T Nation

Democratic Convention Program

Lumpy posted a hilarious “Republican Convention Program” on another thread. I thought that this would also be amusing, I hope you all agree:

Democratic Party Convention Program:

6:00pm-Opening flag burning ceremony and Earth Day dance.

6:30pm-Anti-war rally no. 1

6:40pm-Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:00pm-Tribute to France

7:10pm-Collect offerings for al-Zawahrei defense fund.

7:20pm-Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25pm-Tribute to Germany.

7:45pm-Anti-war rally no 2.(moderated by Michael Moore).

8:00pm-John Kerry Presents one side of the issues.

8:25pm-Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm-Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00pm-Gay marriage ceremony.


10:00pm-Flag burning ceremony no. 2.

10:00pm-Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.

10:30pm-Cameo Appearance by Hillary!

10:40pm-Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm-Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm-Double gay marriage ceremony.

11:15pm-Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:20pm-John Kerry presents the other side of the issues.

11:30pm-‘Free Saddam’ pep rally.

11:59pm-Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00Mid-Nomination of Democratic candidate.

I hope it brought at least a smile to your face. Do you have a favorite?

Yes, I must admit it did bring a slight smile to my face! My favorite was Ted Kennedy toasting every ten minutes!

Ted Kennedy is no dummy, he knows why it is called a political party! :wink:


Zeb that seriously had me laughing out loud.

The toasts were genius!!

Now, that was funny. the Kennedy toasts were right on the money.

Yes laugh at my pain. Living in Boston is going to suck that week, can anyone tell me why 30 miles of roadway has to be detoured for the convention, the Prsident doesn’t get thos much security

Zeb -

May I have permission to re-print? That is priceless stuff.

Good stuff Zeb, but didn’t you forget the Anti-oil rally followed by a field trip to Canada, where every liberal drives their own SUV? No passengers allowed in any vehicle, as a safety precaution.

How about Barbra Streisand sings the National Anthem, accompanied by interpretive dancers.

Guys, I cannot take credit for writing this, someone handed it to me a few weeks ago. I think they said that they found it on the net.

Seems like you guys enjoyed it as much as I did- I have to tell you quite honestly that I enjoyed the Republican Convention post by Lumpy (on the other thread) just as much!

Those of you who actually get upset over political humor, well… you might be taking life a bit to seriously.

(By the way good addition Lumpy. Had I written it, I would have added at least one line about Barbara Streisand)

ZEB: take a wild guess why Ashcroft had acute pancreatitis. I don’t think Kennedy is the only one toasting every 10 minutes. :slight_smile:


I don’t doubt it, but he has a reason to drink. Look at all of that nude art on the market. It’s DRIVING HIM CRAZY!! whahahaha

Just found this photo of President Bush. You Three Stooges fans should really enjoy it!


Okay, one last one. You have to admit, there is a resemblance!

lol at lumpy and his additions.

I thought both threads were clever. Like a caricature artist. Accentuating the warts of both parties.


Man, that looks like Canada`s everyday newspaper stuff.

Trust me, you don`t want it to end that way.

In the States itsIn the Land of the Free…`

Here in Quebec itsIn the Land of the Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…`

You just cant pleaseem all. Don`t go too close to Communist or Socialist ideals.