DON’T FIGHT YOUR FEAR, MAKE CONTACT WITH IT
It’s hard to give some kind of advice over the internet, but here’s my .02
The human mind is an expert at analyzing, solving, judging,… It’s the product of 1000’s of years of human evolution and it’s made for one thing only: surviving. Imagine you live in the stone age. In the distance you see a shadow. Is it a bear or is it a bush with maybe some berries, you wonder. Your mind will probably tell you: don’t go near it, leave it be, you can get lunch many times, but you can be lunch only once. Your mind will choose the safest route.
Uncertainty, loss of control is the most threatening thing to a human mind. It’s the antithese of what a mind likes to do. Your mind needs a solution to a problem, WHATEVER the cost, it hates uncertainty. In the real world we became pretty good at finding solutions (fire, wheel, warm water, cars, electricity,…). But when it comes tot your emotions, you’ll see that your mind is powerless. You can analyze your emotions, searching for an answer or causes, try positive thinking, try medication, drugs or booze, avoid situations in which negative emotions arise,… It all might work for some time, but will these emotions really be gone? No, in trying to control negative emotions with your mind you can even create more negative emotions. Now you are fearing the fear, you’re depressed because you can’t control your depression, you get angry because you feel powerless,…
If this class is really meaningfull to you, you indeed know already what to do. Don’t fight your fear, don’t avoid it, just let it be. Gradually try to expose yourself to this fear. First by recalling your past experience, just let it come to you. Then you can try to imagine what it would be like to be in that situation again, be afraid, let the fear come to you, approach it like it is an old friend that you meet again, a forgotten part of you. Be curious. Then gradually expose yourself to smaller rooms and spaces and just feel the fear, but don’t judge it. You will notice your mind scream for an exit, but just observe. The more you do this, the more you adapt. Just do it gradually. There’s no need to speed things up. Don’t see your fear as an enemy, because then your fear will ALWAYS be fear, whatever the situation.
This class is what you seem to value, this is what YOU want. The only thing for you to do is act upon it and experience it without judging, thinking, analyzing,… How much time and energy are you losing over pondering, when there’s just one thing to do. You can’t “outwait” your fear.
(Can you hear your mind fight right now when you read this? “But I don’t want to, I can’t, what’s the point of this, I am weak, I will be too overwhelmed, this is BS, this will never work…”)