Depressed, Need Advice

Listen dude, if your mom was abusive no pill is going to just fix things. You need to do talk therapy for a long time and find a therapist that you click with and can make progress. If you enjoy lifting then it will be a good release as you work through your shit. Also the same steps youve learned about getting stronger will apply to through working through your problems. Remember that it will be work, I think a lot of people fail with therapy for the same reason a lot of people fail on diets… they dont realize that it is going to suck, it is going to be hard, but keep your eye on the outcome and you can do it. Although if you are at the point of thinking about suicide to get away from your problems then you most likely are willing to put in the time and work to get through your shit.

Also keep talking about shit, look for support, keep friends and family around you. A lot of people have gone through some horrible shit and ended up having great lives… despite how hopeless the future may seem now. When you retreat into yourself and feed those self defeating thoughts you are only going to make things worse. As hard as it is keep talking through it, it will get easier in time like anything. Good luck, and don’t let this period of your life define you.

I agree with Houstonguy, go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, etc. I personally, have stop watching the news and instead just read about it, I stopped watching all these serious crime dramas, instead I watch the USA, TNT, the light hearted versions.

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Damn! Beat me to it

How about… get out of the fucking dorm room and find a party.[/quote]

Ive never really been into the whole partying scene and dont care much for drinking. Also, since I have some serious social anxiety issues, parties just arent fun for me. Not that it is an excuse, but I guess Im not at a point to where I can deal with it yet. Thats why I was asking for adive about medication. [/quote]
Not a psychologist by any means but it sounds like you are talking yourself out of life and looking for a crutch.

Maybe see if you can find “baby steps” on netflix? I think its baby steps… A hilarious Bill Murray movie.[/quote]

well the psychologist seems to think that I am clinically depressed… Im trying to fix this, not look for easy ways out[/quote]Right now go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, concsiously focus on positive things and deny negative thoughts a foothold, take ownership of your brain…do it, do it, just do it.
[/quote]

Yeah I definately do need to focus on positive things rather than negative. It has just be very difficult for me to do so while im depressed. Have you ever been clinically depressed before?

[quote]Ray33157 wrote:
E901, I know where your coming from and based on that last post you need to follow the professionals advice and if that means taking meds then be it so. Trust me I’ve been there. The side affects varies from person to person and meds to meds. Talk about your concerns about side effects with the doctor and they try to find the best fit for your situation. All the worrying about the side effects isn’t going to accomplish much, you’ll be in the same place. Here is a side effect, you get better, you end up spending more time at the gym because you feel more motivated and goal oriented. And maybe you do have to put a little more effort in at the gym but in the end you’ll be better off than you are now. And from what I remember about college was the hot chicks working out and the ones that come up to you at the gym and saying don’t we have a class togeather? So spending more time there isn’t a bad thing. Now I’m not pro meds for disorders, but sometimes its a necessity. All these guys in here teasing you about going out and stuff, well if you were better that would actually be an option in your mind. Also, workingout does help with depression, google it. Good luck. [/quote]

Good post.

OP, listen to the people who have been in your shoes.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Why is your therapist so quick ti medicate you? That is one option but what has she tried so far? Anxiety disorders “can” be worked through without MAO’s or SSRI interference.

What have you done so far?[/quote]

Exactly, this is why i wanted some other people’s input. I know that medication for this is given out so easily and i know that it is possible to overcome depression without them. I havent had any medication yet and have just being going to see my therapist once every week or so. [/quote]

I’m worried that she is going after the depression with meds…not the anxiety disorder which IMO should be taken care of with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

How long have you been seeing her? In your post you say youve been depressed for a year but when did the sessions start?[/quote]

Yeah CBT is what im starting now, so far the sessions have mostly just been “identifying the problem” i guess… Honestly, she talked about medication on the very first session which is why I was so skeptical in the first place. I started going to the sessions for about two months. I assume you think I should stick with CBT before going to meds? Thanks for the reply

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]Ray33157 wrote:
E901, I know where your coming from and based on that last post you need to follow the professionals advice and if that means taking meds then be it so. Trust me I’ve been there. The side affects varies from person to person and meds to meds. Talk about your concerns about side effects with the doctor and they try to find the best fit for your situation. All the worrying about the side effects isn’t going to accomplish much, you’ll be in the same place. Here is a side effect, you get better, you end up spending more time at the gym because you feel more motivated and goal oriented. And maybe you do have to put a little more effort in at the gym but in the end you’ll be better off than you are now. And from what I remember about college was the hot chicks working out and the ones that come up to you at the gym and saying don’t we have a class togeather? So spending more time there isn’t a bad thing. Now I’m not pro meds for disorders, but sometimes its a necessity. All these guys in here teasing you about going out and stuff, well if you were better that would actually be an option in your mind. Also, workingout does help with depression, google it. Good luck. [/quote]

Good post.

OP, listen to the people who have been in your shoes.

[/quote]

I most definitely will. Thanks for the advice Ray

[quote]MikeyKBiatch wrote:
Listen dude, if your mom was abusive no pill is going to just fix things. You need to do talk therapy for a long time and find a therapist that you click with and can make progress. If you enjoy lifting then it will be a good release as you work through your shit. Also the same steps youve learned about getting stronger will apply to through working through your problems. Remember that it will be work, I think a lot of people fail with therapy for the same reason a lot of people fail on diets… they dont realize that it is going to suck, it is going to be hard, but keep your eye on the outcome and you can do it. Although if you are at the point of thinking about suicide to get away from your problems then you most likely are willing to put in the time and work to get through your shit.

Also keep talking about shit, look for support, keep friends and family around you. A lot of people have gone through some horrible shit and ended up having great lives… despite how hopeless the future may seem now. When you retreat into yourself and feed those self defeating thoughts you are only going to make things worse. As hard as it is keep talking through it, it will get easier in time like anything. Good luck, and don’t let this period of your life define you.[/quote]

Thanks I will keep this in mind

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Damn! Beat me to it

How about… get out of the fucking dorm room and find a party.[/quote]

Ive never really been into the whole partying scene and dont care much for drinking. Also, since I have some serious social anxiety issues, parties just arent fun for me. Not that it is an excuse, but I guess Im not at a point to where I can deal with it yet. Thats why I was asking for adive about medication. [/quote]
Not a psychologist by any means but it sounds like you are talking yourself out of life and looking for a crutch.

Maybe see if you can find “baby steps” on netflix? I think its baby steps… A hilarious Bill Murray movie.[/quote]

well the psychologist seems to think that I am clinically depressed… Im trying to fix this, not look for easy ways out[/quote]Right now go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, concsiously focus on positive things and deny negative thoughts a foothold, take ownership of your brain…do it, do it, just do it.
[/quote]

Yeah I definately do need to focus on positive things rather than negative. It has just be very difficult for me to do so while im depressed. Have you ever been clinically depressed before?[/quote]Nope, but I’m a huge believer in willpower, regardless of emotional station and ranges. I have been “down” and found excuses made it worse. Seriously, proactively put some sneakers on, zone in to a light hearted play list and hit the track or sidewalk.

Worse case what can it hurt? Get out of your head. Your legs will move even if you don’t feel like it. Make them take you for a run and take that small victory over yourself.

I don’t care what title you have, you can let yourself shrink to a seed or grow to an unbending oak by decisions. Your emotions only rule you if you let them. Take control by taking positive action, any positive action but especially exercise for the dopamine boost.

Would you agree you have the power of choice even in your state? If so, use it to your advantage.

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Damn! Beat me to it

How about… get out of the fucking dorm room and find a party.[/quote]

Ive never really been into the whole partying scene and dont care much for drinking. Also, since I have some serious social anxiety issues, parties just arent fun for me. Not that it is an excuse, but I guess Im not at a point to where I can deal with it yet. Thats why I was asking for adive about medication. [/quote]
Not a psychologist by any means but it sounds like you are talking yourself out of life and looking for a crutch.

Maybe see if you can find “baby steps” on netflix? I think its baby steps… A hilarious Bill Murray movie.[/quote]

well the psychologist seems to think that I am clinically depressed… Im trying to fix this, not look for easy ways out[/quote]Right now go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, concsiously focus on positive things and deny negative thoughts a foothold, take ownership of your brain…do it, do it, just do it.
[/quote]

Yeah I definately do need to focus on positive things rather than negative. It has just be very difficult for me to do so while im depressed. Have you ever been clinically depressed before?[/quote]Nope, but I’m a huge believer in willpower, regardless of emotional station and ranges. I have been “down” and found excuses made it worse. Seriously, proactively put some sneakers on, zone in to a light hearted play list and hit the track or sidewalk.

Worse case what can it hurt? Get out of your head. Your legs will move even if you don’t feel like it. Make them take you for a run and take that small victory over yourself.

I don’t care what title you have, you can let yourself shrink to a seed or grow to an unbending oak by decisions. Your emotions only rule you if you let them. Take control by taking positive action, any positive action but especially exercise for the dopamine boost.

Would you agree you have the power of choice even in your state? If so, use it to your advantage.
[/quote]

That’s way better than my squats and milk suggestion, albeit loosely based on the aforementioned flexion/extension and dairy consumption theory. Good show.

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Why is your therapist so quick ti medicate you? That is one option but what has she tried so far? Anxiety disorders “can” be worked through without MAO’s or SSRI interference.

What have you done so far?[/quote]

Exactly, this is why i wanted some other people’s input. I know that medication for this is given out so easily and i know that it is possible to overcome depression without them. I havent had any medication yet and have just being going to see my therapist once every week or so. [/quote]

I’m worried that she is going after the depression with meds…not the anxiety disorder which IMO should be taken care of with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

How long have you been seeing her? In your post you say youve been depressed for a year but when did the sessions start?[/quote]

Yeah CBT is what im starting now, so far the sessions have mostly just been “identifying the problem” i guess… Honestly, she talked about medication on the very first session which is why I was so skeptical in the first place. I started going to the sessions for about two months. I assume you think I should stick with CBT before going to meds? Thanks for the reply [/quote]

Mentioning meds on the first visit is not a trait of a good therapist. I would suggest doing some doctor shopping. Contact NAMI in your area and ask if they can point you to someone who is more of a talker than a medicator.

You are not locked into one doctor…remember that. That is especially true when it comes to mental health care providers…it is most important to find one who is on the same level as you in terms of approach.

I’m a behavioral guy and believe chemical interference should come into play when all else is exhausted. The fact that the option is already on the table is off putting. To me, it says she’s pigeon holing you and you deserve better.

Think of it this way…taking meds at this point is the equivalent to a guy using dbol after 2 months of learning to work out…make sense?

…fat burners won’t make an obese guy ripped if he is still eating pizzas everyday…get it?

Understand this will take time and work. No pill will erase the abuse you unfortunately endured. Your memories and experiences will always be there. You need to come to terms with them and defeat them first…

In the long run you’ll be better off in my opinion learning tto express things and deal with them positively…vs taking an upper which may not even work…

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Damn! Beat me to it

How about… get out of the fucking dorm room and find a party.[/quote]

Ive never really been into the whole partying scene and dont care much for drinking. Also, since I have some serious social anxiety issues, parties just arent fun for me. Not that it is an excuse, but I guess Im not at a point to where I can deal with it yet. Thats why I was asking for adive about medication. [/quote]
Not a psychologist by any means but it sounds like you are talking yourself out of life and looking for a crutch.

Maybe see if you can find “baby steps” on netflix? I think its baby steps… A hilarious Bill Murray movie.[/quote]

well the psychologist seems to think that I am clinically depressed… Im trying to fix this, not look for easy ways out[/quote]Right now go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, concsiously focus on positive things and deny negative thoughts a foothold, take ownership of your brain…do it, do it, just do it.
[/quote]

Yeah I definately do need to focus on positive things rather than negative. It has just be very difficult for me to do so while im depressed. Have you ever been clinically depressed before?[/quote]Nope, but I’m a huge believer in willpower, regardless of emotional station and ranges. I have been “down” and found excuses made it worse. Seriously, proactively put some sneakers on, zone in to a light hearted play list and hit the track or sidewalk.

Worse case what can it hurt? Get out of your head. Your legs will move even if you don’t feel like it. Make them take you for a run and take that small victory over yourself.

I don’t care what title you have, you can let yourself shrink to a seed or grow to an unbending oak by decisions. Your emotions only rule you if you let them. Take control by taking positive action, any positive action but especially exercise for the dopamine boost.

Would you agree you have the power of choice even in your state? If so, use it to your advantage.
[/quote]

fair enough. I do agree that I always have the power of choice. And im a pretty big believer in willpower too. However, there is a difference between being “down” and being depressed. I dont think its possible for anyone to fully understand unless they have been there. just sayin… But I will take your advice though, I wont ever get out of depression if I dont take control of my own thoughts.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Why is your therapist so quick ti medicate you? That is one option but what has she tried so far? Anxiety disorders “can” be worked through without MAO’s or SSRI interference.

What have you done so far?[/quote]

Exactly, this is why i wanted some other people’s input. I know that medication for this is given out so easily and i know that it is possible to overcome depression without them. I havent had any medication yet and have just being going to see my therapist once every week or so. [/quote]

I’m worried that she is going after the depression with meds…not the anxiety disorder which IMO should be taken care of with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

How long have you been seeing her? In your post you say youve been depressed for a year but when did the sessions start?[/quote]

Yeah CBT is what im starting now, so far the sessions have mostly just been “identifying the problem” i guess… Honestly, she talked about medication on the very first session which is why I was so skeptical in the first place. I started going to the sessions for about two months. I assume you think I should stick with CBT before going to meds? Thanks for the reply [/quote]

Mentioning meds on the first visit is not a trait of a good therapist. I would suggest doing some doctor shopping. Contact NAMI in your area and ask if they can point you to someone who is more of a talker than a medicator.

You are not locked into one doctor…remember that. That is especially true when it comes to mental health care providers…it is most important to find one who is on the same level as you in terms of approach.

I’m a behavioral guy and believe chemical interference should come into play when all else is exhausted. The fact that the option is already on the table is off putting. To me, it says she’s pigeon holing you and you deserve better.

Think of it this way…taking meds at this point is the equivalent to a guy using dbol after 2 months of learning to work out…make sense?

…fat burners won’t make an obese guy ripped if he is still eating pizzas everyday…get it?

Understand this will take time and work. No pill will erase the abuse you unfortunately endured. Your memories and experiences will always be there. You need to come to terms with them and defeat them first…

In the long run you’ll be better off in my opinion learning tto express things and deal with them positively…vs taking an upper which may not even work…

[/quote]
sent you a PM

[quote]biglifter wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]E901 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Damn! Beat me to it

How about… get out of the fucking dorm room and find a party.[/quote]

Ive never really been into the whole partying scene and dont care much for drinking. Also, since I have some serious social anxiety issues, parties just arent fun for me. Not that it is an excuse, but I guess Im not at a point to where I can deal with it yet. Thats why I was asking for adive about medication. [/quote]
Not a psychologist by any means but it sounds like you are talking yourself out of life and looking for a crutch.

Maybe see if you can find “baby steps” on netflix? I think its baby steps… A hilarious Bill Murray movie.[/quote]

well the psychologist seems to think that I am clinically depressed… Im trying to fix this, not look for easy ways out[/quote]Right now go for a jog, watch a light hearted movie, concsiously focus on positive things and deny negative thoughts a foothold, take ownership of your brain…do it, do it, just do it.
[/quote]

Yeah I definately do need to focus on positive things rather than negative. It has just be very difficult for me to do so while im depressed. Have you ever been clinically depressed before?[/quote]Nope, but I’m a huge believer in willpower, regardless of emotional station and ranges. I have been “down” and found excuses made it worse. Seriously, proactively put some sneakers on, zone in to a light hearted play list and hit the track or sidewalk.

Worse case what can it hurt? Get out of your head. Your legs will move even if you don’t feel like it. Make them take you for a run and take that small victory over yourself.

I don’t care what title you have, you can let yourself shrink to a seed or grow to an unbending oak by decisions. Your emotions only rule you if you let them. Take control by taking positive action, any positive action but especially exercise for the dopamine boost.

Would you agree you have the power of choice even in your state? If so, use it to your advantage.
[/quote]

That’s way better than my squats and milk suggestion, albeit loosely based on the aforementioned flexion/extension and dairy consumption theory. Good show.[/quote]Deadlifts and rare steak could work too, especially with a biscuit to sop up the blood.

lol social anxiety, didn’t expect a thread like that here… it will fade away when you learn to better deal with people, learn a new pattern of responses, etc. so that you become more comfortable around people and your life in general. Only you yourself can deal with it, good luck I guess…I’m still a bit uncomfortable in those situations myself, though I’ve almost completely eradicated it…

And yeah don’t even consider SSRIs, it’s not the kind of fix you likely think it is.

I’m not an expert. Neither is anecdotal experience and/or advice.

I’d say you should listen to Rock (as much as I hate his undead guts). Also, that’s good that you’re seeing a therapist.

I think some people here don’t fully grasp what it means to have anxiety disorder or depression. It’s not something that will be fixed by going for a jog or watching a light hearted movie. That shit might work if you’ve had a bad day at the office but not so much when you’re possibly clinically depressed.

[quote]
fair enough. I do agree that I always have the power of choice. And im a pretty big believer in willpower too. However, there is a difference between being “down” and being depressed. I dont think its possible for anyone to fully understand unless they have been there. just sayin… But I will take your advice though, I wont ever get out of depression if I dont take control of my own thoughts. [/quote]

Very true. I remember when I was younger, my mother was on Prozac for a long time. I never understood it until I was lumbered with the same problems!

I’ve been on SSRIs for nearly 2 years now, but I’m slowly getting off them. Only bad side effects I’ve had have been a big decrease in libido. Just remember that SSRIs are not a cure, they are a crutch to help you on your way to the cure. For me, it was a necessity as I was worried about my random mood swings and how it would affect my daughter (the depression seemed to hit just after she was born, Christ only knows why as we were so happy !).

As Rock said, CBT really helped and even got my mother off the drugs. It’s not something that will change overnight though; after all, you basically need to re-programme your brain.

With regards to things like working out, I put myself in situations where I force myself to the gym - for example, I joined a gym that’s on my way home from work. With my gym bag already packed and in the car, it’s more a case of having no excuse to avoid the gym.

Good luck anyway, just don’t do anything stupid!

I know I’m going to get flamed for this, BUT, OP: do you have a religious affiliation?

CS

Get enough quantity and quality of sleep.

Find out what foods your body likes and doesn’t and adjust diet accordingly (wheat is commonly inflammatory).

Anti-depression drugs (SSRI) don’t work, and the drug companies have ALWAYS known the evidence that proves it.
“Meta-analyses of antidepressant medications have reported only modest benefits over placebo treatment, and when unpublished trial data are included, the benefit falls below accepted criteria for clinical significance.”

The amounts of some vitamins or minerals YOUR body needs MAY be many times the RDA; see “orthomolecular medicine”.

Make “Everybody lies to me about everything all the time” your mantra. Chant it.

CHANT IT.

(but, like, y’know… quietly. Don’t want people thinkin yer crazy.)

Hey buddy,

This is no cure, but dont forget high doses of fish oil and occasional dark chocolate.

And foam roll that shit.

tweet

You don’t need to take control of all our thoughts.

Negative thoughts happens.
Often.
Maybe all the time.
That’s ok.
The problem starts when you contemplate them for too long.
Let them vanish.

Negative things happens too.
Often.
Maybe all the time.
That’s ok too.
The problem start when you let contingent things define yourself.
Forget them.

Learn to meditate.
Once you know how to do it. Do it everyday.

Do at least one little simple thing you can be proud of each day.
Reward yourself for doing it.