T Nation

Dating Advice for a Short Man?


#1

Hi guys,

Instead of posting about TRT for a change I thought I would seek the wisdom of my fellow T Forum guys about something a little different: being successful with women as a short man (5"7 on a good day)! Basically, rightly or wrongly, I feel that society, especially women, view short men less favourably and seriously than taller men and over the years this has given my self-esteem and confidence a real battering!

I am am ambitious guy (Law graduate hoping to be a lawyer), charming, well-presented, keep fit and try not to think about my lack of height too much when going on dates and meeting women. Got mild acne and not particularly muscular or ripped, but wouldn;t stand out as being majorly fat or majorly thin! Unfortunately however, I have had MANY VERY NEGATIVE experiences with women in the past and attribute much of this to my real or perceived unattractiveness in relation to height.

Any guys on here with any advice on how (indeed if) I might go about ridding myself of what is unfairly labelled “short man syndrome”? It seems to me that, as with many things in life, it is one rule for one group of people, in this case tall men, and one rule for us shorties. I never used to obsess about my height and it has only come to the fore in recent years owing to my lack of relationship success with women. Any guys on here who are shorter than the average UK male (under 5"10) who have had similar experiences?

I have a lot to offer. I am funny, relatively intelligent, mentally strong and have been told by many women I have dated that my height and looks are not the reason they reject me. I however am extremely cynical about this, as if I was handsome and appealing then surely I would have a partner by now? People tell me it’s my attitude and that women and indeed other men can smell insecurity a mile off? At 24 I should be enjoying life, not feeling like I’ve been chucked onto the rubbish heap!

Would be interested to hear your thoughts. I hope there is a positive way of overcoming this prejudice and living my life unencumbered by nagging feelings of anger, frustration and sadness because of something that frankly seems to me rather inconsequential.


#2

If you make money, looks don’t matter. Look at Kevin Hart


#3

Haha lol! I was asking for serious advice about how to overcome the insecurity that often comes with being short?

Any guys on here who can offer me some serious tips or advice based on their own experiences?


#4

2"-3" less than average is fine, for height…


#5

Yes but what advice would you give me though as I am insecure about my height and many women have made clear that for them it’s an issue.


#6

Stop giving a shit. I’m younger and taller than you and have been in a relationship for 5 years so my physical flaws don’t really affect me. But you are who you are. You’re 24 yo and 5’7. Unless you start wearing heels, you won’t get taller.
Being insecure will turn more ladies off than being a little short than the average height in my opinion


#7

The same society that allowed low lifes like Kodak Black, 21 savage and other druggies to make millions talking about fucking and drugs? There’s a reason there’s a kakillion proverbs about fighting the inner battle and loving yourself.


#8

Date Asian women.

/thread


#9

Yeah I don’t see a problem here. Wear platforms and don’t start conversations with stuff like, “Carol-Anne, don’t go into the Light!”.


#10

Advice: 98.9% of women don’t give a fuck that you’re 2"-3" shorter than the average height in the UK.

They care more about your insecurity.


#11

I’m exactly your height. Been married, divorced, married again with women in between. First of all, dont obsess over it. It litterally is the ONE THING you had nothing whatsoever to do with. You play a role in your health, muscularity, hair color and length, clothing, education, etc but there aint a damn thing you can do about height! For Tall guys out there acting proud of their height is a joke, they had nothing do with it.

If a women is judging you based on height, then stay the hell away from her. Mostly women are attracted by attitude, the way you treat them, etc. Women know if a man genuinely likes women. Are you one of those? Do you treat all women with respect? Are you funny and charming? Are you comfortable in your own skin? Do you smile and laugh? Women relate to all these things.

It will definitely help you to increase your fitness and muscularity. These are confidence builders. If you’re just chasing tail, women can tell. Just be their friend first (but don’t get friendzoned to where they see you a “brother”) . Ask about them. Don’t talk about yourself. Make her laugh. Women love that.


#12

I know you asked for advice from guys. However, as a girl I’ve always been appealed by a guy who is confident in himself and treats you with respect and listens. Most girls are insecure about themselves so they want someone to make them feel “safe” that they can be a shoulder to lean on. If you’re questioning yourself and your appearance, it often makes a girl question hers. And being overconfident is the same because women tend to feel insecure. Yes, money is important to most girls. A lot of women want to be stay at home moms or party with your money or get sparklies. Honesty, I know this is tough but if you’re not satisfied with yourself it makes a relationship hard. I’m on my second marriage and feel there should be a law against marrying young…cuz remember if you get married you want to mean your vows for life. That’s a big step. Best of luck to you! FYI the soccer player Messi is 5’7.


#13

Get a small dog, so proportionally you look really big. Compared to a Pomeranian you’re probably a beast.


#14

Is that why so many strongmen have teeny dogs?


#15

I’m not a tall man. I’m about 5’8" - not means short, no means tall. I might be on the short end of average. Up until I finished growing I was always one of the shorter guys among my peers, including extracurricular activities and athletics.

Also, I always tended to fall into a leadership role whether in school, sports, activities or among my group of friends (I never really ran with on specific crew but was friends with various cliques … still am). Girls when I was a kid, women when I became an adult, were always attracted to me. Girls of varying heights - I’ve had a few relationships, short or long term, with girls/women my height or taller.

There were conversations between us and among friends, from both sides, about why they would date someone who isn’t taller/is shorter than them. A few had said that I seemed taller than I was.

I grew up short - shortest in all my elementary school pictures, front row left is where you’d find me. Some people would make fun of my height until I beat them in school; at sports; at other games - I never let them calling me short make me feel short.

Objectively, I’m not tall. Subjectively, I don’t care. Caring about that shit’ll hold you back from actually doing things. No one cares about your height - if they do, they care only to mask some of their own insecurities. Some girl won’t date you because you’re short? She’s worried too much about what other people think than her own romantic happiness and success (assuming y’all would be compatible otherwise).

Point is, don’t worry about things that you have no control over (your height). Worry more about what you can do - what you can control. What makes you interesting? What makes you worth them dating? If you think it’s your height then you don’t know women - you need to get outta your head.


#16

I love short guys . I would need a step stool to date a tall man .
Think Marty McFly he was a super lil cutie aww


#17

I think women can smell insecurity, so shed it now. You’ll find the right one(s).


#18

I don’t think this is helping the OP … lol … that’s down right emasculating - he’s not a fuckin’ toddler :slight_smile:


#19

Oh … Well i didn’t mean it that way . …
McFly is hardcore boyfriend material is all


#20

I’m short(5’6") and that has never been a problem for me. Women like confident men with money. You show confidence and make money and I promise you they won’t give a shit! By the way, when you are lying in bed you are eyeball to eyeball no matter how tall you are.