T Nation

Dispersed Assbeating

A few nights ago one of my friends (a cop) turned 25, so we went out to celebrate. For the most part we all had a good time, got fairly toasted, and I even met a very sexy young lady:-)
However at one point during the evening, I noticed a bouncer come over to one of my friends and seem to kinda seperate him from somebody else then give him a little lecture. By the time I could make it over to him through the crowded dance floor the bouncer was gone and everything was cool… I thought. I noticed a couple of dickjaws giving me the shit eye a few times during the night but no more than usual. Anyway, last call came an went. We all did one last birthday shot for my buddy, I got sexy girls #, it turned out to be nice night…I thought.

As we’re all walking to our cars, my friend who had the brief altercation inside noticed the guy he had words with. “Hey it’s the guy from inside”, he said in as non-threatening a tone as possible. “You wanna say something?” the angry guy replied while simultaneously throwing a VERY solid punch right into my unsuspecting friends face, splitting his upper lip all the way to his nosrtil. Now I saw this and while I was definitely less than happy, I figured 2 things.

  1. If this guy hits my friend while he’s down after sneaking him, I’m jumping in.

  2. If he lets my friend get up and they wanna shoot it out, then that’s fine.

Clearly the alcohol and kisses from sexy girl had me intoxicated to think that it would be that simple. In a matter of seconds I’m watching a good 3-4 guys take turns running up on my frined (who is hanging on to his original assalant with one hand and swinging with the other) and cracking him in the head.

Now I’m hope to fucking god that anyone reading this is saying, “WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOUR FRIENDS?” Well lets see, our cop friend was trying to break it up but only by saying he’s cop and to STOP! Didn’t work. Another “friend” was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! Which left moi and one other guy, who stood there frozen as though he had never thrown a punch at another man in his life. FUCK!

Well, I did what any real friend would do. Got a running start and burried a disgusting crossover side kick right into one of the attackers ribs, sending his ass skimming across the blacktop to where he lay there wriggling around like a little fucking worm in the hot noon sun. As I proceded to stomp this worm, numerous blows rained on the back of my head. I got into it with another guy and worm boy was dragged off by his friends (so I was told) and put in a car that left quickly. Luckily, my friend was now back on his feet and only fighting the orginal guy who hit him. Even more luckily, the guy I was having it out with and I came to an agreement that neither of us wanted to fight anymore as we could both hear the cops comming.

In the end, my friend and three other guys got locked up for the night. Ironically, I had to sit with the other guys I was fighting with (-1) and wait to get our friends out of jail. Both sides agree that nobody even knows what the fight was about, and that as far as we’re concerned it’s done. Now how’s that for fucking idiotic?

Sounds like a typical Saturday night. Guys like to fight over the most insignificant things when we get tipsy.

“Well, I did what any real friend would do. Got a running start and burried a disgusting crossover side kick right into one of the attackers ribs, sending his ass skimming across the blacktop to where he lay there wriggling around like a little fucking worm in the hot noon sun”

one of the coolest lines ever!

props for getting your friends back. nothing worse than a friend who stands there while his buddy gets his ass beat by more than one guy.

Jersey, gotta love it!

Friends don’t let friends get their asses beat…I’d be proud to have a friend like you…good job wideguy…what part of Jersey was this…I’m a stones throw over here in Philly

Got to commend you on your standup actions. To me thats the test of a true friendship, being prepared to put your arse on the line for a mate.

Suprised at your cop friend though, would have thought he would have got stuck in straight away.

Dickjaws, I love that! As P-dog said, you have a sense for poetic verse. Only thing is, there’s no non-aggresive way to say “Hey, it’s that guy from inside…”(paraphrasing) Who cares anyway, sounds like the guy needed more of an assbeating than it sounds like he got and especially his quick to jump in friends. Cowards.

"1. If this guy hits my friend while he’s down after sneaking him, I’m jumping in.

  1. If he lets my friend get up and they wanna shoot it out, then that’s fine.
    "

you guys should have fucked him up immediately, as soon as he hit your friend. no need to wait (?). might have stopped it earlier. seems like the guys you went up against had no cares or worries of jail, and on the other hand you guys really didnt want to get in trouble. thats when it gets dangerous though. alot of people freeze.

quick example, one on one fight at a basketball court (A vs B), A has more friends, they all step in, beat the fuck out of B then start working on B’s friends, because none of them jumped in. ok so they beat all of B’s asses, it ends there right? no, one of these guys went into his car, came back, and shot the dude who got his ass wooped. then they all fled, guy only sufferred minor wound… but this is the mentality… it is very fucked up.

in the moment though i know its not that simple, good job beating this guys ass. :slight_smile:

peace

This is very interesting…besides being a graduate student, i also bounce on the side at a very popular bar. It’s actually two bars in one, pass through in the middle. However, the owner thought it would be really cool to have a fireman’s pole on the one side. Needless to say, some asshole always tries to climb it or jumps from the balcony surrounding the damn thing. We had a gentleman try it last night, he made it up but paid the price when he came down. The other bouncer and i dragged him out and threw the doors, the doors were closed so we used his head to open them. I dont mind getting physical with someone who gets out of line, but it makes for a much easier and more pleasant night for me and everyone else at the bar when everybody just gets drunk and is melo.

Congrats on assisting your friend.

Paulie(love the name BTW) what part of Philly are you in bro? I live right in south Jersey,I’m sure you have heard of Marlton/Cherry Hill?

Been in a ton of fights like that with my Ranger buddies. We would usually let the two duke it out, but we always tried to beat the other guy’s friends asses. Just something about seeing a fight that makes me wanna get in there and thrash someone. RLTW

rangertab75

Ranger tab,

Are you really a 3rd Bat boy?

xMillertimex -

Yes. RLTW

rangertab75

Dave876,
Yes I know where you’re at I’m in N.E. Philly not to far from the Tacony Br.

Can you guys wear the black tanks yet?
Or is that still a “Hollywood” thing?

Cwick- “This is very interesting…besides being a graduate student, i also bounce on the side.”

-I thought I was the only one!
Actually, I’m not working at the moment as I’m trying to break into the club scene here in NYC. Don’t want to work in any shitty places anymore.
But, since they are more desirable positions, its tougher to get a club job.

Ha ha. How about being a grad student in physics and being a doorman. Confuses the hell out of the kids you’re TAing… : )

rangertab75

What kind of fool is gonna go get in a fight with a freaking ranger? One of my Sgt Inst. at training was marine recon and even he spoke very highly of rangers.

i used to lift with my physics TA, he had a tattoo of the schrodenger(sp?) wave equation in the middle of his back.

when i party i always roll 5 deep and keep a hockey stick in the trunk if things get outta hand

xMillertimex -

I know you are prior service, but what were you in? When did you get out? I know we disagreed in previous posts, but after discovering you were prior service I began to pay attention to you and respect your opinions. Sorry if I disrespected you in previous threads. RLTW

rangertab75