T Nation

Decline of Civilization?


Okay, so I just returned from the local steak house that's inundated with a Texas Roadhouse theme. Saturday is the night to have my weekly splurge of Jack Daniels on the rocks. As I was sitting in the bar after dinner, I was mesmerized by the TVs. ESPN was on and I was giddy as a schoolgirl because I figured a World's Strongest Man competition was on.

Yep, I performed my GPP work this morning (boulder lifting in the AZ heat) and I was smack dab in the middle of enjoying my whiskey when I suddenly fell very ill. WSM wasn't on. Nope, no vintage footage of Kaz pulling a bus or throwing a keg 20 feet in the air. What was on ESPN? A pie-eating contest. Yep, fat little fuckers inhaling blueberry pies. Is that what civilization is coming to? Are pie-eating contests now the new standard of athletic performance?

As I sat and absorbed the atrocity of the contest, I became curious why it was so hot in the bar, and why I was sitting in a handbasket?


Chad, chad, chad. Modern sporting eludes you. It isnt a contest, its a competition. And theyre all using your high frequency protocols (applied liberally to food intake regimes) to cause an overload and experience a training effect. So before you knock cutting-edge organized gluttonny; think outside the pie.



The hotdog eating cotest is kind of cool, but the habit of showing all kinds of eating contests that ESPN has gotten into lately is pretty lame. Now I've seen ads for some tabloid looking show about the Hollywood side of sports or somthing. Whats happening to ESPN? At least football is coming up, so that covers Sunday night, and you can always count on pretty good boxing on Tuesday and Friday nights during the Summer.


No Chad, it's hotdog-eating contests.

Pie-eating is a faraway second, but it's quickly gaining ground as young kids in highschool are starting to practice it.

I've also heard rumours that Nike are designing a pie-eating T-shirt that wicks away the blueberry juice and washes really well in cold cycle. Aparently the slogan for these new T-shirts will be "just eat it!", with the swoosh symbol replaced by a spoon.

That's exactly what we need for pie-eating to take off, a strong sponsor like Nike to start putting money into the sport.


It cracks me up to see that tiny little Japanese guy totally smoke guys that are twice his size. It's unreal how fast he eats.

Maybe we should have crossovers. Have Mariusz jump in on a spelling bee, and have that little 12 year old Indian kid try and pull a bus!


If you really want to be disgusted, change the channel and see what's on the REST of the networks! It is truly saddening what our culture chooses to entertain themselves with.


It's not much better on the other side of the pond :frowning:

And while I'm typing...I know it's been said before, but not by me: Gojira, that new avatar of yours leaves me gaping every time. Wow.

Can I please borrow your hammer and chisel now you've finished?


Who said I'm finished?


My theory is that the stupider the show you put on TV, the wider your potential audience is. Large viewer audiences equals more ad revenues, equals happy network executives.

British theater on PBS (sophisticated, high-brow entertainment): low viewership.

Big-titted blonde eating bugs on Fear Factor (stupid, but tittillating and gross): high viewership.

Your pie eating contest goes right into the second category. Low bugdet (unknowns eating pie is almost a zero dollar production), universally "appealing" (everyone eats and can "relate" to eating a lot of pie). Making a contest out of it provides just enough drama to interest enough viewers to make such a show a success. Sad, but true.


What about the tiny Oriental girl? There was a contest a few weeks back (not really themed, as they were eating basically huge plates of appetizers) where the little guy was matched with the little girl. The two of them together put away something like 22 pounds of loaded potato skins. Disgusting, yet I couldn't look away...


It seems we brainy folks are losing out on the race to spread our genes across the Earth...


Eating contest secret: If bread items like hotdog buns or hamburger buns are on the menu, shove them in your glass of water first for a soaking, then eat them.

Can't remember where I read that, but I filed it in my Big Book O' Knowledge I'll Never Use.

Oh, and oddly enough, most of the "champion" contestants don't starve before the contest. They eat breakfast and everything.


I think that has to do with keeping the stomach as expanded as possible, to keep the volume of the stomach as large as possible.


I found myself in the same situation last night (only it was Maker's Mark).

Were you still watching when they showed the "world rankings" in eating contests and did interviews?

It was mind-boggling... "so, tubby, you're currently ranked #4 in the world in eating competitions, tell us about your training."

And it only got better - "the top two eating competition athletes are Japanese...what do you think we can do to return the crown to America?"

At least the other TV was showing a college football season preview.


Oh... [humbly lowers his head and walks away, dragging his feet]


Part of the problem is the huge amount of cable channels, including sports channels. There is way too much air time to fill, so the networks find anything that slightly resembles "sport" to put on the air. I think the poker and billiards and spelling bees are equally stupid on the sports channels.


On a side note, how much JD do you allow on the weekly splurge and do you feel it is significant enough to adversely alter hormonal output?



The first show that comes to mind is that new MTV show with that retarded kid, andy milinokis. They reach a new level of stupid with that show. At least Jackass and beavis and butthead where funny back in day.


I don't know any of the competitors names, but one of the winners of the competition I watched was a little japanese guy who looked like he had low body fat and nice sized muscles. Even in eating sports the in shape people beat the fat asses.


I remember reading somewhere that fat people didn't do as well as expected in those competition because their intra-abdominal fat prevented their stomach from stretching to as large a size as some of their thinner competitors.