Your wife sounds like a classy lady and I’d love to chat with her about all the things. I’m guessing she’s early thirties or late twenties which seems like a period when women feel the most pressure to prove that their lives are taking off and their families are perfect, etc. Social media can often feel like a way to keep score and even become a keeping up with the Jones’s thing.
I’ve fantasized about deleting it all too, but have reservations: part practical and part completely vain.
For the practical part, I don’t want to completely disappear because my job does take place on the internet, and if there’s ever a time that I want to promote an article or potentially anything else that I do, having a social media presence will make a difference. I’ve heard this is true with publishers as well, and I keep that in mind for the future if I ever have the courage and discipline to write a book.
It’s a good critique. You know what’s crazy? I actually can’t delete facebook.
A couple years ago, I removed it from all my devices except my desktop computer. But then my desktop crashed and had to be wiped clean. So when I tried to log on again to finally delete it, Facebook required a photo of my driver’s license. They won’t let you delete your account unless you log onto it. And I don’t want to share my license with FB. That just seems like a bad idea for some reason. If you have any advice on what to do, I’m open to hearing it.
This could be a five hour conversation and I think you make a good point about male attention. But it seems like there are a lot of potential motivations, many of which come down to proving our worth, whether that’s in the form of beauty, talent, knowledge, virtue, athleticism, humor, etc. Other motives include just wanting to get customers and using social media as a way to expand business. Jess Franks is my favorite artist and she puts her work on the gram for instance.
Despite my rant above, I think there are some people who have great accounts on social media that are informative, funny, or business related. But I get tired of feeling peer-pressured to make it a bigger part of my life when it’s more destructive than life-giving.
Back to the male attention though. This is super tough if I’m being honest. It’s not that I need male attention per se, it’s that I know that with age, I’m going to look less and less attractive over time, so there’s a need to prove that I have value (it’s excruciating to put this into words, but it needs to be said) because of my appearance. And I know full well that my appearance isn’t anything special, but what little I have to show now won’t even last. We all know physical beauty is temporary. So maybe I’m hanging onto a form of proof that there have been times when I’ve been cute… even when I don’t feel like it anymore.
I don’t know if this is a universal experience for women or if it’s more prevalent among those steeped in the fitness world. But knowing that this personal mental weakness is a problem has kept me from spending much time on social this year.
Man, I didn’t think this was going to turn into a therapy session but I’m coming to terms with some stuff here! The “need” to prove myself as an attractive woman is a big yikes.
Here’s another thing though: I think positive attention from the opposite sex will always give people a bump in happiness; whether it’s in person or online. It’s actually one of the reasons Chris and I encourage each other to be a little flirty with the elderly. We love making their day. We love putting a pep in their step.
Haha well my intention wasn’t necessarily to shame but to vent mainly. The whole thing where people create drama because someone unfollowed them or the thing where people pass judgment on those who don’t have as many followers as they do… or the myriad of other vapid things people talk about regarding their social media… it all makes me want to barf.
Outside of marketing and growing a following for business, these are not usually good, deep, or productive conversations that adults should be having. It just reveals a mind that doesn’t go beyond high school-level thinking.