T Nation

Customer Not Always Right!


#1

http://notalwaysright.com/category/top

Those of you who daily deal with the public one-on-one will appreciate these gems.
Here's an example:

[i](I work in healthcare and am talking to a man in his fifties who is having angina for the first time.)

Me: "You haven't had a heart attack, but this pain is probably coming from your heart."

Man: "But I'm only 50-something and there are no heart problems in my family. Why would that be?"

Me: "You smoke 30 a day and drink 2 cartons beer a week. That's not good for your heart. You should think about cutting down."

Man: "I'm sick of you people telling me that bulls***! It's a scientifically proven fact that smoking makes your arteries smaller, and drinking makes them bigger! If I keep drinking AND smoking, I'll be fine!"

Me: "That's not at all how it works, but I see I'm not going to change your mind. You'll be going upstairs soon."

Man: "I want to go out for a smoke!"

Me: "That's really not a good idea..."

Man: "What would you know?!"

Me: gives up[/i]


#2

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

Those of you who daily deal with the public one-on-one will appreciate these gems.
Here’s an example:

[i](I work in healthcare and am talking to a man in his fifties who is having angina for the first time.)

Me: “You haven’t had a heart attack, but this pain is probably coming from your heart.”

Man: “But I’m only 50-something and there are no heart problems in my family. Why would that be?”

Me: “You smoke 30 a day and drink 2 cartons beer a week. That’s not good for your heart. You should think about cutting down.”

Man: “I’m sick of you people telling me that bulls***! It’s a scientifically proven fact that smoking makes your arteries smaller, and drinking makes them bigger! If I keep drinking AND smoking, I’ll be fine!”

Me: “That’s not at all how it works, but I see I’m not going to change your mind. You’ll be going upstairs soon.”

Man: “I want to go out for a smoke!”

Me: “That’s really not a good idea…”

Man: “What would you know?!”

Me: gives up[/i]

[/quote]

You have no idea how many conversations I have had with people just like that above in the 14 years I worked in an ER.


#3

You should go to the site and read the others. Amazing the degree of ignorance, stupidity, and ego-flexing that goes on!


#4

I once had a 21 year old male dying from cirrhosis of the liver from drinking a case of beer a day since he was like 16 years old. He refused to quit drinking and would come into the ER vomiting blood from his esophageal varices, which is what eventually killed him.

Sorry ID to depressing for me, to many bad memories.


#5

[quote]DJHT wrote:
I once had a 21 year old male dying from cirrhosis of the liver from drinking a case of beer a day since he was like 16 years old. He refused to quit drinking and would come into the ER vomiting blood from his esophageal varices, which is what eventually killed him.

Sorry ID to depressing for me, to many bad memories. [/quote]

Damn. I understand.

But a lot of the entries on that site are people calling tech support, waiter/waitress stories, and retail customer stories. Funny as hell!


#6

Okay I am checking it out then.


#7

One of my friends worked as IT guy for a health care center, so he would be assisting doctors, nurses, etc.
All his tales were just too funny.

He should submit them on that site.


#8

[quote]Customer: ?I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.?

Me: ?Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.?

Customer: ?Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!?

Me: ?Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you??

Customer: ?I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn?t for real men! Extra rare!?

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ?Black and Blue?. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer?s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: ?What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there??

Me: ?Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.?

Customer: ?Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don?t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold??

Me: ?Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.?

Customer: ?What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold
stuff!?

Me: ?I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.?

Customer: ?No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let?s go to that sushi place next door!?

[/quote]

This couldn’t happen, right???
That… that can’t be real.


#9

I think most of those are made up stories. Some are probably true/based off of true events but they are exaggerated for teh lulz


#10

^ welcome to denial, it isnt just a river in Egypt


#11

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]Customer: ?I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.?

Me: ?Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.?

Customer: ?Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!?

Me: ?Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you??

Customer: ?I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn?t for real men! Extra rare!?

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ?Black and Blue?. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer?s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: ?What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there??

Me: ?Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.?

Customer: ?Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don?t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold??

Me: ?Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.?

Customer: ?What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold
stuff!?

Me: ?I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.?

Customer: ?No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let?s go to that sushi place next door!?

[/quote]

This couldn’t happen, right???
That… that can’t be real.[/quote]

Oh, you’d be surprised.

When I was younger I worked in a cinema and I saw some things that made me lose hope in humanity. Who, in the world, can forget his little girl inside the cinema hall and just leave?


#12

[quote]Edevus wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]Customer: ?I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.?

Me: ?Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.?

Customer: ?Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!?

Me: ?Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you??

Customer: ?I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn?t for real men! Extra rare!?

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ?Black and Blue?. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer?s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: ?What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there??

Me: ?Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.?

Customer: ?Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don?t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold??

Me: ?Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.?

Customer: ?What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold
stuff!?

Me: ?I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.?

Customer: ?No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let?s go to that sushi place next door!?

[/quote]

This couldn’t happen, right???
That… that can’t be real.[/quote]

Oh, you’d be surprised.

When I was younger I worked in a cinema and I saw some things that made me lose hope in humanity. Who, in the world, can forget his little girl inside the cinema hall and just leave? [/quote]

Easy to do if you have a few kids.


#13

Customer: ?There are lots of different kinds of quilt fibres. Which kind is best??

Me: ?Well, generally natural fibres are best. Wool is particularly good. It?s warm in winter and cool in summer. Plus, wool is fire resistant.?

Customer: ?Well, now that I think about it, I?ve never seen a sheep on fire.?

Damn, that one made me laugh.


#14

I’ve had a couple good ones. In the summers when I’m not at work I sell pools (its seasonal work so it lines up with time I have available to work full time). Now, I have found out that nobody in the WORLD wants something for free more than old white people with money, if even the slightest thing goes wrong they will bitch and cry and ask for hundreds of dollars off their bills, etc.

So this one woman ordered a pool and it came in late by a week or two so we tossed in a free solar pool heater (a long piece of coiled black pipe that the water flows through and gets heated up by the sun essentially). So all was well and we hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks but then the weather became cloudy for about a week and a half and she called up yelling and screaming we ripped her off, the pool heater was broken etc. etc.

I tried telling her that it was because it was cloudy and she was just absolutely convinced this device with no moving parts was somehow broken. After listening to this pool induced bout of psychosis I just told her we’d send someone out to take a look at it if it wasn’t working on the next sunny day. Never heard from her again.

This wasn’t me but we also had a woman who was adamant that the water in her pool was ‘filled unevenly’. Turned out whoever she had install her pool didn’t level the liner so the pattern on it was uneven.


#15

The average person is an idiot.

The most you realize this is true, the less annoyed you get with stupidity.


#16

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]Customer: ?I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.?

Me: ?Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.?

Customer: ?Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!?

Me: ?Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you??

Customer: ?I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn?t for real men! Extra rare!?

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ?Black and Blue?. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer?s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: ?What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there??

Me: ?Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.?

Customer: ?Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don?t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold??

Me: ?Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.?

Customer: ?What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold
stuff!?

Me: ?I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.?

Customer: ?No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let?s go to that sushi place next door!?

[/quote]

This couldn’t happen, right???
That… that can’t be real.[/quote]

Technically sushi isn’t raw. Its cooked by freezing.


#17

The stupidity of people in health-care situations is truly astounding, there are more than a few reports of people exploding their own dumbasses trying to smoke with their oxygen on.


#18

That’s one of my favorite sites for the lulz. I think I found it 2 or 3 years ago. I found it especially funny back then when part of my work had me taking technical support type calls.

Another site I like for laughs is this one:
http://dontevenreply.com/


#19

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]Customer: ?I would like the 12 oz. New York Strip.?

Me: ?Excellent, sir. How would you like that prepared? There is a description of all of our options on your menu.?

Customer: ?Rare! And I mean extra rare! I want the cow to still be mooing on my plate!?

Me: ?Alright, sir. We can do that for you. Would you??

Customer: ?I need you to write extra rare! I want it dripping blood. That is how a real man eats steak! That burnt stuff isn?t for real men! Extra rare!?

(This continues for a few minutes, until I assure the customer that I will speak to the manager in order to be sure that his steak is extra rare. I put in an order for a ?Black and Blue?. This steak is more rare than the usual; the inside is cool and the outside seared. As promised, I tell the manager about the customer?s specific request. After I serve the food, I get flagged down by the customer.)

Customer: ?What is this? This is cold! How long has it been sitting there??

Me: ?Sir, I assure you I brought your dishes out as soon as they were finished.?

Customer: ?Then what is wrong with your cooks? They don?t bother cooking my food? Why is it cold??

Me: ?Sir, you ordered your steak to be extra rare. As it explains on the menu, this means that the internal temperature of the steak will be cool.?

Customer: ?What is wrong with you people? Who wants a cold steak? I never said I wanted a cold steak! I saw extra rare! That means the middle part is pink and hot! Who can eat this raw cold
stuff!?

Me: ?I apologize for the misunderstanding, sir. I can alert the management and have them make another steak for you.?

Customer: ?No! I am not eating anywhere that sells food raw! This is disgusting. You people should be reported! Come on honey, let?s go to that sushi place next door!?

[/quote]

This couldn’t happen, right???
That… that can’t be real.[/quote]

Technically sushi isn’t raw. Its cooked by freezing.
[/quote]

Actually, sushi is rice. It can have cooked or uncooked meat in it.

And good sashimi is not cooked or frozen.


#20

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
leave me the fuck alone jumanji!
[/quote]

It’s now 5 minutes after reading this, just stopped laughing…