It reminded me of American Psycho.
I’m allergic to water. =/ It’s the equivelant of being constantly stung by mosquitoes for 15 minutes straight (with the occasional horsefly).
The only way to reduce it even slightly is taking a cold shower, window open, washing my face and hair making sure I don’t get any water on my body, soaping up without water on the body in the first place in about 10 seconds, rinsing off in 5, drying and running the fuck out of the bathroom in 2. This all goes on in New Hampshire, when the morning temperature reaches freezing in August.
I’m glad I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment, I stink like high hell. I do hope this will go away soon.
Jesus that was off topic…
[quote]Vash wrote:
Bah.
I sit in classes all day not hittin’ on da ladies - my first class, all the chicks are super-manly. Second class, freshman - the not so fresh kind. Third class, too much smarter and more athletically good than me. Forth class, I’m trying to nail the Professor - she’s a 6.7 out of 10, but fuck, I’m failing.
[/quote]
I laughed so hard i almost spit my drink on my keyboard when i read this
[quote]etaco wrote:
It reminded me of American Psycho.[/quote]
Yea. For a second I thought that’s what it was. still creepy.
This is most definitely a satire piece. Be watching for all the metros to slowly start getting scruffy and wearing flannel shirts. Pretty soon it will be cool to be a lumberjack.
[quote]lothario1132 wrote:
This is most definitely a satire piece. Be watching for all the metros to slowly start getting scruffy and wearing flannel shirts. Pretty soon it will be cool to be a lumberjack.[/quote]
What are you talking about? It’s always cool to be a lumberjack.
[quote]Massif wrote:
What are you talking about? It’s always cool to be a lumberjack. [/quote]
Unless it’s the flower-pressing, high heels-wearing one from Monty Python.
[quote]lothario1132 wrote:
This is most definitely a satire piece. Be watching for all the metros to slowly start getting scruffy and wearing flannel shirts. Pretty soon it will be cool to be a lumberjack.[/quote]
Sounds like grunge. Maybe they will add more color to the flannel.
[quote]lothario1132 wrote:
Massif wrote:
What are you talking about? It’s always cool to be a lumberjack.
Unless it’s the flower-pressing, high heels-wearing one from Monty Python.
[/quote]
oh no, because that lumberjack lumberjacked all day and hung around in gay bars all night.
That means he could still kick your ass. With high heels. Ouch. 
[quote]wesstangl wrote:
lothario1132 wrote:
This is most definitely a satire piece. Be watching for all the metros to slowly start getting scruffy and wearing flannel shirts. Pretty soon it will be cool to be a lumberjack.
Sounds like grunge. Maybe they will add more color to the flannel.
[/quote]
Yaaaaay!! Pastel plaid!
Props to Phat Phree. The origional Thread reminded me of this.
La’
Redsol1
Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I?m coming home with some pussy tonight! That?s right! It?s been a long week at the office and it?s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say ?Junior Vice President? on them! They?re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!
My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too!
I figure we?ll kick off the night with some Golden Tee! I am going to smack the shit out of that little white ball! It?s going to be so fucking loud! I?ll bet I can drive that pretend golf ball 600 fucking yards tonight! I?m that fucking pumped!
I can almost taste those Jager Bombs right now! I fucking love Red Bull! I put it on my God damned cereal! I?m crushing one right now!
I?m thinking about buying a boat this year!
I?m gonna fight someone tonight! I pray to God someone makes eye contact with me! I will beat his ass! And God help him if he gets any blood on my striped shirt! If he does, I?ll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it!
I?m gonna grind on girls asses tonight! You heard me! When I see a group of girls dancing in a circle, I will select the most attractive one and dry hump her until it hurts! I will rub my cock against her so that she can feel my throbbing hard on!
Party Fuel
I will valet tonight!
I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to ?Take it easy on the brakes, Champ?!
I will talk to people I don?t know about my job tonight! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female bartenders ?Babe? and male bartenders ?Chief?!
When I do not hook up with a girl at that club, I will say that the place is ?full of skanks?! We will wait in a long line to go to another bar only to strike out again!
I will give up and decide to order a gyro off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my gyro because people will be able to tell by my striped shirt and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a gyro!
I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two big girls who are also ordering gyros to coming back to my place for ?after hours?! When they say no I will make fun of them for being fat! I will leave!
When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself!
I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I?ll be ready to fucking party again tomorrow!
That post was some of the most gay shit I have ever read. Scratch that, gay guys aren’t that bad. Who wrote that, Tom Cruise? It is obviously satire, but it still made my skin crawl with its level of Testosterone-sucking ability. Metrosexuals piss me off. Anti-men is what I call them.