I know - mainly just busting your proverbial balls
I would say it like this:
They also like
Helps to have both, but Iād concentrate on the former - the latter will likely follow.
get over it. Thatās all there is to it. Your personality is likely not as great as you think it is, as I know plenty of guys who can attract very attractive women, at your height. Being funny goes a LONG way, but donāt make your sense of humor self-deprecating. That doesnāt go well. Confidence does. Real confidence, which is something you clearly need to work on.
Itāll probably also get easier when you get a little older. Iāve found dating to be much easier as Iāve aged. And making money will help you too. It will make you more appealing to a broader range of women, and youāll likely also be a more confident person. It goes a long way.
If youāre using dating profiles, DO NOT LIE ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT. This will get you shut down faster than anything else you can possibly do. Almost every woman Iāve talked to who has had a dating profile for more than a few months has told me theyāve been on a date with someone who lied about their height, and that they would have potentially been interested had it not been for the lie.
All that being said, You DO need to realize that there will be women who will flat out shut you down because of your height. And thatās fine. Some women only date black guys. Some women only date tall guys. Some only date muscular guys. Some only date rich guys. Whatever. Weāre allowed to have physical preferences. I would bet 80%+ of women would not shut out a 5ā7 guy simply based on height. That leaves a whole hell of a lot of women out there for you, if you can get everything else right. So do that.
wives are taller than husbands only 6.5% of the time. Letās be honest here, girls want the guy to be taller, but itās not a deal breaker, you can work around it.
Take all of the advice given here, and also donāt hold your breath for girls that are taller than you.
My GF of 6 years is my height (Iām 5ā-6 3/4")ā¦ok she has like 0.375" of height on me, if that .
As a shorter-than-average Man, donāt do the following:
- Drive a sports car
- Drive a pickup truck (unless you need one for utility, but this goes all guys no matter their height).
- TALK LOUD
- Pick fights, or be overly aggressive.
The last 2 are known as red squirrel syndrome, or little man syndrome. Not as bad as downs syndrome, but very close.
At this age, you should be catching onto the fact that everyone is different, height is only one thing to be insecure about. Own it, you are who you are. In fact, I joke about being short once in a while, this shows that I am aware of it and secure about it. Donāt over-do it though.
Plus most successful men are under 5ā-9"ā¦donāt we all remember?
Iād love to hear your take on the Beatles or Ray Charles.
Edit: To stay on topic for OP. Your height doesnāt matter to anyone that will matter to you. If a lady isnāt interested because youāre on the shorter side, well, some people are shallow.
Having preferences isnāt shallow.
God bless you for that reference. I hope that thread never dies.
All of the above comments are stories. I am looking for practical advice? Any guys on here my sort of height who know what Iām talking about? How do I get these negative and hurtful thoughts out of my mind?
See a therapist or a self help guru?
Fair enough, but nonetheless, some people are shallow.
Your height is your height. Itās not going to change. Stop obsessing over what can not be changed and focus on developing what you have control over. Confidence, physique, personality, knowledge, etcā¦
Iām pretty sure my post was FULL of practical advice. I was very specific.
You arenāt going to convince a girl who doesnāt like short guys to like you. So get that out of your head.
Youāre also wrong about most girls not willing to be with a guy your height. So get that out of your head too.
You said you have acne. clear that up. How do you dress? How do you style your hair? it sounds like the real point of this thread is āIām not having success with women, I think itās because of my height, how do I become successful?ā To help you in that regard, weād need more info. A picture would be nice to see what weāre dealing with. You might be ugly as fuck for all we know.
As to the ways you can improve your mental stateā¦ I shared some thoughts on that, I can share some more. Seeing a therapist is always an option. Not a bad way to deal with insecurity.
Iād also recommend going on a lot of dates. As many as you can. Practice makes perfect. You need to become very comfortable with meeting new people, and learn what works and what doesnāt to attract them. You also need to become comfortable with rejection. Even the most successful people in the dating world get rejected regularly. It happens, for ALL the reasons. You have to accept the fact that you wonāt be liked by everyone, and thatās ok.
I also think youāre using your height, which is out of your control, as an excuse for your lack of success. There are a bazillion variables within your control that can make you more successful. Why blame one of the few things that isnāt on your lack of success? Be fucking funnier. Study humor. Read up on current fashions, buy clothes that fit your body type well and look good on you. Get a woman to help you with this, or hire a stylist. Learn what restaurants/bars are great for dates. When youāre on a date, donāt just talk about yourself, ask questions. Let the woman talk about herself. Show interest in things she likes. Pay close attention and ask good questions so she knows she has your full attention.
All of this advice applies to short men, tall men, ALL men. Successful dating requires a lot of work and effort. It has very little to do with being 5ā7 vs 5ā10 (thatās what I am). Carbiduis is correct that most girls donāt want a guy who is shorter than them. But fortunately for you, 50%+ of women are shorter than 5ā7, so you have nothing to worry about there. Find a girl whoās 5ā1, lol. She wonāt be able to tell the difference between your height and 6ā0
This last part is super true!!
I am 5"0 and I do mistake most people for being tall until I am told otherwise . FOR SRS
Flipcollar,
Thank you for your long post. I think however that you are being overly simplistic! FYI I am an average looking guy, not ugly not stunning, like most people. I can upload a photo of my lovely mug if you so choose haha, but like you said about height not changing looks donāt either. Acne is minor minor, only notice when close up, and if someone would reject me because I have a few spots then there really is no hope!
You mention how I dress and other variables that I can control. What sort of impact would dressing more stylishly have on how women perceive me? I don;t want to look so stuffy and arrogant as to repel people, but I must confess I feel more confident and sexier actually in a suit haha
I think at 5"10 which is way above my own stature, it is easy for you to state what you think are simple reasons for my lack of romantic success, when in fact the height or rather lack of it, is the PRIMARY issue. I just want to own and embrace my body and my being but need some help from guys who have perhaps had a similar raw deal in relation to height/ looks etc.
I don;t wish to appear rude, but I would appreciate less glib comments about short women and myself as even girls 5 foot plus often say 5"10 or above haha!
thatās not accurate. You can change your looks SUBSTANTIALLY. I could show you a handful of pictures of me to demonstrate this.
Ok, so your comment on about preferring to be in a suit is already a red flag. Thatās not something most women are going to be looking for. Looking nice and stylish is a far cry from what Iām talking about. A nice t-shirt and well-fitting jeans with the right pair of shoes can be a very good look. Girls want guys who appear to be comfortable and confident. You wonāt look like either in a suit. You should NEVER wear a suit on a first date. Iāve never worn anything but jeans on a first date. Usually a t shirt, sometimes a button down shirt, untucked, if thatās appropriate for where Iām going.
I already told you I have friends who are your height and shorter than you who are better at getting girls than me. And they donāt even make good money. I promise you, youāre wrong about height holding you back. If youāre just stuck on this belief, then so be it, we canāt help you. But youāre dead wrong.
I wasnāt being glib. Spock agreed with me, and sheās a very attractive 5ā0 woman. MOST girls Iāve met over the years just want a guy whoās either their height, or taller. Women who need 5ā10 or taller are in the minority.
You know what they donāt find attractive? Guys with complexes about their height and/or appearance.
I do have an idea. You could post a picture of you dressed and styled for a typical first date. Like if you were going to meet a girl for drinks or a casual dinner or something. That would be something I could work with if you really want to get more advice on being approachable and likeable, appearance-wise.
Flipcollar,
Thank you and I appreciate that appearance (first impressions) can and probably do make a difference to how others perceive you. I just genuinely struggle, having had years of nasty remarks made about my lack of height, to actually believe that what you say is true? Iām sure you can appreciate that when you get a litany of abuse, overtime it does erode your self-confidence and your self-esteem. Iām not seeking sympathy from you, as Iām sure you also have had negative experiences in your life, but Iām simply trying to articulate how deep-rooted and real this is to me if you follow?
When I said a suit I didnāt mean a full suit. I meant expensive looking buttoned shirt, nice clean jeans so apologies for expressing myself so badly!
I would value your advice re@ fashion and styling, so if you like I can upload a picture? I think the vital thing I am missing is: genuine confidence and self-esteem. I hope your advice and advice from other parties assists me in getting this crap out of my head.
sure, I get that. All I can give you is the truth, and thatās what Iāve done. I know this is real in your eyes. And I know that through my countless conversations with women about this sort of thing, and seeing firsthand the girls my short friends date, that youāre wrong about this being the majority. I really think you donāt take rejection well, and that youāve come to the conclusion from your personal interactions that most women think in a way that they actually do not.
Iāve never heard āsuitā described as a shirt and jeans. But thank you for that explanationā¦ I guess I have 2 questions at this point. 1. What country do you live in? 2. Is English your first language? Iāve been assuming weāre talking about American culture, but Iām thinking maybe not now.
Hey,
I hope you are right, but I rely on EVIDENCE to DISPROVE my genuine belief so hereās hoping somebody changes that at some point! When you get constantly rejected it does eat away at your confidence and self-worth and if you cannot seem to figure out why else she rejected you, you inevitably fall back on your biggest insecurity: your lack of height. Itās a vicious cycle really. And to be fair who does take rejection well? I mean, getting rejected by say one woman out of ten is fine, but getting rejected by eight or nine out of ten, not so cool
I am UK based yes haha.
well youāre currently relying pretty heavily on anecdotes, not evidence. Youāre talking about your own, personal experiences to this point, at the young age of 24, rather than listening to people who have more experience in the dating world than you. Or the multitude of people in this thread who are expressing anecdotal experience that also differs from your own. There is definitely a pattern here that you are willfully choosing to ignore.
Nobody is going to present you with a study that says youāre wrong. You can either believe us or not. If you choose not to believe us, even though weāre ALL saying the same thing, then why even start the thread?
The fact that youāre so obviously extraordinarily insecure is so telling. Women sense insecurity, and your luck with women WILL NOT CHANGE unless YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. Thatās up to you bud. Best of luck.