T Nation

Do they hate us?

Why are people angry with those of us who are in shape? This is frustrating to me, as I feel like there are people who do not like me based on the fact that I am not fat and have a fairly lean muscular body. What is so wrong with wanting to achieve this look that seems to piss others off. I do not get it, any one else experience this? I feel like when I go out in public people give me weird looks and think I am vein or something for wanting to be muscular. I dont know I just had to get this off of my chest.

Janderstein, I noticed at work that people were really kind. Once I started using the facilities at work to train and showered, noone would even say a word to me, they wouldnt even talk to me specially make eye contact, if I was wrapped up in a towel. It was obviously clear that ignoring me was their way of basically saying “you suck”! Im by no means big but do have a lean physique from boxing, specially compared to the trainees at this particular place. I feel ya brotha. "jealousy and envy nothin’ but the enemy!"

Da Boxer

I hear ya’ J.

If I hear another crack about the foods I eat or my shake habit, I’m gonna pull a Michael Douglas-Falling Down deal on all my detractors. You know get a buzz cut and sawed-off 12gauge and waste em all.

Okay, maybe that would be a bit harsh. But anyway, you catch my drift.

I think it’s a simple issue for most: they simply feel all the more uncomfortable in their unhealthy lifestyles. We represent a threat to their self-esteem/ego.

who are “they” and why do we care what “they” think or say?

Also, i think if you are one of those guys that walk with imaginary lat syndrome and wear tight clothes all the time even though the shirt would fit better on a ten year old, then you deserve to be looked at funny. whenever i see a guy like this i say, “Hey, my little brother needs his shirt back.”

I think that a person who is considered out of shape says a fit person is vein in order to make themselves feel better. It’s an excuse for them not to workout. They don’t want to be vein. LOL
I get that feeling in the gym sometimes when I wear revealing gym clothes. The other ladies look at me as if I’m showing off. I feel that I’m there to get in shape. I enjoy watching my progress and enjoy watching my muscles in action as I work out.
Don’t worry about what they think. They’re just jealous. I think you have to have a good self esteem to be proud of your body, I don’t feel that means we think we are vein… we just have strong character. If wanting to look good and be healthy, and being comfortable enough to show it off is vein, then I guess I guess I will be vein.

Really I think it’s a matter of being easier to try to pull you down or hate you than the bigger effort of them pulling themselves up and fixing what don’t work in their own lives. Don’t sweat them J, they don’t know you, stay strong.

some people think that it is impossible to have a great body, unless you are obsesed, and don’t have a real life.

others think that to have a great body you have to be a millionaire, like a movie star, to pay for the surgeries.

when they find themselves in front of a “normal” person, with wife, kids, a profession, and learn that they were wrong, that “real” people can have great bodies, they can only feel anger. It is like you are actually telling them, “you were wrong, you are just a loser”. The truth hurts.

I feel happy whenever that happens.

Oh yes…I know how you feel. I am in no way a “vain” person. But I am always a bit apprehensive to wear tank tops or god-for-bid walk around with no shirt on when I mow the lawn…cause then I feel as if people think I am trying to “show off”, when I am not. “It’s 90 degrees outside! I’m HOT jack-ass!!”. I’ve gotten those looks where certain fat ass guys buying donuts and cigarettes in the gas station give me the double look like they are going to kick my butt, but its not like I am purposly flaunting myself. I cant help the fact that I am in shape and that they are sad, jealous, and out of shape. I hear ya bro!

Oh and poohbaya…I totally know what you mean about people constantly commenting on what you eat! “Shit…I dont say anything to you about eating 4 slices of pizza and downing a 40 oz bottle of coke! So dont say something like, how can you eat that?..when I am eating egg whites with oatmeal and steamed veggies!!!” Ahhhhh…I HATE THAT!

Good thread J

its a universal thing… Sometimes I see a good looking girl with a dildo… and I automatically hate him. But then I realize that guy could actually be cool. Jealousy is human nature. I am sure people are jealous of the size of my biceps, but maybe it will help them work harder. It did for me when I saw other people that were bigger than I was. It always makes my day for someone to comment on how they think I am on steroids. It is all envy!

Although I’m now training smarter and am on my way to being a T-vixen, I’ve been absurdly overweight and know what I’m talking about here.

Although the attitude may come across as hatred it’s plain and simple resentment and jealousy. As a fatty, it’s far easier to bash someone who’s fit than to change all of the bad lifestyle habits that have made you what you are. And, since fatties are now statistically the majority, thin people actually ARE oddities. People who are not just thin, but are also lean and fit, who bring shakes and bars to work or school, who travel with a cooler of prepacked healthy meals, who make the time to work out instead of parking their butts in front of the TV for hours, are even more out of the ordinary. (And damn well deserving of applause!)

On top of that, noone likes to feel inferior, and simply by existing, no matter how nice a person you are, as a fit person you’ll make a fat person feel lousy. Your fitness is proof of your superior willpower, adaptability, strength, and most importantly, superior attractiveness to members of the opposite sex.

Lots of fatties want to change but don’t know how. They may feel that they lack the resources, the time, energy or will power. Much of the time they may simply lack the knowledge, and as a T-man you KNOW getting lean and fit revolves around knowledge. So, your being fit is also proof of your superior knowledge and intellect.

There are so many reasons why you, as a fit person, will inspire the anger and resentment of the overweight majority. Most of this anger is inspired by envy though, and you should keep reminding yourself - if you’re worth envying, you’ve got alot to be proud of.

We need to be strong and rise above this sort of thing. The more we worry about how others feel, the less we are focussed on our individual goals. Personally, yes, this sort of thing happens to me on occasion and it bugs the hell out of me, but what bothers me more is how much time I spend thinking about it. Sometimes it affects my moods and focus and thus in the end, my results.

It is worst when I am working out, since the gym I use is populated with people that have never seen an Olympic lift, a deadlift, periodization, nutrition etc and so I get questioned on why I am doing things and sometimes even rude comments from people. In the end, though, it’s my own fault for letting it bother me.


But it’s human nature no? envy…

Listen all of you folks are lucky, cause you live in the states (long rant starting)
In EVERY gym I was nobody squated double bodyweight. nobody deadlifted (at all!) nobody was under 10% BF. nobody was using a post workout supplement.
men, people are so ignorant in Israel they see me mix my malto and whey they go tell the trainer Im taking steroids…
not to mention in the beach taking my shirt off is embaressing cause people are wishing for my death… All the out of shape guys in my work (everybody) always talked about my food and why do I eat tuna, bla bla.

man I could rant all they.

The best thing to do is to find some fit friends(hard here).

But Bill phillips of all people said this once: if you don’t want people to envy you or hate or talk about you then - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. the dogs will always bark.

Do your own thing J. it will be OK. people WILL like you for who you are, and those who don’t - you can’t help it so don’t sweat it.

just my take


You know, I’ve been active all my life, and have been weight training now for nearly 20-years.

And that’s probably why I don’t think about this stuff; could really care less what people who don’t train think. Sure, I get rather annoyed when people come up to me to tell me what they’ve been eating or ask me what I eat. But so what? Life goes on.

The stuff we’re doing is not rocket science. We’re not saving the eco system, finding a cure for cancer or making the earth a better place. What we’re doing is very much for “personal satisfaction”. You get up, either train or eat, go to work, eat, maybe train, go home watch TV, read, whatever, lah dee f**n dah.

No one but you forces you to go to the gym. No one but you makes you eat the way that you do. If you’re behaving and dressing in a way to draw attention to yourself due to your vocational activities; it’s not that people are “jealous”, but just think you’re freakin’ odd.

People are like this not only about fitness but everything.

If an athlete succeeds, he/she must be doping.

If a business person succeeds, they must have been born rich, or it’s their ethnicity, or they got some break.

If you work out, it is not to be healthy, but because you are vain.

Even in politics I think jealousy plays a big role.

What sucks is, these are not just strangers, but many of my friends tell me “you are obsessed”, “you are vain”, even some friends who are personal trainers try to tell me my goals are wrong I should aim for something different, etc.

The funny thing is, I started working out again not to look better, but I realized i was going to die a painful early death if I didn’t get back in shape (I was 80lbs overweight). So, it’s nice that i look better now, but I am careful to never use that as motivation, it is not enough.

I think, people just feel threatened when they see other people succeed, it makes them think “what have I done with my life, I don’t think I have the discipline to do that. But wait, I am a good person, and normal, so something must be wrong with this other person, that’s the only possible explanation.”

Phatman, I copied that quote about obsession from you a few months ago and read it every day!

It’s rather ironic that the thing that led me to t-mag was Chris Shugart’s “Merry Christmas, Bob” Atomic Dog article from issue 136. Someone posted it in a BFL forum that I frequented, and it really struck a chord with me. I don’t know how many times I wanted to say those things to people, mostly relatives. “I’d like to drop a few pounds, but I just don’t have the time.” Right. Uh huh.

I read that post in October, 2002, and t-mag has since made a HUGE difference in my training and nutrition.

Another funny thing is people saying “It’s all in your head man, youre gettin paranoid delusions!”

I think accepting someone as different and better in something takes acceptence of self, which many dont have.

I can relate to what has been said in this post. When I was my bulkier (fatter) self everybody was super friendly with me: at the gym, when I went out …

But when I got into “beach shape” I started to get mean stares from peoples who would joke with me a few weeks back! Some peoples stopped talking to me (preferring to talk behind my back!).

When I go out its even worst! Not that I go out much these days, but when I do all the guys in the place see me as the enemy and act all “alpha-male” towards me!

Even my best friend whom I’ve known all my life make comments now … You’re an egomaniac, You’re too cocky, You’re a show-off and it goes on an on. And the sad thing is that he actually looks angry as hell when he says these things.

It’s kinda ironic that in a society driven by appearances, when somebody actually looks good he is casted aside…

"It’s kinda ironic that in a society driven by appearances, when somebody actually looks good he is casted aside… "

Christian… Well said. I totally agree with you.

Wow, it is really nice to here so many others who experience this. I guess it is an issue with me because it is not in my nature not to wonder why someone who does not even know me, can dislike me, but I understand that like may of you said, is “human nature”. Jealousy is every where, and so is negativity, that is why we need to give the positive people in our lives more to be positive about, while ignoring those who want to bring you and I down. This for some will be harder than others. Thanks again all for chiming in on that, it was yesterday while shopping, and happening to be wearing a tank top due to the heat, that I noticed all of the mean mugs, and that was when it dawned on me, that based on my appearance I was unpopular. Oh well it will not stop my personal quest in any way, and obviously is not stopping any of you guys, and girls.