Despade: Journey to Strong(ish?)


Weight: fat
4 x 3 x 315

Almost to the point of self hatred where I actually cut weight :joy:

what’s stopping you doing this? competing goals ?

I eat like an unsupervised child :joy::joy: the test has bumped my appetite, I’m lifting heavier, so I’m hungry as shit, and then I’m still (I know better) tied to a number on the scale (“if I get over 220 I’m fat”)

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Weight: 225.8


Chased the pump

Low incline DB
4 x 10-12 x 75

Fill the sleeves

Been a bachelor for over a week with the wife and kids visiting family, so my schedule has been absolutely dicked. First decent night of sleep was last night, first early morning back was today, ouch :joy:

We all get body dismorfia, especially as we get stronger. Keep up the good work.

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Funny how we fall apart when left to our own devices. Loving the pump and sleeve fill workout choice. Got to look good for flexing when you have the mirror at home all to yourself. LOL

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3 x 3 x 275


Weight: 226

3, 3, 2 x 315

Was going well, left pec cramped on the second rep of the third set so I hung it up, not about pushing through shit like that anymore :joy:



3 x 3 x 315

Felt great, better than the last one, ha. May have a new training buddy, ex-wildly successful college football player with a stupid motor (may be a problem :joy:) we coach together and he’s ready to feel like not as big of a piece of shit again, but like most ex-athletes he isn’t sure how to workout or train without a specific purpose, or how to listen to his body and not end up hating the weight room again, which pairs well with me as I’ve spent the last 15 years coming to terms with it haha excited to have someone to workout with, and the fact that he’s an absolute dude should help push me once his CNS and body catch back up a little bit

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3 x 185

Felt heavy, but the rest felt great, real good pump, feeling good overall

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5 x 5 x 225

Fuck I hate doing legs. Light squat week, heavy dead’s Saturday (8/12)

DB Bench
4 or 5 x 8 x 100

Bloated and lethargic.


1 x 525

Felt good. No grip issues, actually got a video, boy have I chubbed up :joy: but weight is moving, I guess haha
Did some conditioning
3 - 40 yard ‘dashes’ sprints are not in my arsenal at the moment :joy:
400 yard run
5 - 60 yard for time (1:05)

made it look easy

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3 x 3 x 275

Flat Barbell Bench
3, 2 x 315

Legs are stupid. Bench is better. :joy:

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Seated DB OHP
3 x 5 x 90s

Felt good, tired as shit, sleep schedule has been fucked the last week with football season starting up, but such is life

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Light back work, low back and hips are shot for this week, was going to pull heavy for my birthday, but… nope.


Weight 224

2 x 2 x 315

Didn’t feel solid, hip and low back still shot, but I’ve got to either pull heavy or squat with some weight to feel like I’ve done fuck all in a given week. Weight looks better and I feel good. Been averaging about 25,000 steps a day now that football is started.

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Weight: 225

Haven’t skipped any days, just haven’t logged.

3 x 2 x 315

Moved smoothly, but had a shaky second rep on the third set so called it.

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Standing Barbell OHP
3 x 3 x 195

Still making it, only thing I’m skipping is legs, cuz fuck me if at 4am that doesn’t sound awful, always :joy:

Feeling decent, a little sloppy but not bad, still cruising at 200mg of test cyp a week, got an order in to take some extra vials off of a good friend next week, going to up my doseage a bit as my schedule calms down, see what happens.

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Up to 275 2 x 3

Lower back just doesn’t like it, contemplating moving to high bar, close stance, with lighter weight and just absolutely pump my quads as opposed to pushing weight. Use deadlifts and bench to feed my ego haha


Weight: 226

DB Bench Low (first pin) Incline
10, 8, 8, 8 x 100s

Felt solid, shoulders seem to stay happy when I alternate barbell and dumbbell benching.



1 x 495
0 x 545

Broke 545 off the ground, but immediately folded haha grip is good, just couldn’t maintain form. Then got pissed and was gonna rip 495 again and just wasn’t primed, gave it a tug and it didn’t want to move either haha got a little pissed off muscle in my lat from it now. Goddamn I feel stupid some days :joy:

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Straight Bar Flat
225 x 10, 10, 10, 6, 8

Shoulders feel ok, not great, but this moved fine. Probably going to try and push bench and deadlift, stay away from squats, that juice is just not worth the squeeze right now, gonna try and find a variation that I can get good at, maybe.