Dating a girl who betrayed me...

Off Topic
21

Your first mistake was listening to her when she told you that she just could not break up with her boyfriend by phone. You then, in reality, became “the other guy.” You may not have looked at it that way, but that is actually what you were as he was there first and she would not break up with him. Being “the other guy” gives you no rights at all! She in fact, was lying to her first boy friend by having a relationship with you-First Lie!

When she had sex with her first boyfriend she was again being dishonest, as she told you that she would not be doing that. Second Lie!

I commend her for telling you that she had sex with her first boyfriend (I assume you didn’t actually see it, or hear of it from anyone else). Unfortunately, she could not fess up to it like an adult and used the “alcohol excuse.”

Yes, I know that people do things when under the influence that they normally would not do. However, people sometimes become under the influence so that they are able to do things that they normally would not do. It’s called an excuse. I am not giving her the benefit of a doubt at this point-Third Lie!

If you stay with this girl I have some
questions for you: If she had a “night out with the girls” could you trust her to stay with the girls? The next time that she goes home could you trust her not to simply get drunk and find Mr. wonderful again? How long do you think it will be before you become the boyfriend that she cheats on?

If you get in deep with this chic you are in for a lifetime of heart ache. Dump her now and spare yourself!

22

She’s trash but she’s honest trash. You knew what you were getting into (and that someone else was getting in there, too EEK!). Sounds like a match made in heaven.

23

I honestly don’t think you’ll ever be able to fully trust her again. Everyone who has posted is right. Your relationship began with cheating and ultimately ended with it. Unless you think that she is “the one”…get as far away from her as you can.
The fact that she had sex with her bf/ex probably had NOTHING to do with being drunk. It was most likely intentional as a goodbye/last time deal. (this coming from another females perspective)
So yes…she IS in the wrong. She cheated on you in the physical sense AND the emotional sense by not ending things with that guy in the first place.
Seems she wanted to have her cake and eat it too.

In the future…NEVER get involved with someone who is involved with someone else. BECAUSE if that girl can cheat on another guy…what makes you think she won’t cheat on you?

There are plenty of other decent females out there. Go and get 'em!

24

It’s amazing how much shit a lot of you guys take, man. Although I’m happily married now, if that happened to me while I was single, I would’ve dropped her like a hot potato and went on to my next conquest. WTF? Why are you even contemplating this, dump her. Or just fuck her and go out with other chicks. Simple.

25

Judging from all the replies I would have to agree, especially with MD; you should have cleared everything up from the start about bf/gf ideals & views…
For her to string you along and keep the other guy “on the side”, “in the wings” is most uncool. I got with a girl a few months out of a breakup with her bf… the sex was great and mind-blowing but when she & I broke up it was because she still had feelings for the other guy… didn’t help she smoked or drank and I tried to get her into the clean lifestyle… still ranks as one of my worst experiences in heartbreak ever…

You can do better; it’s tough, but move on. It doens’t seem like it was meant to be and she is worse for the loss if she ever comes to realizing it.

26

She’s a cheap fucking slut. Fun in the short term, a waste in the long term.

27

In my fairly worthless opinion, it all comes down to one point: you have to stand up for yourself and have respect for yourself. If the situation bothers you, then by all means you need to walk away. It’s that simple.

On the other hand, people do make mistakes and sometimes they learn from them. If she shows interest in maintaining the relationship, then maybe she learned something. Maybe when you’re ready you’ll take her back. It’s her turn to make the effort, not yours.

Whatever you decide, do NOT go the route of debating whether or not she was wrong, how bad she was, whether you should get even, negotiating penalties. That just enables bad behavior in others, and in you. The most important thing is that you show some respect for yourself, even if it hurts the girl’s feelings. And stick with it.

28

im going almost the same experience as you are going thru, but im married with the girl. its easy to say forget about the girl but is not in our position. its easy to say leave her and go on with your lives when its not happening to them. i used to be one of them until it happen to me. i still love her but, im trying to get on with my life. so should you because eventially we will forget them and move on. i know my first wife i caught her in bed with some one else and i eventualy moved on. follow your heart thats what i always say. happiness come to those who wait.

29

Dude,

My heart goes out to you, I’ve been in a similar situation and even though your brain knows what’s right, you still have feelings for this girl.

But seriously, you need to walk away, let her go. Too much Drama. There are so many other quality women out there it’s not worth it to spend a ton of time frettin over this lady. She’s obviously confused, and allowing herself to play both sides of the fence. Just don’t let yourself get played any further.

If she’s decent in the sack, then there is always the FWB option but you can’t allow yourself to get emotionally invested in someone who still has a lot of strings to cut loose before she’s ready for something new.

Take care, good luck.

B.

30

why are you even asking? its obvious.

31

Hmm…I’m not sure why I’m posting on this thread. If I don’t have anything nice to say I should just keep my trap shut, but I’m feeling surly right now so I’ll add my $.02.

The way I see it you have a couple of different options:

  1. Slice your c&bs off and flush them down the toilet (you won’t be needing them any more if you take this option), then go back to your scank.

or

  1. Quit being so fucking lazy and find yourself a woman that won’t impale herself on the nearest erection the moment a drop of alcohol passes her lips (believe it or not women like this actually do exist).

Good luck.

32

Listen up. Back in my college days I wasted a good solid year and a half with a girl (literally) that I stole from a boyfriend back in her home town. It was easy to get caught up in the drama, and probably even exciting. Don’t waste your time. Drop her like the proverbial bad habit. She has issues you can’t fix. Find a girlfriend, not a project.

33

About a year ago I met a girl that had a fiance in another state. I started fucking her and spending a little time with her. She broke up with him for a few days because now she wanted me but he eventually cried and balled his eyes out until she took him back.
If this story has a point, it’s that I never vested anything emotionally in a girl that I knew was a tramp (for cheating on her fiance).
As far as “stealing” another guys girl. Women arent property that belongs to men. We only use them until we get tired or they get tired of it.
Continue to “steal” other guys girls but DONT EVER, EVER think they can be anything more to you than something temporary.
Don’t you guys have real men around you to tell you this stuff?
Why are young men such pussies these days?

34

Somebody needs to kick you in the balls to bring you back to reality if you are even thinking about going out with this girl again. You know the answer here, castrate yourself.

35

Move on

36

I say ho-tel mo-tel holiday inn
If that girl starts actin up
Then you take her friend

37

wide
that was a beautiful quote.lol

38

Haha, threads like this are hilarious.

And I wasn’t even gonna look at the updates until I saw Wideguy had posted, then I had to look!

39

First, just so you guy know, the way I found out that she cheated was this;

Her bf works in Ontario, and his family lives here in Alberta. So he came back to Alberta for xmas to see his family, and to see her. This is why she planned on waiting to xmas to break it off with him. Anyways, he was here for 3 weeks, and once he left I got together with her.
But when I was with her, she behaved strangely… She wouldn’t sleep with me, for like a week after. I hadn’t seen her for almost a month, so I was like a walking erection, and getting really fucking pissed she was holding out, for seemingly no reason.
Until it hit me; WTF is going on??? It was getting suspicious, so I talked to her about it, “Is there anything which happened over xmas or something I’ve done which makes you not want to be intimate with me??” And she admits it. She said she felt too guilty for doing it to be with me. She didn’t have to admit it, but her concience wouldn’t let her lie.
She was in tears. She said I should dump her because she’s a horrible person. She said she feels like a slut and is sorry it had to happen. She said I am the guy she wants to be with, but after everything doesn’t know if it can happen. She said ‘it’ would never happen again, now that her and fucker were broken up, she could ‘finally be with me, and be only with me.’
She wanted to stay with me, but I broke it off. We still talk, and see each other and we could still hook up if I wanted…

You know, I really thought that I had a very special girl…
She was a perfect match for me. We were for each other - emotionally, intellectually, sexually, pretty much everything. I was honestly infatuated, and still am. I fell hard for her - she just gets me.
I know that if we met now, for the first time we would hit it off, be together and have none of this fucking SH*T to deal with. That’s what makes it hurt; if only we had met later we’d be together.

But you guys do help put in in perspective; she has issues that I can’t help her deal with. She just doesn’t see sex as something special. Those issues prevented her from respecting me… And that is kinda unforgivable.

FUCK. I’m still not over her.

I’m seeing another girl right now and dating but it’s just not emotionally satifying. I’m feel like a fucking mess of rage and unresolved emotions. I think the gym is the only thing keeping me relatively sane…

40

You need to get you an ole fashioned grudge fuck on!