T Nation

Do Bad Mother's Deserve a Mother's Day


#1

Again I can't bring myself to even phone my Mother on Mother's Day. I have zero fond memories of my childhood. I can't remember ever thinking of my Mother in a special way.

I left home at the ripe age of thirteen. That should say a thing or two about either my Mother or me.

Anyone else have messed up emotions about Mother's Day!


#2

I’m not going to go into the details of my family life but I’ll say that I can definitely empathize. No, bad mothers don’t deserve affection just because it’s mother’s day.


#3

My husband will call his mom on mother’s day and her birthday, but he won’t tell her he loves her because he doesn’t. There’s no hate anymore, just indifference, he tolerates her because of his brothers and because she’s our son’s grandmother but that’s as far as it goes.

Some people don’t understand because they can’t imagine having a really shitty parent. I’ll just leave it at that.


#4

No, bad mothers don’t get mother’s day.

Perhaps you recall my ‘Naughty Parents’ thread from a year or so ago Stream?


#5

I’m lucky enough to have a great mom, but both my parents have/had screwed up parents, my mom moved into her first apartment at 16, and my dad was basically raising his younger siblings from 14 on, it is beyond me how they managed to come out normal, and then find a mate with a just as screwed up family.

My dad pretty much only talks to his mom at christmas,thanksgiving,easter,her birthday.

My mom saw her mom maybe 3 times over the last 10 years of her life, the woman was a mess, all my cousins were crying at the funeral when the 6 of us carried out the casket, yet i felt nothing, it was really odd.


#6

lets ask this bad mother


#7

i couldnt imagine having bad parents, i feel really sorry for all that do


#8

[quote]eric_lacrosse wrote:
No, bad mothers don’t get mother’s day.

Perhaps you recall my ‘Naughty Parents’ thread from a year or so ago Stream?[/quote]

I most certainly do. Kind of comforting in a sad way, to know you’re not alone. Break the cycle chain.


#9

Well. I have a similar ‘relationship’ with my father. We only talk seldom (he lives in an apartment and has another family). So I can relate in a way.

Having said that, if she been a bad mother, no she doesn’t need to be talked to just because it’s mother’s day.


#10

No, they don’t.

Of course, I may be bitter because the only “Holidays” I observe are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Everything else can suck it dry, Trebek.


#11

HELL NO. I can relate to the OP. I was on the streets at 15. I have a better relationship with my mother these days, but that’s only if I ignore all the rage.


#12

[quote]SSC wrote:
the only “Holidays” I observe are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.[/quote]

That’s two more holidays than I observe…


#13

Is this a “Who had the worst childhood” thread? OH BOY! Can I?

My dad would get drunk and beat my brother and I with a 2X4 sawed in half down the middle. He actually broke it over my back once. Once he pissed in my bed and made me sleep in it. He used to pick me up by my throat and pin me against the wall until I turned blue. One time I threw a bunch of golf balls all over the yard and he made me pick them all up. One of them was by the rosebush, as I leaned over to pick it up he kicked my ass right into the rose bush. When I was three he opened up a gash on my right cheek with his belt, I still have the scar. He broke a chessboard over my head. He purposely starved us for days. He would handcuff me to the bathroom door for hours at a time. He would wake us up at three AM and make us stand at his bedroom door for an hour straight. He tried to strangle me with a wire clothes hanger while I was asleep. He once beat my brother and I ALL DAY and when I mean all day, I mean at every hour he would come in our room to beat us with a broomstick. He would choke me for no reason at all. He had real big hands, and his hand would fit around my entire neck. He seemed to relish in this fact and treated my neck like his stress toy.

I hate my dad. That piece of shit deserved to die. I love my mom.


#14

[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Is this a “Who had the worst childhood” thread? OH BOY! Can I?

My dad would get drunk and beat my brother and I with a 2X4 sawed in half down the middle. He actually broke it over my back once. Once he pissed in my bed and made me sleep in it. He used to pick me up by my throat and pin me against the wall until I turned blue. One time I threw a bunch of golf balls all over the yard and he made me pick them all up. One of them was by the rosebush, as I leaned over to pick it up he kicked my ass right into the rose bush. When I was three he opened up a gash on my right cheek with his belt, I still have the scar. He broke a chessboard over my head. He purposely starved us for days. He would handcuff me to the bathroom door for hours at a time. He would wake us up at three AM and make us stand at his bedroom door for an hour straight. He tried to strangle me with a wire clothes hanger while I was asleep. He once beat my brother and I ALL DAY and when I mean all day, I mean at every hour he would come in our room to beat us with a broomstick. He would choke me for no reason at all. He had real big hands, and his hand would fit around my entire neck. He seemed to relish in this fact and treated my neck like his stress toy.

I hate my dad. That piece of shit deserved to die. I love my mom.[/quote]

And now your the man with the most frightening avatar on the internetz…


#15

[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Is this a “Who had the worst childhood” thread? OH BOY! Can I?

My dad would get drunk and beat my brother and I with a 2X4 sawed in half down the middle. He actually broke it over my back once. Once he pissed in my bed and made me sleep in it. He used to pick me up by my throat and pin me against the wall until I turned blue. One time I threw a bunch of golf balls all over the yard and he made me pick them all up. One of them was by the rosebush, as I leaned over to pick it up he kicked my ass right into the rose bush. When I was three he opened up a gash on my right cheek with his belt, I still have the scar. He broke a chessboard over my head. He purposely starved us for days. He would handcuff me to the bathroom door for hours at a time. He would wake us up at three AM and make us stand at his bedroom door for an hour straight. He tried to strangle me with a wire clothes hanger while I was asleep. He once beat my brother and I ALL DAY and when I mean all day, I mean at every hour he would come in our room to beat us with a broomstick. He would choke me for no reason at all. He had real big hands, and his hand would fit around my entire neck. He seemed to relish in this fact and treated my neck like his stress toy.

I hate my dad. That piece of shit deserved to die. I love my mom.[/quote]

If i were in your position, i cannot say that i wouldnt have killed him in his sleep.


#16

[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Is this a “Who had the worst childhood” thread? OH BOY! Can I?

My dad would get drunk and beat my brother and I with a 2X4 sawed in half down the middle. He actually broke it over my back once. Once he pissed in my bed and made me sleep in it. He used to pick me up by my throat and pin me against the wall until I turned blue. One time I threw a bunch of golf balls all over the yard and he made me pick them all up. One of them was by the rosebush, as I leaned over to pick it up he kicked my ass right into the rose bush. When I was three he opened up a gash on my right cheek with his belt, I still have the scar. He broke a chessboard over my head. He purposely starved us for days. He would handcuff me to the bathroom door for hours at a time. He would wake us up at three AM and make us stand at his bedroom door for an hour straight. He tried to strangle me with a wire clothes hanger while I was asleep. He once beat my brother and I ALL DAY and when I mean all day, I mean at every hour he would come in our room to beat us with a broomstick. He would choke me for no reason at all. He had real big hands, and his hand would fit around my entire neck. He seemed to relish in this fact and treated my neck like his stress toy.

I hate my dad. That piece of shit deserved to die. I love my mom.[/quote]

Wow, just wow. I have a friend who caught his dad raping his sister, and got the shit kicked out of himself for intervening. I thought that was the worst thing I had heard.

You and your mom should have played the ‘burning bed’ joke on him. How did he die? Have you had the pleasure of pissing on his grave?


#17

[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Is this a “Who had the worst childhood” thread? OH BOY! Can I?

My dad would get drunk and beat my brother and I with a 2X4 sawed in half down the middle. He actually broke it over my back once. Once he pissed in my bed and made me sleep in it. He used to pick me up by my throat and pin me against the wall until I turned blue. One time I threw a bunch of golf balls all over the yard and he made me pick them all up. One of them was by the rosebush, as I leaned over to pick it up he kicked my ass right into the rose bush. When I was three he opened up a gash on my right cheek with his belt, I still have the scar. He broke a chessboard over my head. He purposely starved us for days. He would handcuff me to the bathroom door for hours at a time. He would wake us up at three AM and make us stand at his bedroom door for an hour straight. He tried to strangle me with a wire clothes hanger while I was asleep. He once beat my brother and I ALL DAY and when I mean all day, I mean at every hour he would come in our room to beat us with a broomstick. He would choke me for no reason at all. He had real big hands, and his hand would fit around my entire neck. He seemed to relish in this fact and treated my neck like his stress toy.

I hate my dad. That piece of shit deserved to die. I love my mom.[/quote]

That’s some fucked up shit dude, I hope you manage to break the chain.

That’s why I will never lay a hand on a child, for any reason, period! I see or hear about shit like that and I die a little more inside. Stay strong.


#18

[quote]eric_lacrosse wrote:
Wow, just wow. I have a friend who caught his dad raping his sister, and got the shit kicked out of himself for intervening. I thought that was the worst thing I had heard.
[/quote]

My sister was raped by my uncle. The whole family denies it like it never happened, but they all know… It’s so fucking gross. I remember the last time I spoke to him I wanted to kill him, but he is a beloved treasure in our fuked up family because he has had a job with Boeing…

Fuck him. My sister told me some sick shit about that man. He is a fucking pig.

My dad died in a hotel room all alone. He suffocated on his own vomit from being a drunk piece of shit. I was 14. I didn’t cry at his funeral. That man put me, my brother though hell… I hated that man and I hate him still… I soooooo needed a dad… and he just couldn’t get off the bottle for his own children. Fuck you Dan. Fuck you.He tried being cool with me the last month of his life… But I didn’t know him. How can I love a man that did so much nasty shit to me and my brother…

I laughed at his funeral.


#19

[quote]force of one wrote:
HELL NO. I can relate to the OP. I was on the streets at 15. I have a better relationship with my mother these days, but that’s only if I ignore all the rage.[/quote]

much the same story here.

I will however go out of my way to say happy mothers day or birthday or whatever to the kind woman that took me in when I was younger.

I have much more affection and respect for my best friends mother than I do my own.


#20

[quote]MaddyD wrote:
force of one wrote:
HELL NO. I can relate to the OP. I was on the streets at 15. I have a better relationship with my mother these days, but that’s only if I ignore all the rage.

much the same story here.

I will however go out of my way to say happy mothers day or birthday or whatever to the kind woman that took me in when I was younger.

I have much more affection and respect for my best friends mother than I do my own.
[/quote]

My younger brother was fortunate enough to spend the last two years of his life with a friends awesome mother. He was so happy at the end. He died of a brain aneurysm at seventeen. It made me sick how my mother put on such a show of affection at the hospital and funeral.

I would latter in life learn from my Dad. At a time of attempted reconciliation (I got him drunk). How my mother treated my brother during the first years of his life. Not physical abuse but psychological abuse.

The really fucked up part was she only did it to my younger brother and I. My older and youngest brother love the very ground my mother walks on. My sister still won’t open up about her experiences.

My friends always look at me like I’m nuts. When I give twenty dollars to a homeless teenager. It just kills me inside when I see them out there struggling to survive. In the safest place they know. The streets of ever city in the world!