Ha, an extra goon sure would be helpful some nights. I do a good job denying entry. That’s always gone well and never resulted in a fight. Well, not when they are denied entry when they first arrive. I’ve denied re-entry a few times that didn’t go over so well. The key for me is to be polite and firm. I’m not sure I have your brother’s wit and charm and I don’t think anyone’s felt blessed if I don’t let them in, but I’m glad to get by on whatever diplomatic skills I have.
Things get hard to handle when I have to put hands on someone, which is what happens if they don’t want to leave, refuse to put their drink down and the discussion has gone on for more than a minute or so. That one minute or so is my internal politeness timer for a drunk person to process what’s happening, realize I’m serious and walk out under their own power. Things don’t get hard to handle because of that one guy, either. I can control any one person, or at least 99 percent of them, fairly easily. It’s what I call THE SWARM that’s a problem.
The swarm happens when people see a struggle, then a bunch of guys rush in to intervene. One of the things I hated about the guy who was working Wednesdays before me is that he’d just start clobbering people, which is the main (but not only) reason he’s not a bouncer anymore. Some people might assume I’m that type of bouncer too, and I can’t necessarily fault them for that. They don’t understand that a rear naked choke is just a control mechanism, let alone notice that I broke someones fall as I took them down so they didn’t hit the floor too hard.
They just see a struggle that their buddy is losing and assume I’m trying to hurt their friend. I never want to hurt anyone, but I might be putting them on their ass, controlling their arm in a Russian tie as I walk them out, or just tying them up from behind. Members of THE SWARM get in my way, try to peel my grip off of a guy, or get in between me and the guy I’m just trying to move out the door. This all makes the task at hand a lot harder than it needs to be.
Having some goon who could shoo those pests away and let me get the asshole out of the door would be wonderful, but I end up navigating the situation anyway and there haven’t been any bad outcomes lately, and never any that I had any real power to prevent.
It’s definitely more fun than configuring, maintaining and implementing ERP software, just doesn’t pay nearly as well!