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DC Test Fest - Strong Words


"I've got four levels: Shit, Suck, Good, and Great" Dave Tate



That was a great chioce man.

every presenter with exception of Dan John He didnt find a place to fit it in.


Or as Cosgrove would say "Pussay"



That's an interesting way to phrase it Phill... =-)


OMG, I haven't laughed so hard. Good call, BB, it's all in the wording.
And I think Cosgrove said, "Pooosey".



The Test Fest may be over but behind the scenes the hits keep coming. One of the perks I get I suppose. I have to add a Classic quote I got from Alwyn in an email.

"One final question; if you could only choose ONE exerc....?"

I said "reading". Wish I'd have said "FUCKING LISTENING!!!!" Alwyn Cosgrove

Jump in here all with quotes you have I want to use them for the site in throwing up. We want all the take home messages to come from those who listened to it. Not what they hope you took from it but what you actually did.



That was the most uncomfortable (but hilarious) moment of the Test Fest. I don't know who it was who asked that question and (even worse) kept on pestering Dave Tate of all people (who had an ENTIRE presentation that ran completely contrary to that question) to answer... but did you even attend the same seminar I did??? WTF? LOL


I thought Dave was going to get up and eat him.


Most useful quote, courtesy of Dan John: "Break my finger".

War declaration, Dave Tate to Alwyn Cosgrove: "It's not functioning? I thought you were the functional guy."


Alwyn Cosgrove to a certain young lassy in the audience "We need to be quiet, people are trying to listen to ME now."



Chris Shugart- "You look the way you feel you deserve to look." and "You can't 'kinda sorta' want to lose weight."

I thought that those were two GREAT points that can also be applied to making gains as well.

Dr. Ryan- I learned about his little towel roll for the back and why it is very useful. I think that will help me a lot especially once school starts up here again in a week. And, I have to admit, I had been using shitty form on my pull-throughs. Thanks to Dr. Ryan for preventing a possible low back injury!

Alwyn Cosgrove- Like I could understand his accent...Ok, I did pick this up (I ordered his bible too...) "Methods are many, Principles are few. Methods change, Principles remain the same."

Dave Barr- There's this thing called the Anabolic index...Delay your PWO Shake by 15 minutes for better results (as opposed to as soon as the weight hits the floor). Alcohol (how much?) is a -5 on the Anabolic Index. Fasting and fasted cardio is BAD. Nocturnal feedings are good. "Never be protein fasted."

Dan John- I liked his followup to the Staley Boot Camp presentation. The "Death Spiral"..."Real death is hard to achieve and I argue that Perfection is miles harder!!!" or "It is easier to go from obese to normal than it is to go from normal to elite." And that is where most of us at the Test Fest were..."Normal". Everyone is searching for that "perfect program" or whatever else can take us to the next level. Well Dan John suggested TESTING whatever new lift/supplement/change that you are using by going down to your Base Diet/WO/Recovery/Supplements and adding your new item in and observing.

Ok, and one last little thing I learned or was reenforced from before. Saturdays go into the gym or outside and just do a bunch of different things to change it up and have fun! Don't be anal about what weights or amount of sets you use.

Dave Tate- Make the breakthrough...Ok, I didn't write anything down, I kinda just sat there in awe and listened...But I did take home some points: Make the breakthrough from doing "programs" to doing what feels right for your body. There is no PERFECT exercise or set/rep scheme. Do what works for you (anouther Dan John principle I believe). You need to be able to flip on the intensity when you get under the bar, but turn it off when you're not under it.

Dave Tate and Dan John were a great 1/2 punch of down to earth, no bullshit advice and motivation.

Those are the main points from each presentation that stuck with me.



Chris Shugart: "Stop fucking fat people!"

Dr. Ryan: "You want to know the best advice for preventing a lower back injury? Are you ready for this? Write it down. GET UP AND MOVE!"

"This is one of the lower back exercises you can do, oh wait, where's Nate Dogg? I better watch out, he might grab my ass!"

Alywn Cosgrove: "Poosey."

Dave Tate: "Eat pussy."


I think the best follow-up question was the guy who asked Dave Barr: "How long does that whole alcohol effect last?" [my paraphrase]

The timing was classic if you don't think it's as funny as I remember it...


Some how I don't think that is the sentence either!


Yep and then Dr. Ryan say that you were within arms length -- too funny.


Chris Shugart -- in regard to the percent of obese people. " I think that number is alittle low -- Have they been to a fucking Wal-Mart?" Front butts everywhere.


haha, that was me who asked that, got a much bigger laugh than I expected considering I was really hoping he would know the answer...


It was the timing that made it so funny. By the way, Bauer97 is one big fucker. I was right behind you (view being blocked) during the seminar. Too bad you didn't make it to Schula's and then to The Whale.


Punch me and call me the 'one-exericse question guy' if i'm wrong but...

I swear I heard Dan John say

"What am I, an AIDS dipped hand grenade??"

If I imagined that one, it's time for therapy.



Nope I think you heard him right........