T Nation

Do Meatheads Dream of Iron Sheep?


@applesare Thanks for stopping in! I’d like to think the opposite is true, that the regulars at my bar job know I’m SAFE!

Everyone can be dangerous if they want to be, weapons make that pretty easy nowadays. The former bouncer I bounced two weeks ago is dangerous. He’s got no qualms about sexually assaulting females and beating on people much weaker than him. He is a clear danger to other people, and that’s why he’s barred from the premise by me.

But you could also ask the question, what’s more dangerous? The mangy 30lb mutt who bites everything it can, scratches you up frequently and barks it’s way into confrontations with other dogs? Or is the 100 lb German Shepard who’s well-trained, never reacts to aggressive dogs and never bites humans more dangerous?

I’ve been bouncing there long enough to have built up a reputation of sorts. I’ve had a few guys come up and say they “wouldn’t want to mess with me”, to which I always reply “why would you want to mess with anyone?”. I’ve had far more people come up and say how much better of a bouncer I am than the other asshole I just bounced, because I’m polite, friendly and don’t beat people up. I just get them out the door without hurting them. Sometimes that can look a little flashy and jiu-jitsu-ish like takedowns, throws, and arm-drags to back takes to rear naked chokes. But I’ve never actually gone to the ground on anyone. Never needed to.

You just need to get the assholes out the door, and so far I’ve never needed to hurt anyone to accomplish that goal. I’ve taken a few licks over the years, but nothing worse than a typical night of jiu jitsu training.

Safe bouncing, not dangerous!