T Nation

Defend Your Friend If He Committed a Crime?

[quote] CONCORD – A speeding teen driver lost control of his sport utility vehicle, jumped a sidewalk and struck a Concord family out for a morning bike ride Saturday, killing a father and his 9-year-old daughter and injuring his 12-year-old daughter, authorities said.
Solaiman Nuri, 41, and his younger daughter, Hadessa, were killed in the crash along Treat Boulevard, near Oak Grove Road, said Concord police Lt. Bill Roche.
Nuri’s older daughter suffered minor injuries not considered life-threatening and was treated at a hospital, Fire Marshal Lewis Broschard said. Authorities are not releasing her name at this time. [/quote]

I honestly dont even know what to say. Its disgusting enough that a father and daughter were killed but people actually defend this guy?


This is that dudes brother. Really dude?

  1. You were not there so you don’t know what happened.

  2. He’s a kid. Both in my eyes and the eyes of the law. Doesn’t excuse what he did, but at the same time, he did make a mistake that many young drivers (hell, many experienced drivers too) make.

Should he be “defended?” Well what do you mean by defended? “Defended” in terms of trying to prove that he was not the driver? Or that he did not commit a crime?

Or defended in that yes, he’s likely guilty of the crime of manslaughter, and his life is now ruined by it, but we shouldn’t act like he meant to kill the people if, indeed, he did not mean to?

Cause the latter, well, I’d defend that. He’s a stupid kid that made a very serious, very stupid mistake. But he’s not a murderer. Don’t treat him as such.

No. I wouldn’t defend a friend who did some shit like that. Man up and deal with the manslaughter charges. You earned em.

[quote]njrusmc wrote:
No. I wouldn’t defend a friend who did some shit like that. Man up and deal with the manslaughter charges. You earned em. [/quote]

Pretty much this.

[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
This is that dudes brother. Really dude?[/quote]

How can people make such open death threats like that? Would the victim of such threats be legally justified in killing Demitri before Demitri had a chance to make good on those threats?

[quote]___ wrote:

[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
This is that dudes brother. Really dude?[/quote]

How can people make such open death threats like that? Would the victim of such threats be legally justified in killing Demitri before Demitri had a chance to make good on those threats?[/quote]

Cause hes a straight up gangsta yo.

[quote]___ wrote:

[quote]QuadasarusFlex wrote:
This is that dudes brother. Really dude?[/quote]

How can people make such open death threats like that? Would the victim of such threats be legally justified in killing Demitri before Demitri had a chance to make good on those threats?[/quote]
People are fucking sick these man. They have no sympathy or compassion. I doubt the guy that killed that family is feeling any kind of remorse just stemming from his brothers disgusting words.

Tough to say how I’d treat a friend accused of manslaughter- I guess it depends on how stupid/avoidable his/her role in the events leading up to the incident were.

The dude’s “brother” sounds like absolute trash though. Unfit for society if he acts even remotely like his internet persona IRL.

One of my supervisors’ daughter went through this. She had gotten her license 2 weeks before and someone had said something nasty to her and her friend and kicked or scratched the car after a party. Another friend said “you gonna just let them do that? Go after them!” So she and her best friend got in the car and went after the other kids. she was going 80 on the highway and swerved to miss something in the road and hit the rumble strips. They scared her and she over corrected and ended up going across the lanes of traffic, through the guard rail and into a tree. Her friend died instantly and she ended up in a coma for a week. The friend’s mother wanted her charged with manslaughter. It took 18 months and at the end she was given community service, a fine, and 6 months of house arrest. It’s been 5 years and she still hasn’t gotten over it.

Defend him in the sense I would say something to people who posted random comments basically attacking him, yes. If someone is your friend you have their back even when they mess up. Dudes brother handled it poorly yeah, but he’s doing what I expect any family member or good friend do: defend them.

Defend what he did no not necessarily. Don’t know the specifics of the accident but if he was just going fast and lost control I wouldn’t hate the guy for it, accidents happen it doesn’t seem like he tried to kill anyone and he wasn’t drunk or anything.

Depends on the situation. If they hurt someone through not giving a fuck about anyone else around them(like the o.p.'s post) or with malicious intent, hell no.

THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE JUST THINKING THIS IS A MISTAKE?

Wearing white socks with my black dress shoes is a mistake.

Negligent or malicious actions resulting in the injury or death of others is a fucking tragedy. If you are grown up enough to drive a car then you are adult enough to deal with the fucking consequences. I don’t understand the bullshit “it was a mistake” excuse everyone uses. What’s even better is when people cry for the person that fucked up. “Oh now they have to live with it for the rest of their life” or “they’ve been dealing with it for five years”. Who the fuck gives a shit? Not me and not the people that were affected…that’s who. At least this guy is still breathing unlike that little girl that is rotting in the ground.

The driver more than likely isn’t an evil person but they fucked up and now they have to pay. Part of truly supporting somebody is being there for them when they fuck up. The harder part is being the mirror that makes them face who they are and what they have done.

I certinely wouldn’t defend a friend in that situation, as he was in control (or should have been) of the vehicle - manslaughter is accidental, this was criminal negligence

[quote]caveman101 wrote:
I certinely wouldn’t defend a friend in that situation, as he was in control (or should have been) of the vehicle - manslaughter is accidental, this was criminal negligence[/quote]

That’s probably how I’d handle this case as well, sounds like it would have been avoidable with safer (read: reasonable) driving. Speeding is pretty common, but it sounds like the guy was swerving around cars to beat traffic lights and that shit is avoidable.

Crazy things do happen on the road though, and I would support a friend who had less agency in a crash.

[quote]fisch wrote:
Dudes brother handled it poorly yeah, but he’s doing what I expect any family member or good friend do: defend them.[/quote]

There’s a vast difference between having someone’s back by supporting them through a tough time and getting aggressive against critics. The person who the ‘brother’ was having it out with seemed pretty civil.

People who screw up aren’t beyond accountability, even friends. Without resorting to absurd hypothetical situations, I could support a friend through a degree of screw-ups related to his/her illegal activity, but there are definitely screw-ups that are bad enough to ruin a friendship.

I don’t condemn friends for breaking laws as long as such law-breaking doesn’t cause any ill effect on other human beings; as soon as their lawbreaking starts to harm others (intentionally or not), I’m not necessarily as forgiving. Depends on the situation, but IMO even good friends need to be conscious of the potential risks of their behaviors.

My kids dad was the driver in a hit and run and it took the police 6 months or so before they finally caught him.
When they did his entire family felt sorry for HIM, not for the kid he killed. His friends and his sister all got together and collected money to post his bail etc…

Poor him, his parents got divorced and he was an angry little child. He needs our unconditional love so that he can eventually become a good person.

Barf.

Nobody ever acted disappointed in him. It was all about supporting him during this time.

I contacted the family of the kid he killed and we ended up talking quite a bit. We shared in our hatred basically.
I felt/feel very ashamed that that person is my child’s father. A lot of times it will kinda slip my mind and then it hits me like, woah, he killed someone, and I get upset all over again.

If even one stupid person in his stupid family issued TOUGH LOVE instead of babying him maybe he would stop being such a pathetic waste of human flesh.

End rant.

I just want to say I’m a little confused given the Facebook convo in this thread and discussion in trayvon Martin thread. I mean, this demetri feller with a hispanic last name refers to himself as a n***er but we just learned in “black teen shot” that hispanics are actually white in the event one of them shoots a black. Clarifications please?

Also yes, I would defend a friend. Not necessarily a bro, mind you, but a friend.

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
I just want to say I’m a little confused given the Facebook convo in this thread and discussion in trayvon Martin thread. I mean, this demetri feller with a hispanic last name refers to himself as a n***er but we just learned in “black teen shot” that hispanics are actually white in the event one of them shoots a black. Clarifications please?

Also yes, I would defend a friend. Not necessarily a bro, mind you, but a friend.[/quote]

Leave it in the other thread.

[quote]GhorigTheBeefy wrote:
THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE JUST THINKING THIS IS A MISTAKE?

Wearing white socks with my black dress shoes is a mistake.

Negligent or malicious actions resulting in the injury or death of others is a fucking tragedy. If you are grown up enough to drive a car then you are adult enough to deal with the fucking consequences. I don’t understand the bullshit “it was a mistake” excuse everyone uses. What’s even better is when people cry for the person that fucked up. “Oh now they have to live with it for the rest of their life” or “they’ve been dealing with it for five years”. Who the fuck gives a shit? Not me and not the people that were affected…that’s who. At least this guy is still breathing unlike that little girl that is rotting in the ground.

The driver more than likely isn’t an evil person but they fucked up and now they have to pay. Part of truly supporting somebody is being there for them when they fuck up. The harder part is being the mirror that makes them face who they are and what they have done.[/quote]

If the driver meant to do it, it would be murder. He didn’t mean to, so that qualifies as a “mistake.”

It’s not a mistake that he SHOULDN’T pay for, but it is still a mistake.

I don’t think this kid is going to need anyone to make him “face who he is and what he has done” after this.

It’s a mistake that at one point or another, nearly every 17 year old kid who just got their license could have made. So I have more compassion for the person in this instance. It’s not like he shot them in a driveby