T Nation

Dads 'Good Times' w/ Daughter Cut by Court

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8497822/dads-good-times-with-daughter-cut-by-court

6 year old girl.
Mother and father have separated.
Girl stays with dad every weekend.
Girl tells mum “I hate you” and “I don’t love you”.
Mum goes to court saying that the father was getting all of the “good times” and none of the “drudgery”
Court cuts access between father and daughter

Could this be any more fucked up?!? A father who is willing to spend time with his daughter is punished by the courts.
I can’t see any animosity between the daughter and the mother developing here /end sarcasm

I hardly call spending the weekend with your kid parenting. Lol

If he was serious about it he’d have more time with her.

A weekend is a vacation for the kid probably filled with movies and cookies…

Mom has to force chores and bedtime?

That’s a bad decision by the court. Real bad

The mother gets her every other weekend. Oh the humanity.

I see nothing wrong with this at all. The report doesn’t mention whether or not the dad will get increased weekday custody.

Not enough information to make a decision. But men do generally get shafted by the courts in the US, maybe it’s the same over there. Why didn’t Dad get more weekday time? Or did he? Did dad not give chores/homework/etc? Why the hell is this being decided by the courts instead of by the parents?

[quote]Gambit_Lost wrote:
Why the hell is this being decided by the courts instead of by the parents? [/quote]

Because that is how divorce works?

I am fortunate that my son’s mother and I are able to settle stuff like this without the courts getting involved, but I think we are exceptions to the rule.

Bigger issue here is a woman using her child as a pawn against her ex. And referring to the day in, day out job of parenting as “drudgery” tells you a lot about her. Raising kids is work, it’s often not fun. But it’s what you do. My guess is she’s a spoiled controlling bitch and that’s why he left and she hasn’t changed her ways.

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
Bigger issue here is a woman using her child as a pawn against her ex. And referring to the day in, day out job of parenting as “drudgery” tells you a lot about her. Raising kids is work, it’s often not fun. But it’s what you do. My guess is she’s a spoiled controlling bitch and that’s why he left and she hasn’t changed her ways.

[/quote]

You’re reading things that aren’t there.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
Bigger issue here is a woman using her child as a pawn against her ex. And referring to the day in, day out job of parenting as “drudgery” tells you a lot about her. Raising kids is work, it’s often not fun. But it’s what you do. My guess is she’s a spoiled controlling bitch and that’s why he left and she hasn’t changed her ways.

[/quote]

You’re reading things that aren’t there.[/quote]

I agree, this may or may not be the case. I think I would see it as drudgery too if I had all of the work but when the weekends come the other parent has all the fun and is seen as the superhero. I am all for mens rights but this happens all the time. Sounds like she is just asking to share in both parts.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]lawsonsamuels wrote:
Bigger issue here is a woman using her child as a pawn against her ex. And referring to the day in, day out job of parenting as “drudgery” tells you a lot about her. Raising kids is work, it’s often not fun. But it’s what you do. My guess is she’s a spoiled controlling bitch and that’s why he left and she hasn’t changed her ways. [/quote]
You’re reading things that aren’t there.[/quote]
Agreed. As far as I understand it, in NY at least, a “standard” joint custody agreement means the non-custodial parent (the father in this article) gets every other weekend - friday evening to monday morning - and several hours one weeknight.

Not sure how they got into that original situation, but I can totally understand why the kid seems to be having nothing but fun every weekend during the schoolyear. The kid is 6 years old, of course they’re going to be cranky and grumpy during the week and want to just play all weekend.

That said, I personally know a woman here in NY who was brought back to court just a few months after the divorce was finalized because the father was unhappy that their young children would text their mother ‘goodnight’ during their every-other-weekend stays with him. The court ruled that the mother had to actively discourage the children from texting her.

Long story short: Courts are sometimes (often?) used by divorcees out of anger and they can end up making dumb decisions.

EDIT: On the flipside, sometimes courts actually do reinforce what should be common, reasonable sense.

If the dad is not doing his part in effective parenting, then yes something should be done. But is that the Courts job? I have personally seen to many instances where the mother used the kids to control the father. I get my kids every other weekend, but I also see them almost every day and have them at my house two to three nights out of five. The comment about “drudgery” is what hit a nerve with me.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
I see nothing wrong with this at all. The report doesn’t mention whether or not the dad will get increased weekday custody.[/quote]

It doesn’t specify one way or the other, but the title implys his over all parenting time was reduced, and it very likely was. If the judge had ordered the kid into the father’s custody during the week so the overprivlidged lazy bitch wouldn’t have to deal with the so called drudgery, the article would read alot different.

“Drudgery” was the judge’s word.

[quote]Chris Colucci wrote:
Not sure how they got into that original situation
[/quote]

I’d wager when they got divorced she wanted her weekends free from all that drudgery so she could party instead. It could be she worked the weekends, but I’m guessing a job is way too much drudgery as well.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Gambit_Lost wrote:
Why the hell is this being decided by the courts instead of by the parents? [/quote]

Because that is how divorce works?

I am fortunate that my son’s mother and I are able to settle stuff like this without the courts getting involved, but I think we are exceptions to the rule.[/quote]

Your question mark is kinda my point though. Not enough information. Maybe he’s being horrible or maybe she is…maybe they both are. “Maybe” a lot of things.

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Chris Colucci wrote:
Not sure how they got into that original situation
[/quote]

I’d wager when they got divorced she wanted her weekends free from all that drudgery so she could party instead. It could be she worked the weekends, but I’m guessing a job is way too much drudgery as well.[/quote]

I missed the part where it said the mother is a lazy party slut. Did you read a different article?

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Chris Colucci wrote:
Not sure how they got into that original situation
[/quote]

I’d wager when they got divorced she wanted her weekends free from all that drudgery so she could party instead. It could be she worked the weekends, but I’m guessing a job is way too much drudgery as well.[/quote]

I missed the part where it said the mother is a lazy party slut. Did you read a different article?[/quote]

I can read between the lines. This woman is complaining that parenting a six year old child during the week is all work and no play. She’s not having any fun. wah wah wah. You and I both know a court wouldn’t order a kid to spend all their weekends with one parent, and none with the other. The 2 of them would have had to agree to it. You’re welcome to draw your own conclusions, but you’d have to be pretty naive to believe that any parent who agrees to no weekend time isn’t looking to trade parent time for good times.

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Chris Colucci wrote:
Not sure how they got into that original situation
[/quote]

I’d wager when they got divorced she wanted her weekends free from all that drudgery so she could party instead. It could be she worked the weekends, but I’m guessing a job is way too much drudgery as well.[/quote]

I missed the part where it said the mother is a lazy party slut. Did you read a different article?[/quote]

I can read between the lines. This woman is complaining that parenting a six year old child during the week is all work and no play. She’s not having any fun. wah wah wah. You and I both know a court wouldn’t order a kid to spend all their weekends with one parent, and none with the other. The 2 of them would have had to agree to it. You’re welcome to draw your own conclusions, but you’d have to be pretty naive to believe that any parent who agrees to no weekend time isn’t looking to trade parent time for good times.[/quote]

That’s a very good point. No doubt you are reading that situation correctly. Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a breakup with her lover and now she is lonely on the weekends.

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

[quote]Chris Colucci wrote:
Not sure how they got into that original situation
[/quote]

I’d wager when they got divorced she wanted her weekends free from all that drudgery so she could party instead. It could be she worked the weekends, but I’m guessing a job is way too much drudgery as well.[/quote]

I missed the part where it said the mother is a lazy party slut. Did you read a different article?[/quote]

I can read between the lines. This woman is complaining that parenting a six year old child during the week is all work and no play. She’s not having any fun. wah wah wah. You and I both know a court wouldn’t order a kid to spend all their weekends with one parent, and none with the other. The 2 of them would have had to agree to it. You’re welcome to draw your own conclusions, but you’d have to be pretty naive to believe that any parent who agrees to no weekend time isn’t looking to trade parent time for good times.[/quote]

Cool story bro. Next time I need someone to read way further into a situation than any reasonable human being would think is possible, I know who to go to.

I knew a girl in the same situation. Had her kids during the week but not in the weekend. She loved it as her job was to look after the kids during the week and then when the weekend came around she was free to party. She would have a grand old time. Compared to him who had to work all week and then look after the kids during his only time off, the weekend.

Just depends on how you look at it, but if you’re a sour bitch, having the kids in the weekend won’t make them like you any more!