Hey dudes. Long time lurker, first time poster.
I’ve been dealing with depression most of my life, from my late teens though to my early 20s. It used to be just “oh I’m sad” but more recently I’ve been thinking if I can really be bothered with the rat races, what’s the point in me seeing 30? I’ve began entertaining the notion of just calling it all quits.
I’d rather not feel this way, but I’m not sure if I want to see a doctor about it. I’d rather not be drugged up, or told by some quack psychiatrist that it’s “muh toxic masculinity”. Least of all I wouldn’t want anyone to find out, people already laugh at me, and my family would just use it as ammunition against me.
Depression can be related to a ton of things. But, I know in my case, my low Test and fucked up hormone profile was a major contributor. You should get yourself checked out by a good Doc. If you don’t want to go that route, then there a some good private labs where you can discreetly get your own blood tests and have the results emailed to you. I use PrivateMDLabs.
Look on this site, there are posts about which tests to get.
I’ll give it a go. Generally the NHS won’t help people with low test, I don’t really have much money to spend on blood tests but I’ve got nothing to lose really. Worst came to worst I wouldn’t have any qualms self medicating test-e or test-prop.
I wouldn’t rule out talking to a professional, in fact I would recommend it. I hear you when you say that people laugh and your family may use it as ammunition and those responses would makes me hesitant about talking. But I know some amazing therapists. See them as you would a lifting coach, they all have different styles and disciplines, you may not like the first few, or you might.
I listened to stipe miocic on the Joe Rogan podcast and he talked about talking to someone and how useful it was.
As you are UK try CALM, campaign against living miserably and I’ll link up several others if you want them, and if I can.
There’s a world out there full of amazing things, don’t give up.
When I was suffering from depression and looking for answers, support and help I found a guy on youtube named bignoknow seek out his first videos they might help you they did for me. I also talked with my pcp who got me blood tests for my thyroid and male hormones. Later we found a good therapist. It took a year and half but I got thru it. There is a way thru this just keep working at it one day at a time.
Hey dude. I’m in a similar position. A couple of things:
It can get better, and the best way to start is speaking about it with people who like and care about you. You have the potential to do great things, and to unlock it you need to find people who are willing to help cultivate that.
If you want to take a look at hormones and are getting shat out by the NHS, try medichecks. They do a good and cheap service, and I can get you a 10% discount code for their test - their TRT check plus is a good deal and covers all the labs you need.
If you learn you need medication, whether it’s thyroid replacement, testosterone, or an antidepressant, think of the medication as you would a brace for a sprained ankle.
When an ankle is sprained, it can’t fully perform its proper functions. A good brace enables the ankle to work right and allows the person to live a full life and feel good doing all the activities they normally would.
The same goes for medication - it’s a pill or injection-shaped brace for an endocrine system that can begin to function properly when put into the healing environment the brace provides.
When I say I’m opposed to medication I meant more that I’d rather not live out my days on anti depressants. I’d have no problem using any kind of TRT of that was the issue.
Most simply don’t care, like I’ve said I know for a fact that my parents would use it as ammunition. I think my brother sees straight through it though, and a guy at the gym messaged me on Instagram asking if I was okay. Maybe it would be worth my while talking to one of them?
Also I haven’t been to the NHS yet, but they’ve got a reputation for not really wanting to deal with these issues. Dude at my gym had testicular tortion and was producing like 200ng/ml or something, was told he was fine so he started doing bi weekly test e injections.
Talk to a real professional right now, suicidal ideation is no joke. Even if you have to pay him/her yourself. Depression is an illness, and it can kill you. Think of depression like cancer and treat it like the killer it is, that is to say… fight it.
For people to find, I’d recommend branching out. Speak to the guy at the gym who got in touch, and also try to find some hobby or interest groups where you can also make friends. If necessary, you can also chat about things to someone you just know online - people on this very forum are prob happy to chat.
As for TRT, I agree. Hence I’d recommend Medichecks if you want the test. While private clinics aren’t affordable, if you need TRT you can self-dose if you really don’t want to tolerate the NHS messing you around - you just need a low and continuous dose of the same steroids many lifters use.
I follow. Taking an antidepressant is as simple as swallowing a pill with breakfast or dinner - not a major imposition to get an endocrine system firing on all cylinders Since our food, beverages, and lifestyles don’t give us the nutrients we need, and because bodies can get wonky too, sometimes we need to turn to medical help to get working well again. Time will tell what your body needs to get feeling good again.
Antidepressants have side effects. They also treat depression. It sounds like your depression is severe enough to warrant dealing with the sides.
Different antidepressants of different classes and even within the same class have their own individual side effect profiles and each individual will react differently.
I tried the AD lexapro. It was a bad fit for me. It simply replaced anxious depression with a lethargic numbing depression. I now take nortriptyline which is actually a much much older AD than lexapro and it actually works a ton better despite having a reputation of having much worse sides. It actually improves my ability to feel a broad range of emotions while reducing anxiety and lifting my mood. It did cause weight gain during titration and even now it will sedate me. I use the sedation to my advantage and take it at night and I feel more refreshed in the morning.
My point isn’t that you should try nortriptyline. My point is that it will more than likely take some trial and error to find the right med or med combo.
Also, the meds won’t fix everything. However, they will be a useful tool to help you pull yourself out of this funk. A therapist would be instrumental to this.
Yes, some therapist are hippie dippy, but others can be the total opposite and be of an extremely rational practical mindset. Some people need empathy, someone to talk out their feelings with, and a shoulder to lean on and others like myself do better with someone very down to Earth and view things more impassionately and analytically with a troubleshooting frame of mind. A good therapist will also be able to take a read on you and figure out what’s a better fit for you.
If you’re experiencing suicidal ideation, that is thoughts of suicide to the point that there are times it actually sounds like a viable option then understand that this is part of the insidious disease that is depression. It’s not you anymore than a malignant tumor is a cancer patient. Depression can very much be like a cancer of the mind. Fight it like a cancer patient fights for their life because your life may very well depend on it as much as that cancer patient.
Have you asked? I went to my GP, told him my symptoms, and he arranged a test for me the following Monday. Turns out it was normal so my problems are elsewhere.
Also, you don’t have to tell anyone you went to a doctor about your mental health, and it’s confidential between you and him. There’s absolutely no shame in it. Bigger, tougher men than me and you have broken down and sought help.
I doubt any therapist would give you a hard time. That’s not their job. They’re there to help you find solutions.
Since our food, beverages, and lifestyles don’t give us the nutrients we need, and because bodies can get wonky too, sometimes we need to turn to medical help to get working well again. Time will tell what your body needs to get feeling good again.