T Nation

Dealing With a Violent Bipolar Woman

Hi T-Nation peeps. This question goes out to all psychiatrists, psychologists, former and Current Condo Board Members of ANY building, or those who have dealt with someone suffering from severe bipolar disorder. Ok here goes:

There is a woman in our building who makes a blood sport of attacking Board Members in our building (she is not herself a Board member); she particularly targets the Board President. And, we’ve had three different Presidents in three years because of this woman with BPD. She will send the Board an email demanding that something be done (usually something silly or not worthwhile). When she is ignored she waits in the lobby until a Board Member comes home from work, and she verbally assaults them.

We know from an email she sent the Board a year ago that she suffers from Bipolar disorder. Her behavior has caused a lot of problems for the Board-- basically distracting the board from many important projects that the building faces. There have been weeks at a time where we have been forced to deal with her nonissue when bigger issues have loomed. Now noone wants to run for the Board.

We have tried sending her letters from our attorney to stop the harassment. She just gets worse. One friend told me that she needs to be publicly humiliated/embarrassed, then she will stop. I’m not so sure, but am willing to try this unless I hear another idea. Any doctors out there know how to handle this person? Any condo dwellers been in this situation and tried something that worked? Any lawyers who deal in behavioral harassment law? I do not practice that area of law, and the only information I can find in my research addresses sexual/ex-spousal harassment, as opposed to verbal harassment of neighbors and condo board members. HELP!

how do we deal with the longest thread title in history from a guy pulling his pants down way to far in his avatar?

Sorry I couldn’t actually help with the problem lol

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
how do we deal with the longest thread title in history from a guy pulling his pants down way to far in his avatar?

Sorry I couldn’t actually help with the problem lol[/quote]

Ha! Sorry. I should have been less verbose. Are my pants really too far down? If you think I’m bad, you should see the thugs who live next door to me. They have their pants down around their ankles usually.

[quote]Rob in WDC wrote:
CrewPierce wrote:
how do we deal with the longest thread title in history from a guy pulling his pants down way to far in his avatar?

Sorry I couldn’t actually help with the problem lol

Ha! Sorry. I should have been less verbose. Are my pants really too far down? If you think I’m bad, you should see the thugs who live next door to me. They have their pants down around their ankles usually.[/quote]

And you are right behind them?

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:

And you are right behind them?[/quote]

Clever. NO, they’re not my ‘backdoor neighbors.’ Your wit is like crab claws on a chalkboard. But no, even if I ‘swung that way’ I would not be right behind them no…they NASTY!

well glad to see you changed the title…now my first post makes no sense lol

On a serious note, I lost the love of my life to this disease. We literally broke up because of it. The problem with those that suffer from bipolar is that they don’t feel they need their medication. They feel normal and quite often, most of the times they are “normal”. When they go into a manic state, they don’t know what is going on. The only way to manage the disease is by medication - so its a viscious cycle.

I don’t know the involuntary committment laws in your State, but usually you can only have someone committed upon showing they are a danger to themselves or someone else. The attacks you describe, if they become physical or are threatening enough, could qualify.

However, that does not solve the problem. Why? Because they don’t know/realize what the heck they are doing. If they are commmitted, they will be medicated but at some point released. Whether they stay on their medication thereafter is another story. In essense, it’s often a life long struggle for those that suffer (and for those around them).

[quote]CrewPierce wrote:
well glad to see you changed the title…now my first post makes no sense lol[/quote]

Hey, I didnt change it…I think the moderator changed it. He probably felt the same way you did! ha!

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
On a serious note, I lost the love of my life to this disease. We literally broke up because of it. The problem with those that suffer from bipolar is that they don’t feel they need their medication. They feel normal and quite often, most of the times they are “normal”. When they go into a manic state, they don’t know what is going on. The only way to manage the disease is by medication - so its a viscious cycle.

I don’t know the involuntary committment laws in your State, but usually you can only have someone committed upon showing they are a danger to themselves or someone else. The attacks you describe, if they become physical or are threatening enough, could qualify.

However, that does not solve the problem. Why? Because they don’t know/realize what the heck they are doing. If they are commmitted, they will be medicated but at some point released. Whether they stay on their medication thereafter is another story. In essense, it’s often a life long struggle for those that suffer (and for those around them). [/quote]

First let me say, I’m so sorry to hear you lost the love of your life. I know it’s difficult to find love in the first place, but to lose it to something like this is devastating.

In any case, this is very useful information for me. It explains a lot about what is going on in her mind when she is dealing with the Board. I appreciate the information a lot.

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
On a serious note, I lost the love of my life to this disease. …[/quote]

Don’t bring down the thread!

Pro:

They’re usually fucking amazing in bed (Tory Lane, Aurora Snow status)

Con:

They’re batshit crazy (Aileen Wuornos status)

Bipolar and BPD (borderline personality disorder) are two different things but very similar reactions towards peoplea round them.

Their perception of reality makes them nearly impossible to deal with… It’s truly like they deal in opposites.

[quote]Xen Nova wrote:
Pro:

They’re usually fucking amazing in bed (Tory Lane, Aurora Snow status)

Con:

They’re batshit crazy (Aileen Wuornos status)

Bipolar and BPD (borderline personality disorder) are two different things but very similar reactions towards peoplea round them.

Their perception of reality makes them nearly impossible to deal with… It’s truly like they deal in opposites.
[/quote]

Problem is, I think she is a lesbian anyway-- she hangs out with all the lesbians in the building at the very least (ok, I normally don’t subscribe to guilt by association, but I have never seen her with a man, ever!). But she is also ugly, so on top of it all, I would have no interest in tapping it. So, fucking her wouldn’t be an option regardless.

[quote]Rob in WDC wrote:
Xen Nova wrote:
Pro:

They’re usually fucking amazing in bed (Tory Lane, Aurora Snow status)

Con:

They’re batshit crazy (Aileen Wuornos status)

Bipolar and BPD (borderline personality disorder) are two different things but very similar reactions towards peoplea round them.

Their perception of reality makes them nearly impossible to deal with… It’s truly like they deal in opposites.

Problem is, I think she is a lesbian anyway–…[/quote]

I thought she was bi?

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:

I thought she was bi?[/quote]

Zap, if you ever saw what she looked like, you’d realize it doesn’t matter if she is bi or gay…no way would you tap it. Plus, she might slit your throat at the end. She IS batshit crazy. And a pathalogical liar, so she’d pass a polygraph when they came looking for your body.

LOL@ zap

Is this her? I’d hit it.

I don’t think the public embarrassment would do a thing. Does she ever have periods where she doesn’t bother you? If she truly has BPD there should be some transient points where she can be reasoned with. Then again, you don’t want to come looking for her when she’s at her lowest point either.

So, you guys own these condos? There’s got to be some action you can take through the home owner’s association rules. They’re usually draconian and give the board a lot of power.

Getting her committed is not a bad idea either, and probably better than just evicting her. I think you just call the county/city and they’ll point you in the right direction.

Maybe if you knew a “high priced corporate lawyer” thats not a racist, they would know what to do…

[quote]HoratioSandoval wrote:
I don’t think the public embarrassment would do a thing. Does she ever have periods where she doesn’t bother you? If she truly has BPD there should be some transient points where she can be reasoned with. Then again, you don’t want to come looking for her when she’s at her lowest point either.

So, you guys own these condos? There’s got to be some action you can take through the home owner’s association rules. They’re usually draconian and give the board a lot of power.

Getting her committed is not a bad idea either, and probably better than just evicting her. I think you just call the county/city and they’ll point you in the right direction.[/quote]

Horatio, it’s funny you mention the transient points. She does have them, and she uses them to her advantage. She comes out of her condo a lot more often during these periods, and is super nice to everyone. A lot of people can’t believe she even has BPD because they only see her during the good periods. It’s when she is having the bad periods that she sends horrific emails to the board, and lies in wait for Board members in the lobby.

Other residents just walk by and assume she is waiting for a friend. One time she followed me onto the elevator, and got off on my floor (she doesnt live on my floor!). She then proceeded to verbally assault me about a board decision. The only reason we know is, as I said, she admitted it in an email.

Our attorney has sent her TWO cease and desist letters and demanded that her only contact with the Board be in writing via the property manager. She doesn’t listen. The rules are draconian to a degree, but fines for harassment are maxed at $5…this rule was made in 1969 when the building was first built and it can only be changed with a bylaw change which would take a vote at the annual meeting.

She OWNS her condo…dont ask me how, because she can barely keep a job for a week. She bought it when prices were really low about 15 years ago. So, getting her committed is the only real option in terms of getting rid of her. She could potentially be there a while…she is 40 years old.

[quote]shaddeau34 wrote:
Maybe if you knew a “high priced corporate lawyer” thats not a racist, they would know what to do…[/quote]

Attorneys who practice civil harassment law are hard to come by. It just doesn’t pay the bills. There aren’t enough poeple harassing each other, I guess.