T Nation

Discouraged, Need Some Help


I am so disgusted lately. Heres the story, i am a sophmore in college, i try to train hard and pretty much my whole life revolves around lifting whether its strongman, bodybuilding, powerlifting, olympic lifting, who cares i love weights being thrown around. I get so discouraged when i go to the gym and see "those" people who dont know what the fuck their doing, fuckin train like frat boys, bench 5 times a week, never squat, never deadlift, never train hard, and what really gets me is seeing "those" people who are bigger and stronger than me?

I ask myself what the hell am i doing wrong? should i just fucking quit? Do i just need to be patient? any comments i would really appreciate, and if you have anything bad to say please spare me i am really bothered by this shit and discouraged, just wanted to hear some friendly motivation, if you dont want to motivate or if you think im just a fuckin idiot please dont respond,, thanks for everything guys,


Don't compare your progress to others that may be more genetically gifted or juicing or who knows what.

Don't judge some else by only what you see in the gym. They may be doing other things as well.

I checked your profile and you look like you lift.

Keep training, set goals and try to meet them.


Don't worry about it man...like Zap said, you don't see everything they do, you don't know what type of training plan they have.

I see it too, 1 guy and his friend are always doing curls, but this kid is huge. Maybe he physically matured very young, so when he was lifting for HS football he got big. I look at pictures of my dad, and he didn't really get big (6'3" 240lbs 11 or 12% BF) until he was about 28. At 25 when he got married, he was 6'2" 195 and was lifting.

Everyone's different, if I'm anything like my dad, I can't wait till I'm 28 and 6'6" 270.


Don't worry about what other people are doing. This just causes distraction and frustration. Focus on your training, nutrition, and learning, and be patient. You may never be the strongest guy in the world, but if you stick with it you will be bigger and stronger then you are now and probably most people.

Take care,



This is the first part of what I wanted to say, no need to type it again.

There are things you can't control and once you get over that you will be happier. Don't assume these people aren't willing to do things you aren't though. Next time you aren't really hungy or want some crappy food remember that guy who you envy a bit in the gym and think "Joe Blow wouldn't eat this crap, he's eating steak and potatoes trying to leave me in the dust" It's mental man, maximize what you have control over, food recovery training, and then make it consistent over time. You will do fine in this game if you start worrying more about stringing together 100 positive workouts and 1000 positive meals together rather than what the guy next to you in the gym does.


This is a motivating post by Dante of DC fame that I like to show people(like me sometimes) who are feeling a little down every once in awhile about this stuff.

I get alot of emails & hear alot of personal stories from guys that are bummed out, depressed, feeling like they won't ever be that bodybuilder they want to become. I also see some personal accounts on these boards & I want to respond to some of the guys who are 140 to 210lbs & are really trying in bodybuilding but that I see are giving up hope. DON'T EVER FUCKING DOUBT YOURSELF! DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING DOUBT YOURSELF!

If you put your nose to the grindstone & be persistent, consistent, & driven my promise to you is that you will make it to a very elite bodybuilder in the not to distant future. I went 3.5 years once without missing a meal (6 a day) --if I did miss a meal I set my alarm clock at 3am & got up even when I was dead tired & cooked it & ate it. If you really want this bad, & have that "I'm going to get this shit done" attitude, I guarentee you that youll end up where you want.

Will you be a pro? No and neither will 99.99% of everyone else out there. But if you push the limits & do what I have been trying to do with everyone for the last 4.5 years on the net (turn yourself into a fat burning, muscle building, blast furnace) you will get there.
I am no-one special but I had people calling me "stickboy" & laughing how skinny I was in the beginning when I told them I was "trying to become a bodybuilder" with my ever present shopping bag with all my meals in it so I could eat every 2.5 hours. Screw those people!

Guess who kisses my ass now when I go back to my old home town on the East Coast & go into my old gym. I don't want to see anyone in this forum thinking "man I'm never going to make something out of myself as a bodybuilder" BULLSHIT!!!! Yes you will & don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Prove them wrong. Pick the bodyweight you know you need to be at & eat up to that bodyweight while doing cardio & carb cuttoffs to keep lean. Eat like a massive 300lb monster & cardio like a guy who is 8% & your going to end up at 250 jacked!

This is your life, don't listen to those people doubting you, they are going nowhere themselves & want to keep you at their level. Shore up all holes in your regimen. Training, supplementation, diet, sleep, stretching, consistency in all of those is the key. There is no doubt in my mind that I can turn anyone (& I mean anyone) into something special if they are willing to be meticulous, steadfast, & stay the course 100%.

Alot of you keep jumping around & doing different things but if you really sit back in your chair & think it all out--YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO DO! Almost every single guy reading this right now can turn themselves into one of the 5 best bodybuilders in their gym. DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! I had a pack of friends when I was 20 years old I used to hang with. They dwarfed me. I had by far the worst genetics but I had 50 times the willpower of those guys.

One was muscular & naturally shredded, one had incredible genetics & looked like a bodybuilder anyway but when he lifted he got pretty incredible looking, one was 250lbs & a big monster with very limited lifting (lazy), one had slightly better genetics than me & he was also pretty determined. I bypassed all of them in spades, every single one of them because I have a "no fucking way am I going to fail" drive to this sport.

The next time you look in the mirror & doubt yourself & get bummed out because your not where you want to be, I want you to remember this post. If you want something bad enough and go at it with the best of your abilities & smarts, you might not become the best, or pro, or top of the class at it, but you will become PRETTY DAMN INCREDIBLE at it, because of your fortitude & hard work.

Don't let any son of a bitch tell you otherwise--this is your life-Get in that freaking powerack, make that logbook your bitch AND GET IT DONE!


Scott, that post totally kicked ass...


Dante is the man, people are doing themselves a disservice if they don't check out what he has to say at some point.


Your profile pics show that you've put in some time with diet and exercise. If you're not happy with the results then from what I can see it looks like you probably need to go on a bulk. Try posting your workout and diet, I'm sure you'll get plenty of feedback.


man thanks to every single one of you guys, thank you so fuckin much, i am making progress right now and i am up to a bodyweight of 204 so im pleased and im right on track, it just gets me frustrated sometimes and it feels good to hear other people that have the same frustrations and fight through them, i really thank you guys for your support and thanks for everything, my training right now consists of ,

monday-bench 10x3, incline flyes, trying to get stronger, my chest is my weak link

tuesday- t-bar rows, bent over barbell rows, chainsaws, pulldowns, pullups (alternate pulldowns and pullups)

wednesday-deadlifts(no belt, no straps), squats, as deep as i can go, and farmers walks with 100 pound dumbells in each hand,

thursday-overhead standing barbell presses, side lateral raises, and rear delt raises,

fri, sat, sun, are rest and eat, i sometimes throw in a small bodyweight session of dips, pullups, pushups etc on weekends

my diet right now is i get in about 3600 to 4000 calories a day, not always the best food but never candy bars or sweets,

thank you guys again so much for everything keep training and if you have any stories or transformations you want to share this is the place to feel free , id love to hear or see what all you guys have accomplished


man thank you for that post with the motivational stuff, that is the shit i appreciate it


bro what is your routine and diet like? It seems to me that you have balance, but just need to fill out.

How much Pro, Carbs and Fat grams per day are you consuming?


That's why I save that sort of thing my man. Everyone needs a little kick in the ass sometimes and D knows just how to do it.


well im back on track, training hard and feeling good about myself, my numbers are starting to go up a bit on bench since ive been doing the 10x3 lately, i need some ideas for back though, i usually do dumbell rows, t-bar rows, and bent over barbell rows, then finish with some heavy pulldowns, im getting burnt out on this really but dont know what to do differently because these lifts are the ones that have brought me this far any ideas would be appreciated


I can't recommend rack chins enough to people.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM-b4qOOWsE

Description: strap up to the bar at your widest grip, your ass is always lower than your feet, even at the very top, on the way up arch your back and on the way down flare your lats outward and round your back a little while you kind of (kind of) lean backwards--on the way down your lats should hurt slightly because they are flared---here try this (do a double bicep pose while sitting at your desk reading this--while doing it bring your elbows slightly forward and flare your lats outward as hard as you can....feel that? feels like they are going to cramp doenst it?

thats what you want to try to do on the negative phase--- -at the very bottom with your lats flared--go for an extra inch of stretch by letting your shoulders raise upward and pushing into the stretch--then steadily explode up to the bar--for the static all you do is go down the bottom and stretch and flare your lats and lean backward slightly with that barbell in your lap--it will be freaking excruciating.

You make 10 seconds your mortal, you make 20 seconds you are a god, you make 30 seconds and your an android.......alternatively you could do some short reps at the bottom but i think the stretch method works best in this case. The next day after youve done 15-20 reps rest paused of rack chins--lean over slightly and pull on a doorknob with your lat, Id be very surprised if you didnt whisper "oh my god" from the soreness.

Warming up and then hitting 1-2 sets of rack chins to failure around 10-15 reps. T Bar rows using the 1 1/2 technique, pull up into the gut back down half way, back up to the gut and all the way. Working up to heaviest 1-2 sets of 6-10. Rack Deadlifts done at just below knee level working up to heaviest 2 sets, one in the 10-12 range the other 6-8.


ur training against urself, not others. for the most part, bodybuilding is about improving yourself.


I'm one of the strongest dudes at my gym and people are always asking me for advice. So heres what I can tell you.

The big secret is there IS no secret man.

I'm only 18. Been lifting for 4 1/2 years. I learn by the week it seems. You should too.

If I were You I'd take scott's adivice. Don't quit.

Plus "THOSE PEOPLE" are only stronger then you in one exercise. Whoopdi fucking dooo.


You will know pretty early on if weight lifting is right for you, and if you have the raw material to develop into anything worth looking at. A lot of people have no potential, most have some potential, a very small percentage have great potential, and a fraction of a percentage have professional potential.

I see you're on the 10 x 3 tip. It's all the rage these days. 10 x 3 is a lot of volume especially if you're using the same weight on each set. If you're not, however,then you have to waste a lot of time using really light weights in the work up to the heavy triple. What is your rest between sets like? You doing that crazy 90 seconds? It's not hard to get the bench up if you dont overwork yourself, but people think they need ultra sets to get there. Some do, and some don't. If you're stuck behind 5x/week benchers there's a good chance your methods are not working and you need to try something else.

Static weight for many sets never worked worth a shit for me- I've only ever been able to advance with increases in weight per set. Try it.


I am a big believer in genetics being a big factor in this game, but you take it a little too far it seems man. This guy obviously doesn't have shitty genetics, he looks like he trains and just hit a speed bump like most of us do and needed a little kick start. You are going to discourage a lot of people that can make significant improvements to themselves without clarifying your posts a little more.

Some potential with a pitbull attitude and time is going to turn that person likely into one of the top 5-10 biggest guys at their gym(unless they train at Golds Venica haha). There are people that have very little potential but they usually aren't attracted to this lifestyle and find it extremely difficult and quit, I don't see the OP as this at all. Does he have pro or national level genetics? No, not unless some enormous piece was missing from the puzzle that would be accelerating his gains in the near future. But he can do a hell of a lot with his physique(as can likely everyone reading this thread) as long as he stays away from Negative Nancies and puts in his time.

Please if you are going to post things like that be more specific(I know what you are talking about, others likely don't) or else the message can be taken the wrong way.


hey thanks everyone for the replies, no i dont think my training is that bad, i think im doing the right stuff because ive come a long way since i first started (benched like 85 pounds)!!! its just i am stuck in a little rut and needed a kick start like scott said, im never going to quit, i love this shit, all i think about everyday is how to get bigger and stronger naturally, the hard way, i dont want any shortcuts and im not looking for any shortcuts i just like hearing positive things from people, and when i get stuck i like to hear different peoples opinions on what to do next for a fresh start and a change.

the 10x3 is working great for me, and the reason i said my bench is lower than "those" people is because most of the people im referring to bench over 300 and im not quite there yet, but this is my next goal, and im going to reach it, im also working on bringing up my deadlift, squat, and overhead press,