T Nation

Cultural Issues


#1

last May i met the most beatiful girl of my life and we were going out for about month and a half when suddenly she just disappear( didn?t want to talk to me, didn?t answer phone calls etc?) well what happen that I discover like 3 months later was that she was pregnant from the boyfriend she had before( she doesn?t has any relation with him anymore). When I told her that I knew what happen to her and that it didn?t matter because I really love her, she change with me and we start going out again and everything is great between us that we even are living together.
Well what i hate is that my family( we live in central America) knows that the child she is waiting isn?t mine and they say that I?m stupid if I got involve with her?.. well I don?t see this problems in American culture, I would like to hear your opinions
THANKS


#2

I think your family like most in America care about you and don't want you to get hurt or have to deal with the problems associated with being with a woman who has a child with another man. IE more responsibilty on you Her dumb Ass Ex causing trouble etc.

I am sorry for your heart ache and know how it feels just remember that when you love a woman with another man's child it's a package deal. And as long as you truly know your heart and thought this through and aren't acting on some misguided notion of being valiant by standing by her hopefully everything will work it's self out.

As for your family while I am sure in some cultures this situation may be considered shameful or embarassing whatever. I still beleive that ultimately there would be some type of resistance by most families if only for the notion of protecting you.

I geuss the real and only question is are you ready for the responsibilties and possible negative consequences of this relationship if so don't worry about what anyone else thinks and do what you think is best.

Good Luck to you.


#3

Well dude, you are in a predicament, that is for sure.

However, Americans do indeed have these issues, and it's not uncommon for the family's to be uptight or against the union of two people when the lady is pregnant with another Man's seed, or even when the lady already has a kid from some other guy.

My knee jerk response is that you should do what makes you happy. If you're cool with her having a baby from another guy and you look forward to your future together then go ahead. It's a pretty heavy undertaking though, raising a kid that isn't yours.

My parents were both widows, and my mom already had my older brother from her previous marriage. My dad took him (my older brother) in as his own son then went on to have two more kids (My little brother and I). There was a lot of static though, in the early stages of their union. My older brothers' "real" grandparents threatened to get custody of him if my dad didn't convert to being a Lutheran and joining their church, etc.

But, things in the long run worked out pretty well. We're all a really tight family even though we were forged out of untraditional circumstances.

Hope that provides some insight.

GAINER