badly? How clean was his lifestyle otherwise.

I mean 6 grams per week is an expensive ass habit.

Is he still muscular?

His diet was always very clean, I’m sure it still is. All I know from the time was that his heart rate would drop to almost zero. He could well have been using that much. His on cycle/off cycle swing was a good 30 pounds. and he felt himself to be an expert on AAS and PED’s in general. He trained lots of people from athletes to some young woman going to Westpoint (back when none had graduate from there).

@unreal24278 there was a study done in NSW about deaths from steroid usage. You can find the original paper here.

There were 24 deaths in the study period (1995 to 2014), and although heart disease was a factor, suicide and violence were also common. @physioLojik has raised concerns about Nandrolone and Trenbolone depleting serotonin (and having an impact on depression), which might explain some of these.

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Yes, I’ve seen this study, interestingly the prevelance other other cardiotoxic agents such as cocaine, methamphetamine etc are highly prevelant in the sample.

So how long was he on the juice for before his heart starting giving him troubles?

That and did he really cycle off? From 6g to PCT/trt seems hard to believe lol

That sounds like bad news keeping illegal drugs in your trunk 24/7. If you don’t end up getting arrested or robbed at an inconvenient time,They may degrade in the summer heat when your trunk becomes an oven for 12 hours a day. Then you run the risk of her finding them without you knowing and a fight between the two of you turning into her getting you arrested for possession. You should decide to find a women who is ok with your lifestyle or drop the lifestyle if this one means that much too you. Hiding substance use from a live in partner is a lot of work. It always turns into a mess and can have fallout far reaching beyond what would be expected. Just some advice from someone who has lived it.