dealing with success (new oppurtunities)

Any of you guys (all grown up, not the 15 yoa’s) pushed your program for several years, been successful in achieving the look you want, and been surprised to find alot more female interest as a result. If single and it’s working, congrats. What about those of you who are married, with kids, responsibilties etc. and find that now you could, with very little effort, secure the sort of flat belly, high rise titty, hard body fuck buddy (or choose your term) maybe years younger, and hot as hell, that never used to come along. Anyone have any experience dealing with this sort of situation?

Keep your pickle in your pocket. I learned the hard way. Thank the good Lord for a loving and forgiving wife.

I second kohai
married 52 still have younger women show interest just not returned other than in a friendly way. Mama thinks I look good naked good enough for me.

I have experience dealing with that, and my best advice is to be a real man and honor your commitments.

I’m single and agree with everyone…keep your commitment.

Ditto the above. My wife is the greatest thing on this earth that God ever gave me. No way I’d screw up something that awesome for a little fling just because I can.

Just thought I would throw in a female perspective and well it is pretty much the same. Nothing is worth losing my husband. Nothing and no one! Also, I really respect all the T-Men post on here! Good to know you are all thinking with the right “head”!

Sex with someone else besides your loving (hopefully) partner, is just “different” sex, not always better. My suggestion is to be proud of your accomplishments, keep the ego in check, and keep stress free by loving and honoring your mate.

I think my greatest success and achievement would have to be my fiancee, we’re perfect for each other and getting married in Hawaii this winter. She’s all the woman I need, and she’s also my motivation for getting stronger and looking better, month after month, year after year.

I feel your pain brother. I’m 26, been married for six years with one kid. I now look almost completely different physically than I did in high school. I recently went back to college to get my BS degree and damn, if it ain’t like walking straight into the lion’s den. I don’t have many weaknesses, but when it comes to beutiful women, my resolve is challenged. I’ve always been faithful however, and do my best to keep my eyes fixed on God, not, on her, or her, or her…

I’ve spent many years working out and improving my physique. However, I have yet to meet a woman who gave a rat’s ass.

Oh absolutely! Here’s a little secret about women, all the young, hot ones are hugely motivated by an overwhelming desire to snag an aging, married, father of three. Provided he has six pack of course.

Savannah, sorry, but you’re wrong on this one. I understand what you’re saying, but the plain fact of male life is that it’s usually easier to snare the hottie when you’re 40 than when you’re 20. (This is assuming, of course, that you’ve spent the intervening 20 years somewhat productively.) You have more confidence, you have more experience, and of course you have more MONEY to spend on them (which, no matter what anyone says, is much more important to most women than having a six-pack).

The most telling difference, though, is the lack of raging hormones. When they’re younger, most guys will put up with all sorts of shit to get laid. They’re desperate, and thus at a big disadvantage. But as they get older the balance shifts, and by the time they’re 40 they’re the one who’re more in control. And “all the young hot ones” (okay, not all but a lot of them) go for that at least as often as they do the younger, studlier, no-fat-having college guys.

And, of course, once they do they make the pleasant discovery that guys are usually much better in bed after a couple decades’ worth of maturation… :wink: The six-pack is just icing on the cake.

You are oh-so-right! I find a man 35-45yo that is fit, financially stable (doesn’t need to be rich, just smart with what he has), reasonably intelligent and personable about 1000% more attractive than a 20-35yo with the same accutrements. There is an undeniable appeal to “maturity/worldliness/experience”.

I understand the challenge a person faces when they’ve made a committment to one person, then find themselves in a different place in life where opportunities are available that used to only be dreams. It can be very taxing to flip between the “what if” scenarios…Did I settle when making that committment…Do I deserve better…Can I get the excitement/flattery of new/different sex without losing the security of my partner…What if this person is truly more suitable for me? Besides ending up mentally exhausted from all these thoughts whirling around, you can’t help but withdraw emotionally from your partner and whether or not they address it, they feel it. And that is not fair to them.

Actually I agree with you. And I have always dated older men. They are better at everything, and appreciate the hell out of you. The money part is nice too, although that has never sealed the deal for me anymore than washboard abs have.

The difference is that I date older men without wives, children, and all the resposibilities that go with that. You are absolutely right about older men having more money to spend, and that part is nice, but how much is a married father going to have left for me? Not just financially but in terms of time as well. In addition to the overall creepiness of banging someone who you know snuck out after tucking the kiddies in and lying to their mother. Blech. Maybe it’s just me, but it reeks of Joey Buttofuocko(or however you spell it). If older men are your thing, there are plenty of fabulous single older men sans baggage, with the time, money, experience, confidence, sexual prowess, and charm, etc…

Well 'k: during the summer I was 21, I was dating a very successful corporate tax attorney who was 45. He had arrived here in Portland with NOTHING and built his wealth the hard way: he earned EVERY dime. And ended up selling his mansion to the tune of 1.5Million before he left for Sunny Ca. He took me to parties of city government-types and local celebs. We had a great time. All the while, never ever mentioning he was a “sugar daddy”. He indeed respected me. However, he was rather, hmmmmm, “insecure” and “inmature” for me. Really. I broke it off after he got upset when I wanted to be alone one night and he wanted to take me to dinner. Seriously. After that, I swore off older men. Age does not matter. It’s the person.

AND I have never questioned my commitment to Ko and neither has he question his to me. He and I are both in shape - and some would even consider attractive. But what others think does not matter - what matters most is what is going on between Ko and I in our li'l world. If you get my meaning.

I don't believe in "wondering if so-so is right for me" - I don't believe in questioning the commitment. It's either you do or you don't commit. Period. I don't notice other guys, and neither do I go wandering about and wonder if Ko is indeed the "right one" and maybe that guy, over there, could be right for me instead. Uh Uh - in the last five years, haven't done that at all.

Let me further clarify: is that “fuck buddy” going to be willing to put up with your moods, your “idiosnycracies”, your little 'habits"? Better yet, will she care? Probably not. And also: is she going to be there when times are rough? Will she be even a “friend”? Nope.

Just thinking out loud.

Karma (your last post wasn’t up yet when I posted mine), I pretty much agree with you as well. I am not really arguing whether single older men are more desirable. The men I date tend to be older. I don’t look for older men specifically, just find the ones I like end up having about ten years on me.

What I question is Tinman’s assumption that he could get something better simply becuase he now has a better physique, and why any woman would choose the very limited offerings of a married family man. What’s the use of a booty call you can’t even call? You can’t be seen together which vastly limits the places he can take you. The wife must have at least some awareness of their financial standing so his ability to be a sugar daddy is stunted. Assuming all those obtacles are somehow overcome, he is still a disloyal, dishonest, sneaky, shallow cheater with no respect for his commitments. How many hot young females settle for that? Let’s say he even leaves his wife for her, she now has a boyfriend twice her age with a hefty alimony payment and step children, along with the knowledge that he’ll likely do the same thing to her sooner or later. I just don’t think there is enough icing in the world to sweeten that cake. If he does manage to find this woman, and I do know that there are a few of them out there, they deserve each other.

I haven’t been all that active on the forum of late, so I figure I might as well add my two cents on the issue. I do not find older men (or any man, for that matter) attractive, nor do I ever expect to do so. However, I would certainly have no objection to serving as some rich, middle-aged woman’s 21 year-old boy toy, provided that she was willing to pay off all my current student loans, put me through grad school, and pay to outfit the training facility I eventually plan to open. Just wanted to let everyone know for three reasons:

  1. In case there was indeed a rich, middle-aged woman on the forum who would be willing to attend to the aforementioned matters.

  2. To take part in the art of debate.

  3. Because I am a wise ass:)

    Have a nice day.

Savannah: I think we are on the same page!

Patricia: I don’t “believe” in the pondering those “what if” scenarios either, but I’ve known too many people that have gone through it to not “believe” in it happening. And you’re absolutely correct with whether or not a fuck buddy is likely to be a true friend, or put up with odd habits or idiosyncracies, etc.

Eric: Hats off to a man that knows what he wants and what he’s willing to do to get it! Morally/ethically right or wrong, you have to know what you want if you are ever going to stand a chance at getting it.