T Nation

Dealing With the Naysayers

Further to what some posters wrote in another thread, I was wondering how many of you have had people in your lives that have either a) generally been a hindrance to your bodybuilding goals or b) said or done something which motivated you to prove them wrong, when it came to your bodybuilding goals?

I really have started serious training over the past 6 months (I’m 23 now) - before then, I really believed that I wasn’t destined to be bigger than 130lb. It didn’t help that people reinforced this notion; one guy in particular, told me that I’d never be anything other than a skeleton. That, and a hundred other comments from relatives and close friends fuelled a fire that pushes me through the hardest of reps and sets.

I’m only sitting at 147 lb, but that’s a feck load more than I believed I’d reach. I can’t wait to continue putting on muscle, and too see their faces again. Ironically, they are collectively, the laziest people I ever met and in their slobbering ways have shown me exactly the kind of body I don’t want!

So, has anyone else had their naysayers, or inadvertant motivators who have given you an extra ounce of drive to reach higher? Those people who look at you funny because you take protein shakes (true story!) or the guy who says that he’s uncomfortable with you playing hockey on his time because you’re taking creatine (true story!!!)??

Well, last night someone I know went through the whole “bodybuilding stunts your growth” myth using improper appeals to authority to back her claim up (‘well my fighting trainer says so and he’s a trainer’ - fuck what you heard). I googled “bodybuilding stunts growth” and went through the entire first page where every result refuted the idea.

Anyway, people look at me weird whenever I start to outgrow my pants (I’m at that stage again right now godDAMMIT) and have a limited ROM, or when I carry around a shitload of food with me. But nothing serious.

Yeah, basically everyone around me is lazy and very ill disciplined which is what drives me to be better and more respectable than them. They don’t say as much stupid things as other people though. The hard part is when they do say something stupid me having to tell them otherwise.

all the un-disciplined people will always try to bring you down, because they are un-disciplined.

They are like crabs boiling in a pot.

Read “merry christmas bob” by Chris Shugart

I hit em in the face!

seriously…you hit enough people hard enough they won’t bother you anymore…

just throwing it out there as an option… :wink:

DG

isolate yourself from everyone.

no one says anything bad about what i do because theres no one to listen to.

id rather be by myself than people who suck.

My drive was a little bit different initially… When you grow up as an obscenely fat person, you get a lot of shit. I took it well, but I took it to heart. I told myself that I’d make sure that everyone I use know would drop their jaws when they saw me again.

So far it’s worked.

[quote]mallen5 wrote:
Read “merry christmas bob” by Chris Shugart[/quote]

Good recommendation, I’m gonna go dig it up right now. Sometimes you just have to tip your cap a little lower, keep your head down, and barrel through the criticisms.

I received a little criticism myself when I decided to change my field of study from engineering to kinesiology from family members, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Good responses guys - I suppose we can think of those people as a blessing in disguise since they propel us to achieve our goals.

I do have to deal with - a few times a week - one or two of my friends who gym it up once or twice a month on the crosstrainer or the treadmill, and who make comments about the protein shakes, and the fact that I’m trying to get bigger. They literally don’t believe that I’ll do it and call me up on it on most social gatherings. With that many people chatting crap, it can get embarassing/infuriating, but like one of the posters said above, I don’t humour them, just tip my cap lower and wait for the next time I can get to the gym.

I find that the people who can’t wait to tell that you gained 10 lbs are the last ones to say a peep when you exchange that 10 lbs of fat for 20 lbs of muscle.

Most of my family knows what I’m up to and all are supportative. Some people at work have commented that I look like I lost some weight, a few know what I’m doing.

I generally keep a low profile about my private life, anything that anyone knows can be held against you.

Let any negativity act as fuel towards your goals.

BG

[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
I find that the people who can’t wait to tell that you gained 10 lbs are the last ones to say a peep when you exchange that 10 lbs of fat for 20 lbs of muscle.

Most of my family knows what I’m up to and all are supportative. Some people at work have commented that I look like I lost some weight, a few know what I’m doing.

I generally keep a low profile about my private life, anything that anyone knows can be held against you.

Let any negativity act as fuel towards your goals.

BG[/quote]

Totally agree with the first paragraph - perhaps they use other people’s bodies to camoflauge their own insecurities.

people will always try to talk you down so they feel better about themselves.

being able to take what they say with a pinch of salt and then swiftly discarding their useless opinions is always a good idea:)

i still use what one girl said when i started training…“you will never build any muscle…you are too small”…since that day i have put on 50lbs…bitch!

If people are negative about something positive you are trying to do with yourself you can get by with one easy step.

Tell them to go fuck themselves.

Here is Life lesson number one!

Always asume/expect the worse of everyone and everything then when something bad happens it won’t come as a surprise and you won’t get caught off guard. But when all goes well and something good comes about it will be a pleasant and welcome surprise! If you stumble your way through life looking through rose colored glasses you will miss reality out of the corner of your eye and it will smack you like a bitch square in the face!

Life lesson number two people as a rule suck are irresponsible/unaccountable and out for them selves. Life is a game you can be a average player or a contender for the win.

You will never find a critic of bodybuilding, fitness or anything that takes effort looking like a fraking walking anatomy chart with unparalled fitness, but you may well find them to be out of shape, fat, bloated, soft, unhealthy, unattractive and lacking in general self worth.

Life lesson number three every body and everything in your life is fleeting and comes and goes but you have to live with yourself forever!

The majority of the naysayers are experts at everything but masters of nothing and are clearly superior in their ability to pontificate and expound their own superiority making them legend in their own mind.

While you realizing your own short comings i.e. “to thine own self be true” put the effort in to becoming the best you can be.

So at the end of the day when the soft lumps go home to their unhappy and probably equally unattractive spouses/significant others etc. and kick their fat stubby feet up and grab for the bag of cheetos while the plaque lays a foundation of impending heart disease rest comfortably knowing that their attempt at bringing you down only served to mask their pain. envy and unhapiness.

Just as they bring themselves up by trying to bring you down and proclaim they know the truth!

So do I and you will too in time they say women dont really like all those big muscles listen I have been training with ovr 20 yrs under my belt I have never not had a very attractive lady in my life and Ive never know another fellow Body Builder who didnt either and those women who might not like me or us I wouldnt be talking to them anyway so what’s the point? Get what I’m trying to say?

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT!

[quote]That One Guy wrote:
mallen5 wrote:
Read “merry christmas bob” by Chris Shugart

Good recommendation, I’m gonna go dig it up right now. Sometimes you just have to tip your cap a little lower, keep your head down, and barrel through the criticisms.

I received a little criticism myself when I decided to change my field of study from engineering to kinesiology from family members, but you gotta do what you gotta do.[/quote]

Oh man you really fucked up!

I just absorb it and unleash that shit on the weights … fuck everyone who says you can’t do something … there’s only one person who will ever be able to truthfully tell you you can or can’t do something in regards to yourself (mind, body, etc) and that’s you.

Fuckin haterz … fuck em

It’s been my experience that it’s impossible to train seriously or discuss training with people without the words ‘too big’ coming up on a regular basis. I generally follow that up with ‘why on earth would anyone train and decide, right up front, that they don’t want to succeed at it?’. Invariably that follows with some mindblowingly obese or twiggy person trying to lecture me about ‘just wanting to be healthy’.

Honestly, I could say it bothers me, but it doesn’t really. I like the excuse to rant at people.

If you think it’s bad dealing with these people outside the gym, just imagine being paid to train them.

I’ve heard all the comments. “Just want to be healthy” is probably the most oft-repeated one, especially among women.

Women are the biggest liars in the world. The only reason a woman goes to the gym is to get as skinny as possible. But they’ll never tell you that. All they ever want to do is “have more energy” or “be healthier for my kids” or some other bullshit. They’ll never say, “I need to slim down my fat ass”, even though that’s precisely the reason why they’re there. You have to be a mind reader. Or maybe a body reader, lol.

In the “real world” of commercial gyms, everyone wants to be skinny, nobody wants to lift weights, no one wants to stop eating carbs or start eating protein, and muscle gain is looked upon as some sort of disease. This is what trainers have to put up with. So if you are surprised that most trainers are skinny, aerobics-loving dummy’s, don’t be. They simply reflect their clients.

^ I feel you man. I was considering training as some sort of career but after seeing who I would be training… too boring. How many clients are you excited about? I think the housewives would be too much of a bore.