T Nation

Dating younger women -- not just for a cheap fling

Hey, whats your opinions on a guy dating younger women in the pursuit of a serious long-term relationship. (i.e. not for casual sex or a cheap fling) I’m talking about someone mid-twenties dating someone just starting college. Seems like all the ‘good’ girls have all gone around the block far too many times by the time they hit their mid-twenties. Your thoughts?

No. Not for moral reasons, as many will want to argue, but for practical ones. You’re in different stages of life (college vs. work), and different stages of emotional maturity. You’re setting yourself up to get stomped on, when she meets some fratboy and decides she wants to take a spin around that aforementioned block. Even worse than that, you won’t be a part of her social circle. Most girls I know want a guy that is involved (or could be involved) with her group of friends. Trust me, this happened to me a couple of years ago, and it wasn’t pretty in the end.

Don’t do it. She has yet to experience life and have a good time. Even if she has good intentions I doubt she’s ready to settle down, and if she thinks she is she may resent you in the future. FYI, if you want to meet a ‘good girl’ in her mid twenties, you had better be a good boy.

While this can theoretically work, the cases where it has worked are statistically insignificant.

That’s a definition of a “younger” woman? Nah. If it were me dating a woman starting college, or even finishing up her fourth PhD program, now THAT would be a younger woman. :frowning:

So what are you saying Avoids… a younger woman for me would be one in her last year of high school?

To me it really depends on the person you will be dating…the others are right more than likely it wont work…unless you meet a girl whos not wrapped up in all that sorority greek frat boy shit…i mean they are out there but not many and most are taken…of course i live in the south so girls are a kinda different down here…well good luck

Don’t do it. I just got dumped by a younger woman and it totally blindsided me. I come home from work and there she is in the driveway with her shit waiting for a cab. I said what the hell are you doing? She says “I’m leaving you” I say “Why?” And she says “I just found out you’re a pedophile!” I said “Pretty big word for a 10 year old!”

I see Rookie’s gotten you all worked up talking about poppin’ cherries. Your best bet is to look for really homely looing things in the campus library around 10 p.m. on Friday nights. Happy Hunting.

I must have missed rookie’s post. But thats not my intention (see first msg of this thread).

Gov, read attempted humor into my post.

Avoids, i know, i know… i was just playing along with the joke!

Would you rather they go around the block while with you. Or would you prefer to wait until they have been burnt cheating on someone else? hmmm. Ok one major human anatomy lesson you should really listen too. Humans do not develop their frontal cortex until they are 19years old. That means they have the mind and maturity of a chimp up until that time. AT that time they “BEGIN” to realize who/what they are really like… That being the case seriously dating anyone 19-22 is just a plain waste of time. They do not know who/what they are yet… So say you hit it off great then get married (or commit longterm get a tat of them whatever) then they grow up and you don’t like them at all. Well case in point ask anyone who married young if they would suggest it?! Answer NO. Young is fun and innocent and naive. However be very careful to examine your own reasons for wanting those three things. It could just be the preditor in you? Good luck Peace,

“In the pursuit of a long-term serious relationship.” Hmmm. I have a real problem with that statement. I realize that we all ultimately want to find someone to commit to forever, however, do most people begin dating someone with that end goal in mind? I know I sure didn’t! From what I notice, people ask others out on dates because they are attracted to them for one reason or another. They continue to date because they enjoy each other’s company. If, in the long run, something more lasting and permanent comes of a relationship, great. But I don’t really see that initial pursuit is with a long-term committment in mind.
I just think it sounds weird to decide in advance to pursue younger women with the intent to make one of them a permanent girlfriend or wife. These things usually just happen on their own after some investment in the relationship. As for the age difference, working world and beginning college is just worlds apart. Your expectations and the girl’s expectations will be completely different, as is true for interests. Someone finishing college might be closer to where you are at.

“Humans do not develop their frontal cortex until they are 19years old. That means they have the mind and maturity of a chimp up until that time.” Oh really? Then why don’t we have an epidemic of 19-22 year olds throwing their own feces and masturbating in public? Then again, that sounds kind of like what happens on those MTV Spring break shows…

Hmmm. No frontal cortex development… thats bad! On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind being a college student again… (except for all those damn tests) because I love learning about anything. True a lot of people need to ‘find themselves’ during that part of their lives, but I’m thinking thats where you need to be choosy in who you decide is worth that kind of long-term investment. I had 2 good buddies (from before / during college) and we’re still good friends even after all that cortextal developmental changes.

I have no problem with it. Like any other relationship, you have to sit down, talk about your goals, and at what point each of you are in life.

Let me share with you a quote that was given to me once by a wonderful young lady who had strong feelings for me:

…And as long as your experience blends with her intuition; your history with her future, and your love with hers…

Count your blessings…for you are indeed a lucky man…

…She was really beyond her years…for a lot of other reasons, it just wasn’t going to work out, THE LEAST of which was our age difference (12 years)…

Well Mufasa, gotta ask you a question here.

You were telling me in your previous post about a girl that you had a relationship with and you were 12 years apart. I’ve been talking to this awesome girl and she is just about to start her first year at college, move away from home, etc. I guess it was unfortunate that I met her while she still lived at home because her parents didn’t like the idea of her hanging out with me (being 8 years older than her)

There are a few cards against the relationship… the other thing was that it is long distance (unless I decide to move out where she is going to go to school which might happen if she wanted it to). Anyways, we haven’t talked for about a month now except for a few quick emails here and there. And she’s been having serious issues with her friends and a lot of other things. Now she doesn’t want to talk to me because her parents don’t want her to. Anyways, I intend to give her her space to sort out everything, and to make amends with her parents but I was wondering if there was anything else to do?

10 years diffrance rule I think works…for example if you are 40 and she is 30 I think thats okay but if you are 40 shes 25 I might think thats too young so will your parents and her parents I don’t even think they will go for it… Hell you could be her father for pet sake… But what the hell if your intentions are good and it is true love nothing will seperate you not even age!!! Only if if its true love and nothing else…

Somebody once mentioned that guys use a formula to calculate minimum age for dating. They take their age, divide it in half and then add 7 to come up with the minimum (youngest) age to date acceptably. I.E., if you are 26, 13 plus 7 is 20, therefore 20 would be the youngest the girl should be. Just thought I’d offer up the suggestion.