I have reached a dilemma. I was dating a girl for 2 yrs until a month ago. I have also been secure in the relationship, so I was in Mass Phase for most of that time, trying to gain every ounce of muscle I could. I don’t have a high bf, but my abs don’t show. I dread dieting b/c of the strength & muscle losses associated with it. But I need to make some attempt to rebuild a sex life, and I think that dieting to shed a few pounds could help me out. What’s more important?!?!

Well it sounds like to me that you are leaning towards getting cut. So you have to do what is right to you for you and everything will work out.

…Posting on “off-topic…”

I think that you need to stop and think about what your goals are. Do you want to be a successful bodybuilder, or do you want to impress women year round? I diet when I need to lose body fat to make longer term success more likely. Call me crazy, but if a girl will only be involved with you if your abs are only showing MOST of the time, then she’s too superficial. Mutual accomplishment of personal goals should be a very important part of any relationship; I’d rather find someone who is supportive of mine (and I have:).

On a side note, if you can’t see your abs at all, your BF% is probably at least 13-14%. A cutting cycle might do a world of good in terms of assuring that the majority of gains in the near future will be lean mass.

You tell us.

MBE: “Gettin’ wasted at the GROW Bar since 1944. JADABB founder, 2002.”


It seems like you need to set your priorities strait and make a decision on what is more important to you. If you want to get cut up then that is great, but don’t do it for a girl. You need to find someone who likes you the way you are because what do you think is going to happen when you decide to get back in a mass phase. If she was their just for your abs she is probably not going to be their long.

Dude - what’s more important is that you clearly define yourself, for yourself. Your values, goals and ideals…and strive to become that. I’m the first to admit that when I was single…working out was (and is) a huge passion, but I also used it to attract as many phillies as possible…and I always maintained a single digit BF…but I was also in organized sports…where a low BF is going to aid in performance. However, as I got into my mid twenties, I knew that superficial reasons where just that - for a lifetime of excellence, you need more than just sex as your motivator. As our competition days fade and we move to different phases of life, our disciplines must endure…so I knew that that value structure would not stand the test of time…so I evolved…how many times have we seen a former buddy from the gym get married…or a former hottie for that matter…get married and 1-2 years later they become just like EVERYONE else in society. Soft-out of shape and basically AVERAGE (AHHHH!) ?? Too many times. Use this opportunity to clearly define your goals and yourself - also bear in mind that you need to mirror the values and qualities that you want to attract in a woman - I would propose that you dig into the forum and the faq section (as I’m sure you already have) and find a program to help you shed some fat and actually SEE all of the hard earned mass you’ve gained over the last 2 odd years. Since you’ve been working out for this long, you SHOULD be at the point where you can manipulate your BF and LEAN mass within 5-7%…which should reveal your abs…while still retaining your lean mass. And besides that man…after reading and participating in the FORUM…you should know it’s about damn time you PERIODIZED!!! Good luck and have fun man.

if you are so afraid of losing strength and mass and you seem pressed for time, do some mag-10, md-6, T2, until you hit your goal. laters pk

I love how the people on this forum think. “I [was] secure in the relationship, so I was in Mass Phase for most of that time…” Hilarious!

If you’ve been bulking for two years without leaning at all, maybe you’re just fat now despite your belief that you may not be? So your gf thinks fat boys = not sexy? Just a thought. Get your bodyfat % measured and go from there. If she’s so superficial that she’ll dump you just cuz you don’t have visible abs, then she’s not worth it.