HA!
Your wife sounds like a classy lady and Iād love to chat with her about all the things. Iām guessing sheās early thirties or late twenties which seems like a period when women feel the most pressure to prove that their lives are taking off and their families are perfect, etc. Social media can often feel like a way to keep score and even become a keeping up with the Jonesās thing.
Iāve fantasized about deleting it all too, but have reservations: part practical and part completely vain.
For the practical part, I donāt want to completely disappear because my job does take place on the internet, and if thereās ever a time that I want to promote an article or potentially anything else that I do, having a social media presence will make a difference. Iāve heard this is true with publishers as well, and I keep that in mind for the future if I ever have the courage and discipline to write a book.
Itās a good critique. You know whatās crazy? I actually canāt delete facebook.
A couple years ago, I removed it from all my devices except my desktop computer. But then my desktop crashed and had to be wiped clean. So when I tried to log on again to finally delete it, Facebook required a photo of my driverās license. They wonāt let you delete your account unless you log onto it. And I donāt want to share my license with FB. That just seems like a bad idea for some reason. If you have any advice on what to do, Iām open to hearing it.
This could be a five hour conversation and I think you make a good point about male attention. But it seems like there are a lot of potential motivations, many of which come down to proving our worth, whether thatās in the form of beauty, talent, knowledge, virtue, athleticism, humor, etc. Other motives include just wanting to get customers and using social media as a way to expand business. Jess Franks is my favorite artist and she puts her work on the gram for instance.
Despite my rant above, I think there are some people who have great accounts on social media that are informative, funny, or business related. But I get tired of feeling peer-pressured to make it a bigger part of my life when itās more destructive than life-giving.
Back to the male attention though. This is super tough if Iām being honest. Itās not that I need male attention per se, itās that I know that with age, Iām going to look less and less attractive over time, so thereās a need to prove that I have value (itās excruciating to put this into words, but it needs to be said) because of my appearance. And I know full well that my appearance isnāt anything special, but what little I have to show now wonāt even last. We all know physical beauty is temporary. So maybe Iām hanging onto a form of proof that there have been times when Iāve been cuteā¦ even when I donāt feel like it anymore.
I donāt know if this is a universal experience for women or if itās more prevalent among those steeped in the fitness world. But knowing that this personal mental weakness is a problem has kept me from spending much time on social this year.
Man, I didnāt think this was going to turn into a therapy session but Iām coming to terms with some stuff here! The āneedā to prove myself as an attractive woman is a big yikes.
Hereās another thing though: I think positive attention from the opposite sex will always give people a bump in happiness; whether itās in person or online. Itās actually one of the reasons Chris and I encourage each other to be a little flirty with the elderly. We love making their day. We love putting a pep in their step.
Haha well my intention wasnāt necessarily to shame but to vent mainly. The whole thing where people create drama because someone unfollowed them or the thing where people pass judgment on those who donāt have as many followers as they doā¦ or the myriad of other vapid things people talk about regarding their social mediaā¦ it all makes me want to barf.
Outside of marketing and growing a following for business, these are not usually good, deep, or productive conversations that adults should be having. It just reveals a mind that doesnāt go beyond high school-level thinking.
