T Nation

Dealing with Loss/Change

I left for training camp 5 days ago and am struggling to adjust to my new life and schedule. Every minute of our day is planned out, which I can handle. But, for the last one and a half years, I have spent-not exaggerating- every single day with my girlfriend or at least some portion of it. I am having a very hard to filling her void, and dealing with this new relationship. I am also terrified that we will drift apart. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for any of the questions I have raised I would be very grateful to hear them.

Thanks

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

CS

Don’t worry about the future and don’t waste your time thinking about it. There is no way to cope with the future only this moment; Just let things go as they will and the chips fall where they may. If it is possible you end up wifeying this girl up then the distance alone for a while won’t change anything, Yeah it is going to be different and yes long distance relationships can suck but if it is that you two are sticking together then don’t worry, If something did happen then move on because maybe it was not meant to be… I have been in the type of relationship you mentioned where I spent basically every day with my girlfriend, We broke up so it made that all the more harder but regardless life goes on and it gets better. My current girlfriend and I are long distance and have been since april, saw her last month, again at the end of September and then I move at the middle of October… If there is any problems or stuff that is going to separate you too the long distance part only helps to speed up that process, however if you are going to be together then yeah it can be rough but it won’t change anything between you two in the long run…

Read The Peaceful Warrior or watch the movie on Netflix, may help to gain you some insight into a lot of things.

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago and am struggling to adjust to my new life and schedule. Every minute of our day is planned out, which I can handle. But, for the last one and a half years, I have spent-not exaggerating- every single day with my girlfriend or at least some portion of it. I am having a very hard to filling her void, and dealing with this new relationship. I am also terrified that we will drift apart. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for any of the questions I have raised I would be very grateful to hear them.

Thanks[/quote]

I’ll give you a little tough luv. Keep in mind that I’m not being “politically correct”, but I ask you to read what I’ve written without ego and with an open mind. Know that I wish you, and your generation, nothing but success in your endeavors - hence, the tough luv.

Lift skirt, grab balls to make sure they are still there. Spending EVERY DAY with your girlfriend is counter productive in the long run. View this as an opportunity of “giving her the gift of missing you”. If you lose her, she was never yours.

The fact that you are “terrified” of drifting apart speaks VOLUMES about who you are as a man and your level of maturity and evolution. You gotta be comfortable in your own skin and you gotta find your own path. Co-dependency does not move one in a positive direction. Not at your age.

Grow up, son. The only GUARANTEE in life (besides death and taxes) is change. Sometimes it will change for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes a decade later what you THOUGHT was for the worse was in fact for the better… But change and flow are inevitable. When you stagnate, you stop moving and you die - not necessarily physically, but your SOUL dries up and you just… settle. Keep moving as long as you can, figure out what your path is and WALK IT. She’s more than welcome to join you, but if she tries to take you from your path, you gotta let her go. Or settle. The choice is up to you. But whatever you choose, don’t whine about it.

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

Read The Peaceful Warrior or watch the movie on Netflix, may help to gain you some insight into a lot of things. [/quote]

X2 on the The Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman knows his shit and there’s a lot to be learned from those books - there are three of them.

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago and am struggling to adjust to my new life and schedule. Every minute of our day is planned out, which I can handle. But, for the last one and a half years, I have spent-not exaggerating- every single day with my girlfriend or at least some portion of it. I am having a very hard to filling her void, and dealing with this new relationship. I am also terrified that we will drift apart. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for any of the questions I have raised I would be very grateful to hear them.

Thanks[/quote]

I’ll give you a little tough luv. Keep in mind that I’m not being “politically correct”, but I ask you to read what I’ve written without ego and with an open mind. Know that I wish you, and your generation, nothing but success in your endeavors - hence, the tough luv.

Lift skirt, grab balls to make sure they are still there. Spending EVERY DAY with your girlfriend is counter productive in the long run. View this as an opportunity of “giving her the gift of missing you”. If you lose her, she was never yours.

The fact that you are “terrified” of drifting apart speaks VOLUMES about who you are as a man and your level of maturity and evolution. You gotta be comfortable in your own skin and you gotta find your own path. Co-dependency does not move one in a positive direction. Not at your age.

Grow up, son. The only GUARANTEE in life (besides death and taxes) is change. Sometimes it will change for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes a decade later what you THOUGHT was for the worse was in fact for the better… But change and flow are inevitable. When you stagnate, you stop moving and you die - not necessarily physically, but your SOUL dries up and you just… settle. Keep moving as long as you can, figure out what your path is and WALK IT. She’s more than welcome to join you, but if she tries to take you from your path, you gotta let her go. Or settle. The choice is up to you. But whatever you choose, don’t whine about it.[/quote]

^^ AC is back again, here’s where the SAMA/guys-locker-room forum gets missed ^^

If you plan to stay single, re-read and implement this x100

If you plan to settle down, at least make sure you aren’t the one doing the settling…

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago and am struggling to adjust to my new life and schedule. Every minute of our day is planned out, which I can handle. But, for the last one and a half years, I have spent-not exaggerating- every single day with my girlfriend or at least some portion of it. I am having a very hard to filling her void, and dealing with this new relationship. I am also terrified that we will drift apart. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for any of the questions I have raised I would be very grateful to hear them.

Thanks[/quote]

I’ll give you a little tough luv. Keep in mind that I’m not being “politically correct”, but I ask you to read what I’ve written without ego and with an open mind. Know that I wish you, and your generation, nothing but success in your endeavors - hence, the tough luv.

Lift skirt, grab balls to make sure they are still there. Spending EVERY DAY with your girlfriend is counter productive in the long run. View this as an opportunity of “giving her the gift of missing you”. If you lose her, she was never yours.

The fact that you are “terrified” of drifting apart speaks VOLUMES about who you are as a man and your level of maturity and evolution. You gotta be comfortable in your own skin and you gotta find your own path. Co-dependency does not move one in a positive direction. Not at your age.

Grow up, son. The only GUARANTEE in life (besides death and taxes) is change. Sometimes it will change for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes a decade later what you THOUGHT was for the worse was in fact for the better… But change and flow are inevitable. When you stagnate, you stop moving and you die - not necessarily physically, but your SOUL dries up and you just… settle. Keep moving as long as you can, figure out what your path is and WALK IT. She’s more than welcome to join you, but if she tries to take you from your path, you gotta let her go. Or settle. The choice is up to you. But whatever you choose, don’t whine about it.[/quote]

Damn well said man!

Oh one more book worth checking out similar to what AC said, The way of the superior man written by david de angelo I think

Also, the first 5 days of everything ( be it basic training or even a vacation) can feel like a month…then time starts to fly.

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago and am struggling to adjust to my new life and schedule. Every minute of our day is planned out, which I can handle. But, for the last one and a half years, I have spent-not exaggerating- every single day with my girlfriend or at least some portion of it. I am having a very hard to filling her void, and dealing with this new relationship. I am also terrified that we will drift apart. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for any of the questions I have raised I would be very grateful to hear them.

Thanks[/quote]

I’ll give you a little tough luv. Keep in mind that I’m not being “politically correct”, but I ask you to read what I’ve written without ego and with an open mind. Know that I wish you, and your generation, nothing but success in your endeavors - hence, the tough luv.

Lift skirt, grab balls to make sure they are still there. Spending EVERY DAY with your girlfriend is counter productive in the long run. View this as an opportunity of “giving her the gift of missing you”. If you lose her, she was never yours.

The fact that you are “terrified” of drifting apart speaks VOLUMES about who you are as a man and your level of maturity and evolution. You gotta be comfortable in your own skin and you gotta find your own path. Co-dependency does not move one in a positive direction. Not at your age.

Grow up, son. The only GUARANTEE in life (besides death and taxes) is change. Sometimes it will change for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes a decade later what you THOUGHT was for the worse was in fact for the better… But change and flow are inevitable. When you stagnate, you stop moving and you die - not necessarily physically, but your SOUL dries up and you just… settle. Keep moving as long as you can, figure out what your path is and WALK IT. She’s more than welcome to join you, but if she tries to take you from your path, you gotta let her go. Or settle. The choice is up to you. But whatever you choose, don’t whine about it.[/quote]

Damn well said man!

Oh one more book worth checking out similar to what AC said, The way of the superior man written by david de angelo I think [/quote]

That would be David Deida who wrote The Way of the Superior Man. Not to take away from Ebenezer Pagan (AKA David DeAngelo) That guy has some good stuff mixed in with the bullshit products.

Too bad they took down SAMA - before I could just link to something I’ve written before (like Confession/Question), now I’m gonna have to start repeating myself.

[quote]Nards wrote:
Also, the first 5 days of everything ( be it basic training or even a vacation) can feel like a month…then time starts to fly.[/quote]

Very true.

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago…
[/quote]

Training camp for what?

tweet

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Grow up, son. The only GUARANTEE in life (besides death and taxes) is change. Sometimes it will change for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes a decade later what you THOUGHT was for the worse was in fact for the better… But change and flow are inevitable. When you stagnate, you stop moving and you die - not necessarily physically, but your SOUL dries up and you just… settle. Keep moving as long as you can, figure out what your path is and WALK IT. She’s more than welcome to join you, but if she tries to take you from your path, you gotta let her go. Or settle. The choice is up to you. But whatever you choose, don’t whine about it.[/quote]

I wish that I could word things this way when I wanted to. Such very good points here.

OP, my husband and I spent three years at 1500 miles apart from one another. It depends on the relationship that you have. By this, I mean does she support you to become a better man and is willing to step back a little for now, as well as you for her? We (my husband and I) BOTH wanted to be with each other so badly that we dealt with some really awful and inconvenient circumstances. Keep moving in the direction you’re moving and if you’re meant to be, it will happen. Don’t be afraid of change, embrace it and take on life’s challenges.

[quote]theBird wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago…
[/quote]

Training camp for what?

tweet[/quote]

X 2 and it better be something good.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]theBird wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago…
[/quote]

Training camp for what?

tweet[/quote]

X 2 and it better be something good. [/quote]

Cant see video at work SS

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Cant see video at work SS[/quote]

Put on the sunglasses that Nards has. That may help.

[quote]super saiyan wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Cant see video at work SS[/quote]

Put on the sunglasses that Nards has. That may help.[/quote]

Sadly I am on our clients server and they block all video.

Frustrating.

I think of football when he says training camp, but by the way he talks it sounds like he enlisted and is in boot camp.

[quote]super saiyan wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]theBird wrote:

[quote]Vanagandr wrote:
I left for training camp 5 days ago…
[/quote]

Training camp for what?

tweet[/quote]

X 2 and it better be something good. [/quote]

HAHA sold, where do I sign up?!