Dude, if I ever marry a woman who would leave me because I was really busy for 3 months, she deserves to be booted. What would she do if you were in grad school for four years? If this is truly the reason she told you, you needed to get rid of her quickly. I don’t even understand guys acting as if they are at a woman’s beck and call. I work hard daily. A woman will have to fit into my life as I fit into her’s. It would be a compromise, not some situation where I give up everything I love doing personally just to be with her. I don’t understand how any man could be happy in a marriage like that.
[quote]legend wrote:
sorry for lecturing you guys
i just hoped to prevent this happening to you lot too
ok i wasn’t piers brosnan every day, somedays i was a nerd, but this must be the same for all mortals.
turns out some local guy has been texting her saying what a goddess she is and I musn’t love her as I am always working on the house etc.
So i think the attentions of another have been the real problem, but if I had paid more attention then his compliments wouldn’t have had the same effect[/quote]
Bullshit. If she loved you his compliments would have had no effect.
Get a lawyer. Perhaps even get a private detective. She has fucked you over; don’t let her do it to you on the divorce.
And again, if some guy texting her trying to get in her pants is enough for her to divorce you, then, well, there is more going on than she says or she is an idiot. Either way, you can do better. Focus on making yourself happy now.
That cunt is no good…
Think about the soldiers who have been deployed for a year or more. If love was based on months worth of neglect, every single one of them would have nothing to come back home to in terms of relationship. Either you aren’t giving the whole story, or you should have avoided marrying the chick in the first place.
[quote]legend wrote:
sorry for lecturing you guys
i just hoped to prevent this happening to you lot too
ok i wasn’t piers brosnan every day, somedays i was a nerd, but this must be the same for all mortals.
turns out some local guy has been texting her saying what a goddess she is and I musn’t love her as I am always working on the house etc.
So i think the attentions of another have been the real problem, but if I had paid more attention then his compliments wouldn’t have had the same effect[/quote]
Who is Piers Brosnan? is that the guy from Perfect Strangers?
There is no connection at all between love and working on a mutual owned house. I call Bullshit.
They are both weasels…We are allways faced with attention by others all the time… Married people are the easiest pray for these weasels who from the outside can say or do all the right things, a True love will deal with this is in a respectable way to stop it.
[quote]Harley_63 wrote:
Who is Piers Brosnan? is that the guy from Perfect Strangers?
There is no connection at all between love and working on a mutual owned house. I call Bullshit.
They are both weasels…We are allways faced with attention by others all the time… Married people are the easiest pray for these weasels who from the outside can say or do all the right things, a True love will deal with this is in a respectable way to stop it.
[/quote]
Piers Brosnan was the last James Bond, fairly good British actor.
Although the thought of him playing “Balki” is funny as hell.
on to subject…
You’re right they’re both weasels, scum, etc. She went looking for extra attention, didn’t want to put forth the effort to tell her husband, hey I’m needing something here. It’s a sad common thing in marriages these days.
Balance that’s all I gotta say. If you can’t balance work and play and relationships, any man is gonna sink fast. If I had to guess, it wasn’t just for the fact he was working on the house for the last 3 months. If you’re anything like my family, its one project after another after another. I highly doubt that this occurred in the last 3 months. If so, she’s rather shallow.
I mean if the only time you spend with her is banging in the bed, that’s the reason why. Its exactly why you cant just give flowers to a woman and fix everything. There has to be the emotion behind it, thoughtfulness, etc. You could still be doing the motions but women know when you’re just doing things to get them off your back. Or just enough to get away with it.
-T
[quote]legend wrote:
women run on compliments and attention[/quote]
Wow, this is some powerful insight into the female mind.
And it’s PIERCE Brosnan.
[quote]Sabrina wrote:
And it’s PIERCE Brosnan.[/quote]
Piers, Pierce, he’ll never hold a candle to Sean Connery, nuff said.
[quote]legend wrote:
but women run on compliments and attention[/quote]
only women with very low self esteem need constant attention and compliments…
of course there is no shortage of women with very low self esteem so I could see why you could think ALL women are like that…
but there are women that have got their shit together…you just have to look that much harder to find one…
good luck!
[quote]DPH wrote:
but there are women that have got their shit together…you just have to look that much harder to find one…
[/quote]
…unless he doesn’t have HIS shit together. I truly don’t understand how the guy who has his shit together would find the circumstance described to be “his fault”. What if she went back to college and had to study 5 nights a week? The marriage would just fall apart immediately?
[quote]legend wrote:
yeah it was our house, we both worked on it
[/quote]
Well, brother, the house that you were working on … consider now that for every dollar you put into it, every hour that you labor, every detail you pour your heart into, may well be putting extra dollars into her pocket when it comes time to divide up your marital assets. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work on the house, I’m just saying that you are no longer working towards a common goal.
As you told it, that wasn’t a wife, she was a casual acquaintance. Don’t let her rob you.
[quote]legend wrote:
women run on compliments and attention
[/quote]
Not to be a misogynist here or anything, but acting like an asshole and treating them poorly will have you do better with women on average. Typically the worse I treat a woman, the better she treats me. There is a bit of an art to it, but acting like a sycophant isn’t the way to keep a woman happy.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
DPH wrote:
but there are women that have got their shit together…you just have to look that much harder to find one…
…unless he doesn’t have HIS shit together. I truly don’t understand how the guy who has his shit together would find the circumstance described to be “his fault”. What if she went back to college and had to study 5 nights a week? The marriage would just fall apart immediately? [/quote]
true…
with the information given so far it would seem this guy doesn’t have his head screwed on right…
in addition, any guy that had his shit together wouldn’t wind up marrying an attention whore to begin with…have as a fuck toy for a while sure but any dude with 7/10th of a decent working brain wouldn’t get hitched to one…
[quote]legend wrote:
turns out some local guy has been texting her saying what a goddess she is and I musn’t love her as I am always working on the house etc.
So i think the attentions of another have been the real problem, but if I had paid more attention then his compliments wouldn’t have had the same effect[/quote]
No. Don’t blame yourself. Sure it takes two to make or break a marriage. But you were building a house for you and she…what greater actions show a person how much you love them, by putting your blood, sweat and tears into something so solid. Mostly any decent woman would melt over that like butter in your hands. But instead, she’s spending her time with someone else…wow that’s messed up. You’re better off without someone like that. And a hundred of my single girlfriends would go nuts over a guy like you. Don’t ever change those great things about you just because one stupid person burned you and didn’t appreciate you. Hang in there and the best of luck to you…
[quote]RickJames wrote:
legend wrote:
women run on compliments and attention
Not to be a misogynist here or anything, but acting like an asshole and treating them poorly will have you do better with women on average. Typically the worse I treat a woman, the better she treats me. There is a bit of an art to it, but acting like a sycophant isn’t the way to keep a woman happy. [/quote]
Actually … you need both. We want the virgin / whore babe, I suspect women want the nice / asshole equally.
Back to the thread. Something`s missing. And it takes two to tango, so the woman has some blame to take, too, for feeding texto-man.
some mixed opinions
bit more background I’m 34 and we have been together 7 yrs. Although she has acted like she is 18
I think the self esteem comment nailed it. Low self esteem+flattery from a weasel=mixed up wife.
Chinadoll thanks for the kind words. All work on the house has stopped now, as it looks like i’ll have to give her 1/2 of everything in the divorce…booohooo