My three kids (7 and younger) all react poorly to failure. Losing a game? Not “getting it” when practicing/drilling an activity? Having a hard time with homework? These situations have often been leading them to melt-down lately. So my wife and I have been asking, what are we doing wrong that the kids don’t know a) how to fail and get back up, and b) that it’s not only OK, but totally NORMAL and NECESSARY, to attempt something out of reach ->fail ->adapt->overcome->succeed.
This seems like a good place to ask because the very nature of training with weight exemplifies this. I can’t lift the weight I want to lift. So I try anyway, and I know I’ll fail, and that failure makes my body grow, and eventually I will lift it. Not only is it OK to fail, it is GOOD to try things that you will fail at, so eventually you become capable.
I’m very good at a lot of things, and don’t typically dwell on my failures and rather, find the positives in my successes. Perhaps this has set a high bar for my kids that they think “Daddy never fails, I shouldn’t either”? So lately I’ve been letting them know EVERY TIME I “fail”: “Daddy tried to fix the sink, and IT LEAKED! Look what a mess I made! That’s OK, I’ll try again!” and things like that.
So was curious what some of the dads here do, if anything, intentional or not, to model failure/struggle/overcoming for their kids, and any advice?
I don’t know everyone here, but tagging a few dads I’m aware of like @dagill2 @T3hPwnisher @alex_uk @ChongLordUno @flappinit and feel free to tag anyone else with relevant experience. Also @Bagsy because while definitely not a dad, she is knowledgeable about parenting and child development for other reasons.