Depressed & Unmotivated After Cycle, Eyes are Sensitive to Light

Hey guys, was hoping anyone could offer some insight for my situation. I started a cycle in May that was test 250 full cc twice a week and tren half a cc once a week until about September which is when I substituted the test for sust 250 one full cc once a week along with the half cc of tren once a week. I stopped my cycle on mid october and was feeling completely fine until about late November where anxiety and depression crept on me.

It has gotten better since then, but I still feel extremely fatigued, unmotivated and my eyes are extremely sensitive to light. I’ve done bloodwork twice, once when I started to feel the crash in its prime and once about a week ago. I started pct for 3 weeks which was clomid 50mg twice a day and then stopped.

Then I tried to start again when I I crashed and it just made me feel worse so I haven’t touched it for a couple of days and feel a little bit better. During the crash my test was at 330, and now it is at about 700. My endocrinologist said all of my bloodwork looks fine, but I’m still feeling extremely shitty, some days worse then the next. Any advice?

I don’t know what is causing your light sensitivity, I haven’t heard of a link between steroids.
How old are you? What else is going on in your life? Do you have a history of depression? Does your Dr know you have been taking anabolics?

100mg/day Clomid is way too much. 3 weeks is too short. 25mg for 6 weeks.

I’m 23, and I mean not really much has changed but I’m thinking that anxiety is playing apart in the eye sight or maybe even a side effect of the clomid. the little things I starting to bother me even more now that I’m off cycle. As for the clomid, should I still take it even though all my bloodwork is coming out normal. Also I used to have anxiety attacks but they only lasted a day until they went away.

Total test: 687
Free test 107
Prolactin: 3.9
T4: free: 1.2

These are my results as of now.

Here I thought it was high PRL and turns out you’re on the lower side. Have you been taking anything other than your SERM?

Nothing at all besides some test boosters I got from Amazon

Welcome to the hormonal gamble of taking steroids and then stopping… There are people who fuck themselves up for years and sometimes forever doing this. Have you tried just going back on some 180mg?


I was thinking about it, but I’d much rather try and get over it rather then go back, because the thought has crossed my mind on multiple occasions.

You do understand that by “getting over it” you will end up Ctrl+A+Del on everything you did with the cycle, yes?
Basically, after months of struggle your best end result will be exactly where you was before starting the cycle, or maybe even worse, making the whole cycle and all the struggle after it right now, completely useless and a complete waste?

1/2 cc of tren once a week ??? Does nobody research at all anymore ? Anxiety attacks for an entire day ??? wtf

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Your free T is like 10ng/dl, optimals level are often above 20. Tested your SHBG? Bet it is high. Also, a study has shown it can take five to six time the administration period time for dopamin system to return to baseline. The study was on deca durabolin, but similiar harsher compunds (tren) will probably have similiar effects. Why your free T was that low makes sense now as you were on clomid when you did the bloodwork. Also, I had the light sensitivity like you and it’s your brain’s way of avoiding stimulation. You need to rest, your whole body has been in overdrive, and now it needs plenty of rest to recover.

I don’t think so… He wants to recover and produce testosterone on his own which is good and his levels are very good, so he’s doing well. He will most likely keep some lbm, we all know that you’re gonna lose size when you go off, but you totally can keep some especially after first cycle. Strange of you giving him this advice, I’m not sure why? You’re good at what you do, but man no need to tell someone such demotivating things like it was a complete waste, which it wasn’t…

OP - ride it out man, you’re doing fine, when I did pct it was hell and my testosterone levels were 400 something for some time, but I jumped the gun too soon and now I’m on testosterone and I don’t plan to recover even though I’m 25. It was my decision and I made it, I don’t care I love it. You will recover I’m sure, just give your body more time and motivate yourself to workout and be physically active, hit the gym and be on top of your diet and sleep, watch out for stress and what triggers it try to avoid it.

EDIT: also it could be psychological that you were so high on testosterone and tren was mixed in, I remember anabolic doc said coming off tren is debilitating. Please understand this, you won’t be this supraphysiological human being anymore, just accept this and move on! It’s no need to feel like this, I had this problem myself and I’ve been with testosterone all over, but settled on lower dose finally after playing arround. I feel way better, but it didn’t happen so quickly, but in the end I feel better doing less.

Really appreciate the advice man means a lot. I’m getting better as the day progress, just haven’t been able to hit the gym as much due to the anxiety I get from even being in the gym but I’m sure that is the psychological effect of it like you said.

Since my test and hormone levels are boarder line normal, do you suggest I still take the clomid? It gave me some nasty side effects with depression which is why I stopped in the first place.

Greatly appreciated

First clarify one thing, was your testosterone 687 when on or off clomid? If so then after couple of weeks off clomid what were your T levels and how did you feel off?

@iron_yuppie we really need your help on this topic.

687 was when I was on, and felt extremely shitty. It’s been about a week since I’ve been off of it and feel a lot better then when I was on

Clomid is not a friendly drug, so it’s not shocking you felt like Hell while on it.

Let’s clarify something right now though, because it’s important: your blood work results while still on Clomid are not going to be very useful in solving your problem. I imagine if you drew blood while you were on cycle your test levels would look great. But you wouldn’t then use that number as a reference for where you should be at some time down the road and without the drugs. You need blood work when the Clomid has cleared your system, otherwise you’re not getting an accurate picture.

Tren is not a drug from which you easily pct. Metabolites stick around and can continue to be suppressive for up to 18 months. It is not recommended that anyone use it unless they plan to stay on testosterone for long amounts of time afterwards. You’re still in the early stages of failing to fully recover, so it’ll be worse for you today than it will be in six months.

If Clomid is making you feel lousy then the very obvious answer is “don’t take Clomid”. I imagine you’ve already figured that part out. So your plan now should be to go about your life for another five weeks and then get blood drawn again. You’ll see what your numbers truly are and you can make an assessment at that point. Until then you’ll just spend time speculating without really getting anywhere.


Listen to what @iron_yuppie says he knows what he’s saying, I understand at first it might sound complicated, but don’t take clomid and like he said wait out 5-6 weeks and get tested again. Ride it out man I’m telling you, whenever you feel like giving up - if you give up you will REGRET, I’m not against using synthetic testosterone as I do it myself, but man I was naive 23 year old when I decided to stay on it, I have no regrets thankfully, but I can sustain such a lifestyle, but it’s not for everyone believe that. If you go on testosterone you gotta commit big time to that lifestyle, it ain’t easy as just injecting there are more problems that can occur and if you’re still young you don’t need that. In case you do decide to use testosterone, then think about this - are you gonna commit to injecting and fixing your protocol for more than couple years? Cuz it’s more often than not for life. That’s all I have to say man, make up your mind and do the right thing.

Nope. You only keep the size your natural test can support. Which means - not a gram of muscle more than you built naturally.
Keeping size after steroid cycle months after being off is possible only if you did a dumbass thing to begin with - started steroids NOT reaching your natural limit of muscle gain, in which case not only did he fuck up now, he also fucked it up to gain something he would have gained in 6 more months naturally and without this backlash.

I said that he should consider going on a permanent trt.
What he is doing now is just getting fucked for absolutely nothing to show for it. It is not really demotivating when its just the truth, hence - the idea of using this problem to go on a trt.

All in all i couldnt care less. Im just saying what i would suggest to someone i care for or what i would do.
The whole principle of someone doing a cycle and then going off FOR ME sounds like the person is getting what he deserves in a sense of doing pretty dangerous shit without studying it.
We have tons of threads here from people who did a cycle some years back and are fucked ever since.
I may lack empathy, but his problems wont be solved by me hugging him and saying kind words also tho.

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Hank, I get you, but there is always more than one way right? And the right way for each person is the one he has to choose, we here can only recommend options, which you did and I do agree why the hell touch steroids if you don’t plan on staying on at least cruise amount of testosterone.

As far as you saying “natural limit” - most people these days my age (25) or younger kids ain’t gonna spend that much time and you probably know that yourself, so I’d say it’s most likely he didn’t reach his either.

We all make mistakes, I did it, you did it we all made some mistakes, but it doesn’t mean there is no way out at least I believe so and like I said your experience is broad and wealthy we can all learn from you something which is cool.

I didnt say that there is no way out. I mentioned the best option i believe in. He can do with this what he wants. I just gave my opinion and thats it.