T Nation

Divorce and Powerlifting


#1

Wife asked me if I was willing to save our marriage on Friday. This didn't come as a surprise as we've been faking it for quite some time and neither has been happy. Anyway, probably no need to get into the details, but after 18 years, several years of counseling and her unchanged behavior (violent rage) I'm done.

Those who've been through a divorce, how did you fare with lifting? It's been hard to get to the gym b/c of lack of motivation with the dark cloud over my head, but once there and warmed up I'm happy that I went.

People say that gains are a function on nutrition, training, recovery, and that stress can sap your recovery.

Any pointers appreciated.


#2

I don’t know if you have children to consider or how the asset shit is going… You were certainly married a lot longer than me, so your situation may be quite different. For me it was very simple. Being in a bad marriage, or any long term bad relationship is stressful though. What you need to do is view this divorce as a solution to that stress. You are removing that stress from your life, and you will feel better for it in time. To be frank, after I was finally free I saw a huge surge in my powerlifting numbers.

Also, it’s a proven scientific fact that, on average, men in long term relationships have lower test levels; so enjoy those gains :wink:


#3

I’m currently going through divorce, with a 22 month old son, and it was pretty draining for me the first few months. Getting back on my feet now, all my ducks in a row again.

I think the biggest thing for me was to just accept that it’s gonna suck at times, and the only way through to better times is to grind it out, one day at a time, until I start having fun again.


#4

Are you considering how much a divorce will affect your gains in whether or not to do it?

I’d imagine the financial hit (lawyers, etc.) may cause some stress elsewhere.