I am pissed at them, I am pissed that I didnt see it coming, I am pissed that I trusted them, I am pissed that their parents never taught them to be decent people, and that they think money is all that matters, I am pissed that everything they have has been given to them, I am pissed that they have never had a hard day in their life, I am pissed that they would throw me under the bus at their own convienience, I am pissed that they wont say it to my face, I am pissed that I am looked down on for what I like, I am pissed that they were born, I am pissed that they breathe, I am pissed that they are ok with the fact that they think that just because they talk amongst themselves that I wouldnt find out sooner or later, I am pissed that they are the antithesis of everything that I have been raised on, everything that I have been taught, everything that I believe, everything that I AM...
I look in the mirror and I am pissed that I am not better than I am, that I struggle with certain things that are given to others, things that people take for granted, things that people throw away that I would fight until my dying breath to keep.
I look at this country, that my family has been a part of since the early 1700's, and I am pissed at the lack of community, I am pissed that people look after themselves instead of their neighbor, I am pissed that this country is selfish, and every day insults what my family has fought and died for for well over 230+ years. I am pissed that people have no respect for what is sacred to others, even if it is not sacred to them. I am pissed that the law protects some, and victimizes others.
I look at life, and I am pissed that people argue over small things and forget about the big picture, about how what they do affects everyone around them.
I am pissed that my future god-son/daughter will grow up in a world with these values. A world that has no concept of what it means to be a good person. I am pissed that no matter what I will teach him/her, he/she will still have people who try to bring him/her down.
I am tired of watching people who can make a difference sit on the sidelines and let others take a fall. I am pissed that there are people who dont care.
I do everything in my power to undo the above, and I realize that it will never be enough. I will keep working, in the face of insurmountable odds, with a smile, just for the sheer purpose of pissing off everyone who pisses me off.
I tomorrow, am going to wake up, and go to the gym and lift until I black out. God help the lazy motherfuckers who come to the gym and sit around, like the lazy pieces of shit that they are, on the equipment. Tomorrow my fuse will be short to say the least.
This is what is going through my head right now.