T Nation

Depression Mounting

Okay so I’m gonna be a pussy for a bit and whine.

I recently switched over from my old Madcow 5x5 routine to the Juggernaut Method. The day after my first workout, I come down with a strain of the flu, get quarantined to my house, and spend the next month being sporadically pricked with needles and vomiting. I lost about 30 pounds.

I tear into my new workout after lowering the numbers to account for my month away.

Uncle dies, my car gets wrecked, I’m told my wife won’t be coming to see me for at least another 3 months, and they say my grandmother is going to die any day now.

Doesn’t matter, I just work it out at the gym. I don’t need shit as long as I’m lifting.

But now my Squat is suffering. Before I got sick, I was looking at 400lbs max without a belt or anything, and could get 335 x5. I keep struggling with any weight over 250 for anything over 4-5 reps. It’s just very frustrating.

Anyone got some advice on anything I can do? If not, I’m just gonna go hurl some fragile shit at my back fence to blow off some steam. Then, I’m going to eat some chicken and rice and nap. Finally, I’m going to go back to my Madcow5x5 and work back up to where it and the RSR got me and hit up 5/3/1 when that stalls.

Start counting post-flu PRs. It makes it feel a lot more positive, you’ll see that you’re getting better instead of not being as good as before.

Really sorry to hear about the family trouble.

[quote]Experiment1 wrote:
Anyone got some advice on anything I can do?[/quote]
Read:
http://www.T-Nation.com/strength-training-topics/1195

And then refocus and get back at it, like you said. Maybe consider some kind of transition program if you’re still feeling the effects of the weight loss:

[quote]kakno wrote:
Start counting post-flu PRs. It makes it feel a lot more positive, you’ll see that you’re getting better instead of not being as good as before.[/quote]
Solid idea. It’s a legit excuse, so it’s not like you’re looking for any old reason to count PRs. You’ve had a pretty bad run of luck this year, training-wise, according to your post history - the fractured vertebrae, the spider bite, etc.

Any kind of momentum you can get going is going to be a good thing. Get back onto a training and eating routine, and you should be back on track soon enough.

get knocked back 7 times and get back up 8. just gotta keep on keepin on. wish you best of luck man.

Think of how much stronger you are gonna be both physically and mentally when this passes.

I registered just to post this.

Try St John’s Wort. It can help reduce the chemicals that l a cause depression and frustration. And its very cheap. It has helped’me heaps.

See your doctor about the depression. There’s no shame in asking for help.

[quote]Experiment1 wrote:
Okay so I’m gonna be a pussy for a bit and whine.

I recently switched over from my old Madcow 5x5 routine to the Juggernaut Method. The day after my first workout, I come down with a strain of the flu, get quarantined to my house, and spend the next month being sporadically pricked with needles and vomiting. I lost about 30 pounds.

I tear into my new workout after lowering the numbers to account for my month away.

Uncle dies, my car gets wrecked, I’m told my wife won’t be coming to see me for at least another 3 months, and they say my grandmother is going to die any day now.

Doesn’t matter, I just work it out at the gym. I don’t need shit as long as I’m lifting.

But now my Squat is suffering. Before I got sick, I was looking at 400lbs max without a belt or anything, and could get 335 x5. I keep struggling with any weight over 250 for anything over 4-5 reps. It’s just very frustrating.

Anyone got some advice on anything I can do? If not, I’m just gonna go hurl some fragile shit at my back fence to blow off some steam. Then, I’m going to eat some chicken and rice and nap. Finally, I’m going to go back to my Madcow5x5 and work back up to where it and the RSR got me and hit up 5/3/1 when that stalls.[/quote]

First off your not a pussy! Depression is real as is stress which in your case is dramatic.

One thing to remember you will get through this , but when your in the middle of it it seems like it will last forever, it doesn’t. If you haven’t seen a doctor I think its a good idea, there is help out there and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

I am sorry for your loses but know that you are in a difficult place which over time does change .
hang in there.

I’m fine now.

I started doing a workout I call the Madtoe’s 3x5, which is just SS with ramped sets and assistance. When I got stuck on 285x5 Squat and couldn’t get past it on SS after 3 resets, I reset once more and gave it a try before moving on to the 5x5. In a few weeks, it got me up to 315x5 before I stalled and moved to Madcow.

I was told regaining strength is a lot faster than building it, so I dropped my squats to an easily manageable 250x5 and plan on running it till the wheels come off, and hopefully it can get me close enough to where I was. I’ve really missed squatting every workout.

Not going to give you advice on depression but if squating more will help you out, try Smolov. You will crush your PR’s… that always makes me feel better.

Yeah I think squatting more has helped me, and I do plan on trying smolov once I get back to where I was and stall out for real. I did the Russian Squat routine an it was fun. It was my first time working with sets of less than 5 and weights over 350lbs. I figured the Smolov would be the next step up from that.

Got gastroenteritis, had endoscopy w/ biopsy, had my wisdom teeth pulled (same week) lost 20 lbs got discouraged and stopped for a while during school. I had a ton of GF issues (long distance and we both had issues, hers worse than mine in some ways), I started drinking to cope with things (shitty boneheaded idea), attempted something stupid (you can guess what that might be), was in a hospital for behavioral medicine for 5 days on suicide watch getting a little rehab. Came back and my dean tried to force me into a medical leave that would put me a little over a year behind in school (Health Sciences), girlfriend dumped me (she had a 2 year old I was very attached to haven’t seen or talked to them in months). I started taking resperdone and zoloft, and they kicked the living shit out of me because nobody cared to manage them properly. I was in counseling for 3 days a week for 3 months leading up to my admittance to the hospital, and 3 months after. I had the papers to withdraw on medical leave in my hands when I decided to push through. I ditched my depression meds AMA (I do not recommend this, I just got fed up that nobody cared to even check the dosages or ask me about it) and started lifting again. I lost a lot of friends, but quite honestly looking back, perhaps losing some of them wasn’t such a bad thing.

40 lbs gained (not all muscle of course) and almost 6 months later, I would say I am doing pretty well, and I owe a lot of it to lifting weights. Still having issues, but the weights are helping more than the pills ever did (talking to a doctor is never a bad idea though, sometimes they will give you a mild prescription to get you through just make sure they actually give a shit about you). Just take care of yourself and keep on keeping on. Its good to have nothing on your mind but the weights, even if it is only for one hour a couple times a week. I know it can be scary (hell, I was afraid of myself for a long time), but its never worth just quitting. You will be surprised what you are capable of. I have hit another scary spot in my life, and I know that even though I may not end up where or how I want to be, there will always be a barbell somewhere to help me chill out, release my frustrations, and give me a reason to wake up tomorrow. I know I am not a huge muscular guy, but you know aside from family and a few close friends, sometimes that’s all I have, and I am fine with that.

You seem to have a good plan. I wish I was as level headed as you seem to be when I went through my episode. Keep your head up. Some days (or months in your case) you gotta take it on the chin. Just keep moving forward.

Don’t quit. Adapt and overcome. I know it is possible, and you will be proud that you didn’t just give up, roll over, and die when things got tough.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about meds, or even just to vent about something (sometimes it is the best medicine).

-Zep