T Nation

Deal Pool-Forum Edition

Alrighty. Time for The Dead Pool forum edition. Names have been changed to protect the damned.

Nathan Doberman- This character seems like an all around nice guy. That makes it so painful to put him here. A little known fact about him is that he once was a gator, but has since morphed into a dogg. But, sadly, he enjoys sitting close to the action at professional wrestling matches. So close that he puts himself in danger of being hit by one of those metal chairs that the wrestlers love to hurl. Lets just hope that this genuinely nice guy wises up soon and deviates from his deadly risk-taking behavior.

MucousMind- To be honest, I never anticipated him to be in the Pool. He has always portrayed himself as an eloquent, intelligent and humorous individual -clouds above the average poster. They say though, that genuis is next to insanity. This guy certainly has been proving that lately as he has been delving further into his insane theories. I predict that pretty soon he'll be smothered to death under a pillow by a Big Indian escaping from the mental ward.

Theo CIA- He hasn't posted at all lately which makes me wonder if he got ahold of some genuine l-tryptophan through his dealers in the shady "alternative nutrition" biz.

Michael Mentzir- He is actually a washed-up, has-been, never-been Olympia who for some reason posts every now and then on this site, even though he's constantly barraged with insults. And, every time he posts, winds up making fun of himself! A man this pathetic will certainly off himself fairly soon. And the sooner the better.

So, that's it for this edition of forum Dead-Pool. Place your bets and read the gossip columns and good luck!!

Uhhh, not having a go here, just wondering what the point is…?

Marty- This fellow likes to “wonder what the point is” alot. Curiosity killed the cat, and, if Marty keeps up his wrecklessly inquisitive behavior, his 9th life will come to a tragic end.

Grim Reaper, nice one bro! I liked it. So you think ole Nate Doggy Dogg is on the dead pool list? I guess I’ll have to be more careful about my high-risk behavior. Don’t worry, I didn’t get hit by any flying steel chairs. And I won’t be attending anymore wrestling events for quite some time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Bow wow wow wow, yippy yo, yippy yah!

This was really funny and cleverly written, obviously parodying the writing style of the regular Dead Pool. The tone was right on. Was this written by a staff member? It was too well written. Was it you, Chris Shugart?

Not me, Hyok. I wouldn’t have had the time honestly.

The Grim Reaper’s statements are not based on objective reality or factual science. His claims are about as factual as man landing on the moon (as we all know it was faked in a Hollywood studio)or that the Earth is round (Platygaeanism is the only geological theory that Ayn Rand would approve of!) Also, your claim that I somehow “make fun of myself” in all of my posts is totally ludicrous!

You think I’m crazy?? I’m not! If I was, then why is it that the CIA, the FBI and the NSA are all after me. They want to suck all of the juices out of my brain so that they, too, can learn the secrets of the hidden world. But you can’t let them. Also, if I were crazy then why is it that Mike Mentzer’s theories make so much sense? I’ve gotta go now… they’re on to me!

I shit bigger than you.

How about Jason RantBrain-he has the ability to get a thread off track faster than a speeding bullet, and manages to piss off people of all religions,colors, and creeds in just one paragraph.