T Nation

Do Meatheads Dream of Iron Sheep?


Your log has become a food channel.

Don’t forget the meatloaf. I tried yours. Good!


It is and probably always will be my #1 tool. It’s all about temperature control.

Thanks for popping in, feel free to do so any time no matter what the topic at hand is. And hey, you could always work on your trap development more, shrink that giraffe neck down an inch or so! It looks like you’ve already got some, but why not do shrugs and rack-pulls for jiu jitsu? It’s as good of a reason as any if you ask me.

Yeah I should probably go lift some weights or something!

I probably have enough good recipes to open a diner. I can do a mean breakfast including pancakes (easy), omelettes, eggs most ways (except Benedict, but that hurdle can be cleared) home fries, hash browns, bacon and all of the usual suspects. I do a very, very good steak and I know how to get the doneness right, all kinds of veggies all kinds of ways, a variety of potato recipes (various styles of mashed, roasted, fried, baked, cheesy potato casserole). I do fantastic sauces and gravies. Lots of meatloaf variations. Pan-seared scallops. Schnitzel. Roasted chicken. Pork roast. Sandwiches are a piece of cake.

But holy hell that would be a ton of work!

The burger shack is appealing to me because I could run it with one other person and keep limited hours, like maybe 11am-8pm or so and not have to spend hours prepping and closing each day. The taco shack does weird hours of 11-2 for lunch and 5-8 for dinner and they are absolutely slaying it. Non-stop the whole time most days.

Here’s my first take at a cheesy marketing slogan:

Who’s your burger shack?
Hoosier Burger Shack!


For market comparison purposes, here’s what $5 gets you from my Mexican friends. Homemade chips not pictured


My .02 -leave out the word “shack”.

Who’s your burger?
Hoosier Burger!

If you need to include the word “shack”, add a 3rd line.

When/if you get serious, do a poll in off topic, people here love to give their opinions, and they’re probably the type of client base you’re targeting.

edit to add: all that for $5? if it tastes good, no wonder they’re killing it!


I think I agree, leave out the shack part. Four syllables rolls off the tongue.

The taco meal is normally $7, which is still a great deal. Taco Tuesdays they drop it down to $5. They’re really good too, and you can do chicken or beef and choose rice or beans. Steak or pork is $1 extra. Everything they do is good. Small menu, maybe 7 items plus specials on most days. They do their own hot sauce too and it’s in my top 3 all-time favorites. It’s a gem.

If their space opened up I’d think about scooping it up. It’s perfect for what I’m envisioning.

Here’s the soft shell version, same special.

Here’s the loaded pork wet burrito special they do most weeks for $10.

Another occasional special, mini chicken or pork taco salad bowls with homemade cucumber salsa for $7.

Epic Nacho Plate for $8 or $9.

I love that place. Great owners too, the whole family works there even the gringo cop husband. Fuck it, it’s taco Tuesday. I’m calling my order in now!


Man, those pics belong in food porn.


Uh, it’s Wednesday.


Yep. I got tacos yesterday!


And I’m too lazy to look at the date posted, lol. Feel sorry for you opponent if you are rolling today.


No rolling, but I’m bouncing in a couple hours!


Hopefully there were no beans involved (rolling or no rolling). Those tacos look good enough to fly from Idaho for. Re burger place: shack is great idea, keeps overhead costs low. They have this great thing in Idaho where they have little pull up places where they sell coffee (I’ve moved around a bit and never seen these elsewhere and its really a thorn for Starbucks). btw your margin is in your fries and drinks so if you make it there you can afford to eat some $ in the burger. Just think: no ERP and no “significant” variations in AR line items to resolve…


(didn’t want to put crap in Spock’s thread)

Where did you come across the half your age plus 7 rule? I heard of this from a friend who claimed it was an Asian thing.


I honestly don’t know. I’d file it under “common knowledge” or just something you hear repeated enough.

She was 25. I’m 38. Not un-workable by itself, but it was clear we were on totally different wavelengths.


Doing the math, 55/2 =27.5+7=34.5.

I can date a 35 year old?

I’m in.

Are bouncing and rolling mutually exclusive? I’m sure you go to work hoping there is no rolling, and I suspect if you have to get physical, it won’t be rolling.

Nice food porn.


My buddy that’s 52 dates 20somethings. My neighbor who is 56-57 is married to a 30yo.
The girl at the grocery store is in her twenties and is married a 67 yo.
Sure you can date a 35 yo. Quetion is… would you really want to?


I’m thinking 28-33. I’m ready to raise more kids. I realize the window goes beyond that, but I’m also a pervert. Who knows though, I’m just after the right gal at this point.

Not entirely. I’ve rolled before bouncing before and just took it easier on the mats. It’s kind of hard to predict how sore and beat up you’ll be when you’re rolling all-out. Nothing like lifting where you know exactly how you’re going to feel. A lot of it depends on the positions you end up in and how hard you’re going. Half-speed rolling (aka “flow rolling”) is kinda like steady state cardio though. Takes a bit of mat time to moderate your effort like that, but it’s a great way to trai that doesn’t smoke you.

Ehhh, that’s sort of a half-truth. I can’t deny the fact that I get a lot of satisfaction by handling assholes, especially when I don’t hurt them (which is all the time lately) and still achieve the objective of removing them from the bar. They look dumb, I look like a middle school PE teacher handling prepubescent children. That’s usually how they act and that’s usually how the encounters play out. It tickles my lizard brain for sure.

I had to wrestle a very large woman who didn’t want to leave tonight. Probably close to three hundo. One of those really nice and pleasant gals who is a NASTY drunk. We’ve had problems with her many times before and I’ve suggested she be banned many times before, but tonight was the last straw for the entire staff. Total shitshow. I’m glad I was able to get her out without hurting her and I’m glad she didn’t end up in jail. She’s a very troubled lady but we just can’t have that in the bar. That wasn’t fun and I didn’t do anything fancy, just double underhooks from behind and out we go! I don’t really like putting hands on women like that, especially ones who have domestic violence issues at home. She needs to quit drinking and leave her abusive husband, but she also needed to leave the bar and refused to. I can only handle one of those problems.

Generally speaking, I do NOT want to take an encounter to the ground. I may put someone on the ground, but I don’t follow them there to do more jiu jitsu on them. That’s generally a bad tactical choice if you can avoid it, especially in a bar situation where drunks have buddies. Putting someone on the ground seems to be a pretty decisive fight/encounter ender when it comes to aggressive drunk people who want to challenge the bouncer. I don’t always do it, but it’s an option that’s always produced good outcomes.

Tonight, however, I had the former bouncer here 5 min after my shift started wanting to start a fight with a customer. I told him not to start fights. He talked a lot of shit to me and the bartender, but ultimately left when I told him to. This guy is about 6’2"-6’3", roughly my age and somewhere between 350 and 400 pounds. Not in good shape by any measure. Just huge and aggressive. Probably never been near a barbell in his life. Likes to clobber small people. Terrible bouncer. Total bully.

He was all pissy about me putting the kibosh on his plans for bar fight glory and threatened me several times. He even told me he’d be back with 10 friends (I don’t think he has 10 friends, and I doubt he’s got a single one that’s ready to go commit assault with him). That still doesn’t change the nature of the threat.

Back to the topic at hand, if he had come back and tried to force his way in, I would have definitely put him on the ground and mauled the shit out of him. My general strategy with a guy that size in a situation like that would be to stand firm at the door for a moment, then let him try to force past me. Let him get some forward momentum and that’s when judo magic can happen, or even a back-take. Lots of options when that much weight starts moving forward. Snap-downs or get an underhook and help him move forward with a side step and a trip. Slide down his body and grab a single leg. Who the fuck knows if any of it would work, but that was my plan. He’s not much of an athlete and he’s got no training, so I’d like to think I could find a way to put him on the ground.

At that point I’d look to take side control or mount with a fuck-ton of pressure and see if he wants to talk. That’s his chance to end the encounter gracefully. If not shit will get real with a guy that size who has issued those kind of threats. I’m very, very good at deranging shoulder joints and holding people nearly immobile while I do it. Beating the piss out of him is also a perfectly viable option when you’re in a dominant position on the ground that you know how to hold.

Can you tell I’m all keyed up? Helluva night tonight, and I’m not even covering all the shit that went down!

I put him on the permanent ban list tonight. He’s not going to like that. He might come back next week and start slugging at me, then we have a different game to play that hopefully starts with me not getting knocked out and getting to a clinch. Aside from coming in and acting like an asshole, we’ve now had multiple reports that he was grabbing women’s (mostly very young women’s) breasts, backsides and magic lady parts. One more reason he doesn’t need to be around.

He was a shitty bouncer too. I only worked one shift with him several years ago. It was a Halloween party and there were three, THREE of us working that night. A very minor scuffle broke out inside, I diffused it and told the guys to make space. 30-40 min later I ended up cutting one of the guys off and had this other bouncer see him outside. Sometime after that he ended up boxing the guy outside, who was a late 50 something guy who was wasted. I don’t care what he said, you don’t need to knock an old drunk man out just because he said mean things to you and wants to fight. ESPECIALLY when there’s 3 bouncers working.

That should have been a red flag there but they kept him on staff anyway. I talked to him about it and he played cool and said it wouldn’t happen again, blah blah blah. Once an asshole, always an asshole. Permaban now. Let’s see if he comes back next week. That’ll be interesting, and all cards of mine will be on the table the moment he tries to enter and the bartender will be calling the cops immediately.

Good times at the old dive bar!


Friday 1/25/19

BJJ 150 min

My instructor and I both had the afternoon free, so we made the drive down to Portland to train at his school. Open mat was first up, and I got to train with some of the area’s very best.

First up was a senior brown belt and former pro MMA fighter. He dominated me positionally, but only managed to submit me once in 5 min with an armbar. He was a lot smaller than me, maybe 170 or so, but lean, strong and fit. He just stuck to me like glue and I couldn’t get any escapes to work. Survival mode all the way. What I took most notice of is how he was glued to me in low mount, which allowed him to ride out my hips and stay stuck to me. He also had fantastic knee on belly that I couldn’t shuck off to get to a single leg. Same rank as my instructor, very different game. A great experience for me.

Next up was a 2nd degree black belt and also a former pro MMA fighter. This guy felt completely unlike anyone else I’ve ever rolled with. He just floated on me and didn’t use a lot of pressure, but took whatever I gave him and turned it into something that worked for him. He got me in an armbar too, but this was more like a flow-roll and I could tell that he was letting me advance, unlike the first guy. Smooth and effortless is how his game felt to me, and it was a wonderful experience.

Next up was a purple belt. I was able to make a few escapes on him and get on top a few times, but he still got the better of me overall during the round. He almost got me in some strange gi choke I’ve never had done to me before, but I was able to unwind it and stay safe. 5 min draw. I want more of this.

Next up was a white belt who is a younger crossfitter and pretty damn strong. He caught me in some kind of choke, I forget what it was. I spent most of the round on top, but he did a good job of keeping me in half-guard where I couldn’t really get much going. I had him in side control and I should have used more pressure, but I have it in my head to be nice to white belts. This guy could have taken the pressure and I should have given it to him, but oh well. It was a very instructive roll and he did a good job of keeping me in half guard and made some good escapes too. He’s a great match-up for me, no doubt. I definitely need to improve on my technical responses to half-guard.

Last up was the head instructor, and I went a round and a half with him. He’s a 4th degree black belt, former pro MMA fighter and an old-school Vale Tudo fighter. He’s a good 210-220 pounds and really damn strong too. He’s also coming off a surgery and one of his arms was in a sling. We started off with a couple min left on the clock. The first bell rang and I just kept going. One min break was over, that bell rang and we kept going. Stand back up and do it again. No way was I going to quit because of some stupid bell, not when I’m in the presence of greatness.

Even with one of his arms in a sling, I’ve never been dominated so completely. I’ve never felt the kind of soul-crushing pressure he brought. He tapped me four or five times, and at least two of those were to crushing neck and face pressure with his shin coupled with him yanking on my gi to make it even worse. It was a beautiful display of jiu jitsu, and one of my best experiences ever on the mat. I want more of that.

I don’t ever want to tap to pressure again, and to reach that goal I need to toughen up and make technical improvements. My instructor can dominate me with his eyes closed and without breaking a sweat, but I’ve never had my spirit crushed like how his instructor did to me tonight. 10/10. That’s jiu jitsu. It was an awe-inspiring display of pressure and discomfort, and I want to know how to do it. My instructor made me believe in his jiu jitsu, as he was taught by this man. This man made me rejoice in what is possible with human movement.

Class started off with safety positions when you’re in the closed guard. Here’s what I can remember.

The sequence starts with breaking their posture down by pulling on their neck with both of your hands. We were in the gi, so you open up the collar with your off-hand and use that space to feed your other hand into a deep collar grip. While you’re feeding your primary hand into a grip, you lace their other arm with your free arm and keep it immobilized on the ground. When they posture up to punch with their free hand, get your knee on the opposite side of the arm you’re controlling up into their armpit to stop the punches from landing hard. Then you let their arm go and feed your other hand into the opposite side of the collar for a simple choke with the space that’s made available by their movement.

Next up was the same basic sequence, but you keep the arm trapped and reach underneath their trapped arm’s armpit to grab on to the lapel and finish the choke. It’s the same basic idea as a sliding collar choke from back mount, but from the guard.

After that was a one-sided choke using knuckle pressure. Same sequence as before, but slide the grip down a bit, then get your knuckle right on their carotid. Lace your far-side leg over their arms, cross your feet and extend your legs as you’re applying that knuckle pressure to the carotid.

After that we looked at the same sequence, but you’re using your foot on the opposite side of the arm you’ve trapped to ride their bicep. When they rear back to either punch or free their arm, you lace your other foot around the bicep of the striking arm that you don’t already have trapped. From here you can let go of the arm that’s trapped and do a gorilla roll so the leg you just laced their arm with is on the ground. You settle your weight in and hook your toes so the arm stays trapped. From here you can control the free limb easily and inflict all manner of misery on your opponent.

We looked at another sequence very similar to the one I just mentioned, but after you lace their punching arm with your foot you stuff their head and swing your other leg around, kind of like a fast armbar. From here you can roll them again, make them lick their own butthole and attack either arm, both of which will be immobilized behind their back at this point.

The last option we looked at was if they posted a leg after you laced their arm with your foot. Stuff the head, get your other leg around it and then lace their knee with that same leg. Then roll back to mount and pick your poison.

The main take-away for me was the basic stuff at the beginning. Use your knee to make punching hard while trapping their other arm. Get your foot in the bicep to play a deeper game. Lace that same bicep with your other foot if they let you, but I’m not too worried about that yet. It’s wicked stuff, but I need to do the first few steps first before I’m going to get anyone in that sort of position.

After that they started prepping for MMA circuit training for a purple belt who is having his first pro MMA fight very soon. I’m not logging the details of that but it was a really cool thing to watch.

While everyone was getting ready for that I was chatting with the head instructor about bouncing. He’s been a bouncer since he was a teenager and I asked him what his go-to moves were. He’s of like mind with me and the goal is always staying safe, getting the rowdy ones out of the door and not hurting anyone.

The first thing he showed me was a simple tricep grab when you position yourself to their side and just behind them. This opens up all kinds of options. Russian tie, back-takes, punch blocks, and probably more that I’m failing to remember.

The next move he showed me I really liked. The basic idea is to stay behind the person and keep a grip on their hips, whichever side is farthest away from you. Next step is keeping your torso posted on the opposite side of the hip that you’re grabbing on to. This stops them from turning into you and keeps you on their back. The next element to add is gripping the wrist opposite side of the hip that you’re controlling with their other hand. Gentle at first, but strong if they get aggressive with it. If they turn towards the direction opposite of the wrist you’re holding, side-step and shift your grips. Other hand holds the other side hip, plant your torso and control the wrist. Back and forth, keep them moving forward, stop them from having a chance to hurt you.

I offered the man a $20 drop in fee but he refused it. That’s two classes he’s given me for free, along with some really great bouncer-specific personal training. I like this guy a LOT. I just had my second interview for a job in Portland, which will make training there viable for me since I can swing right over after work. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. There’s nobody else who is teaching jiu jitsu as a pure fighting art in the state, except my instructor who does it out of his home for free. That’s fantastic and I’ve gobbled up ever session he’s ever offered to me, but I would love to be training at his school 3 or 4 times per week.

There’s something about a room full of killers with severe cauliflower ear that makes my heart sing. I’m done playing make-believe jiu jitsu with hobbyists who train in belt factories. I’m not knocking it if that’s what they want to do, but I don’t particularly like the idea of training under a black belt who can’t submit me. You can’t teach self-defense if you can’t defend yourself. I want the real thing.


Tuesday 1/29/19

BJJ 60 Min

Just me and my instructor for some light rolling and a little bit of technique. I managed to get him in a good side clinch, which isn’t easy. I failed the knee-bump takedown because I lifted him too high, giving him the chance to evade my tripping knee and regain his footing. The detail I missed there is to lift him just enough to take away his footing and then drive him down and over my knee. I should have also followed that up with a Ko Uchi Gari or another throw tripping him forward that I can’t recall the name for right now. He ended up pummeling out of that and brought me to the ground, can’t recall how.

This is why I should log right after I train, not a day later after a long shift of bouncing.

The other detail we looked at was a review of high mount tactics, and why pinning limbs can give a skilled player a better chance to escape compared to defeating frames and getting my knees into their armpits. My instructor pins my limbs a lot, but he’s playing that game differently and from positions I’m never getting to, so I need to stick to the basics for now.

That’s it and that’s all. Fun night bouncing with lots of beautiful women out in the cold and snowstorm. Easy money!


Tuesday 2/5/19

BJJ 90 min

A young and athletic guy from the bar I bounce at followed through on his drunken agreement to come train. This is notable because he’s probably the 12th guy who’s told me he wants to train, but the first to actually come train. He played some college basketball, had some wrestling and had his pedal to the metal the whole night, so it was a lot of fun. He said he hadn’t trained before, but he’s obviously wrestled with someone who knows what they’re doing.

He taught me a lesson in being careless with new white belts, and never believing someone who says they don’t know anything. On our first roll I was just feeling him out and seeing what he did. He was chaining takedowns together pretty well, and managed to catch my leg in a trip. I just fell with it instead of resisting further and he started scrambling all over me in mount. We ended up in the corner of the room and I wasn’t being mindful of my frames and he caught me in an armbar. I could have gotten out, but it probably would have involved making a new hole in the wall since we were in a corner and my escape would have stacked him up in a bad spot that could have gotten him hurt or damaged the room. Nice job, new guy who doesn’t know anything about grappling. The armbar was there and he took it.

Our next few rolls went a little more predictably, although he did a good job being aggressive and working to beat my frames. He was way ahead of any other guy I’ve rolled with in their first jiu jitsu class. I never truly submitted him, but he was just tapping out once he got in a bad spot. I hope he comes back so we can teach him to deal with being on the bottom or having your back taken and not just tapping out because you don’t feel like you’re winning anymore. Dealing with pressure, discomfort and working your way out of bad spots is a core concept of jiu jitsu. Otherwise hats off to him for finishing an armbar on me and putting up a respectable fight in a room with two guys most people don’t like to roll hard with.

Technique for the night started with the importance of Side Control 1, which is a school-specific term to describe side control when your top elbow is planted on the far side of your opponent’s head and your bottom arm is controlling the near-side hip. This really limits options for movement, doesn’t require a lot of pressure and let’s you settle in to a controlling position without using a lot of gas. I do this well against lower belts, but for some reason when I get side control on my instructor my instinct is to go to side control 2, where I’m wrapping their whole upper torso up. He beats me on the far-side underhook every time, and this opens the door to his escape that can often end in a back-take for him. This can all be shut down by assuming side control 1 as soon as possible. Ideally this takes place in the moment between kuzushi and hitting the mat, or a guard pass, but that’s not always so easy to re-arrange your hands in that small space of time. Not impossible, but far from effortless. Still, I need to work on getting to that position in a timely manner before an escape can be achieved.

Next we looked at angles when standing to achieve a back-take or a good clinch. The key to this outcome is dominating the right arm. Some are left handed, but most aren’t, so right arm by default. If you’re controlling the wrist, the idea is to pull the wrist across their torso then close the distance and use your own torso pressure to keep their right arm. You can switch hands once you staple it or you can just clinch up and work a takedown. If they really suck the street choke is right there. Push them hard on their lower back/hip and punch your choking hand to the sky to open up their neck. Turn the corner to finish the choke or keep the pressure on their lower back and start walking backwards until their base gives out.

This also opens up options for takedowns from the clinch, but it’s another avenue to the street choke besides the standard arm drag. All other concepts still apply.

Great training tonight, and I hope our new buddy comes back for more. He’s game, he’s smart and his stand-up is great,. He’s a southern boy who probably learned plenty of wrestling without ever being on the wrestling team. He lives nearby so I gave him a ride and he really seemed to dig it on the ride home. The sad fact is that not many people want to train in a room where their ego’s don’t get stroked or at least coddled. He seemed to be cut from the right cloth to fit in well. We’ll see.


Bet the patrons in your bar jobs know you’re dangerous.