T Nation

Cubicle Warriors


This is for those of us who have a job that entails sitting in a small square of solitude.

Who else brings a cooler to work with their food?

What do you do to save your back/posture since we’re sitting all goddam day long?

Do you feel like your the only one who stays in the office at lunch time too?

Do your farts sometimes make you have to vacate the premisis?

What else about being a cubicle warrior would you like to share?

My cube is 10’ x 16’ so I got it good.

I’m too lazy to bring in food most of the time, but some people look like they’re planning in a siege from what they bring in. I have a decent cafeteria and a coffee truck that comes around for lunch.

I move around a lot, so I’m in and out of the cube all day. We all got new ergonomic chairs recently.

I stay in for lunch most of the time, surf eBay, answer personal emails. Lots of people do the same thing.

I don’t dare fart where I am. Before we moved last year, I was in a fart-friendly zone. We just let them rip. Now I have to go outside, which is ok since we have 2 buildings and I do that a lot. I do like to fart between the inner and outer sets of doors though. Especially when the vestibule heaters are cranked.

But I can’t complain. I post things on the walls inside, rude cartoons on the outside and no one says a word. I make my own hours, as long as the time adds up to 40 hours, all is well.

I’ve got an office and a refrigerator/microwave down the hall. I go out to lunch for fun maybe twice a month, on average. I usually fill my purse with pre-made meals, veggies, fruit, supps, and baggies of protein. I need a bigger purse!

I get made fun of constantly for my weird food and affection for stinky vegetables.

My chair is an ancient POS, so I just try to concentrate on sitting right.

I like it alright, nice view, privacy, and it’s better than the closet I used to have before they finished remodeling our suite.

Ahh gotta love the cube farms sitting in my cube right now, already off to a productive start haha.

I don’t bring a cooler but, I do bring a bag full of food, I usually get questioned/made fun of b/c I heat up my POW meal around 9:00am which is in a couple of minutes. People are shocked that you can eat beef, chicken, rice, sweet potatoes this early little do they know I have been up since 4:30am.

I don’t do to much for posture with our ergonomic chairs although i really should focus on that.

I keep a couple bins of protein powder under my cube desk and always spill some on the floor when i am transfering it to my water bottle. Needless to say their is always choclate powder on the floor of my cube haha.

I eat lunch at my cube because i feel guilty as it is, eating 4 meals at work and constantly getting up for food or water (then again people get limitless smoke breaks it seems right?). I fart at my cube i really dont care i try to keep it muffled haha no one has ever said anything really (with regard to a pungent smell eminanting from my cube). I don’t leave my cube after i fart because of the smell come on, everyone likes the smell of their own brand.

Whenever I heat up food people always say, “How do you always eat so healthy” or while they are heating up their chinese or pizza “I have to start eating better what should I eat?”. I get asked about my massive bottle of fish oil as well.

People will ask me the most off the wall nutrional questions, one of the managers walked over to my cube one day and asked if the stalk of a lettuce leaf (with the stalk in hand) had more nutrional value than the leaf if so what? He also asked yesterday if his steaks were a good source of protein?

LMFAO at office people! I hate this place though!!!

No cooler. There’s a fridge and microwave down a few cube rows. Sometimes I think people confuse it with the garbage can, as there’s stuff that’s over a month old in there. If it’s old and gets in the way of my bag, it gets tossed.

Our chairs are terrible, so I do what I can to sit up straight or just wiggle around a bit. I also stretch out when heating stuff up in the microwave.

Nah, other people stay in too. Of course their eat-in choices aren’t that great. What’s funny is how some people absolutely NEED other people to order from the same place as them. Some mornings it’s like they’re planning a deep sea expedition, gathering up volunteers. Pick up the stupid phone and order yourself something for cryin’ out loud. You’re allowed to do it.

I just farted in my cube. It was pretty nice. Heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness.

Nothing really. It’s a job and it pays the bills.

Great, some jackass just set of the door alarm again. I’m listening to the lovely sound of beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

how do you guys refrain from killing yourselves?

lol damn I serisouly wanna try out an office job and see what it’s like. I love the movies where the people who work in cubicles are miserable…like office space, fuck that shit is hilarious.

I work electrical, residential. So I’m outside a lot in a framed out wiring it, and sometimes we move so much and go up and down the goddamn ladder so many times it’s nice to have a seat. Although we can blast music however loud we want/listen to whatever we want, sing whenever we want, be as loud as we fuckin want whenever we want, smash wood for fun, throw things at eachother here n there.

It can be fun, but definately not for everyone. I think this is why construction guys are more rude then others bceause we are isolated all day and can do whatever the fuck we want while working lol.

I have an office with a door that locks… and a webcam but that’s besides the point.

I stretch and do isometrics during the day and no one gives a crap.

I’m getting a new, bigger office with a drafting table so I can work standing up sometimes. I’m a roofing estimator so I spend a lot of time bent over measuring blue prints and it’s killed my back. I can’t wait to do it standing up. Plus I’m getting a new bigger computer with a bigger webcam. ha.

I always bring my own lunch. In over 5 years here, I think I’ve eaten out twice. People tease me because I eat the same thing every day. However, it’s good natured. My employer is a body builder so none of my food habits come close to his.

About a year ago I stopped bringing in my hard plastic cooler (it got too small) and bought a black backpack that IS a cooler. It’s about the size of a Northface bag but has a slot to put an icepack and keeps everything really cold all day long. Even outside in the summer heat (tested at a strongman event).

I think recently I spend about 55% of my day on this site, and 20% on other sites and 25% working/studying. Slow shit recently here…

I think these chairs are made to hold in farts. I only smell ones if I’m moving a lot. Then I go for “a walk about”

I get all sorts of looks, questions and whatnot. Between my meals I eat, order of protien and supplements, my belt order and the day my chains came in. People must think I am a crazy person. I think I should be bigger.

Some old guys were talking about steroids the other day, so wrong…i just listened while my chicken heated up and laughed when i walked away.

[quote]rasturai wrote:
lol damn I serisouly wanna try out an office job and see what it’s like. I love the movies where the people who work in cubicles are miserable…like office space, fuck that shit is hilarious.

I work electrical, residential. So I’m outside a lot in a framed out wiring it, and sometimes we move so much and go up and down the goddamn ladder so many times it’s nice to have a seat. Although we can blast music however loud we want/listen to whatever we want, sing whenever we want, be as loud as we fuckin want whenever we want, smash wood for fun, throw things at eachother here n there.

It can be fun, but definately not for everyone. I think this is why construction guys are more rude then others bceause we are isolated all day and can do whatever the fuck we want while working lol.[/quote]

Before cube life I worked as a mechanic at a car dealership and it was just like what you describe with your job. It was definitely a culture shock when I came to Cubetown. Some days it’s nice, especially if you’re doing physical labor on your days off. Days like today, where I came in 2 hours early, kind of suck.

[quote]rasturai wrote:
lol damn I serisouly wanna try out an office job and see what it’s like. I love the movies where the people who work in cubicles are miserable…like office space, fuck that shit is hilarious.

[/quote]

yesterday when i went for a walk at lunchtime i saw an epson printer/fax/copier in the middle of the field that had been brutally beaten.

it made me and my cousin laugh wicked hard.

Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…
“Classic”

Anyone else work with that guy who has the glory day high school story for every situation…?

[quote]rasturai wrote:
lol damn I serisouly wanna try out an office job and see what it’s like. I love the movies where the people who work in cubicles are miserable…like office space, fuck that shit is hilarious.[/quote]

No you don’t.

It’s not like the movies.

In the movies there is something cool, wild, funny happening. And there is typically at least 1 person that is super hott. Not the case here; at least as far as women go…I’m pretty cute. :wink:

I went to a work dinner a month ago and looked at the 6 guys at my table. From right to left they went from oldest to youngest as well as pay grade (i’m assuming). I saw that and thought “I have to be in my 60s to be making good money here?”

Yuck.

That and there is a big push for everyone to be LEED accredited and have their PE here…no thank you.

I bring a canvas bag and put the perishables in the minifridge.

http://www.workrave.org/welcome/

Also, 20 minutes of mobility work and stretching every day (at home), plus whatever stretching I feel like doing in my cube.

I had the company foot the bill for an erognomic keyboard tray, which keeps my hands slightly above hip level… this has helped my shoulders somewhat, but not enough to reverse what I call “mousing arm syndrome”.

A few others stay and eat wildly unhealthy microwave dinners.

Unfortunately, I don’t fart that much. I do, however, blow fish burps into nearby cubes.

My building has half-cubes, so I can talk to coworkers without leaving my area. On the other hand, since my back is to the kitchen area, it makes browsing T-Nation a bit dicey.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
This is for those of us who have a job that entails sitting in a small square of solitude.

Who else brings a cooler to work with their food?
[/quote]

I have a permanent cooler about 10’ from my ‘cube’.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
What do you do to save your back/posture since we’re sitting all goddam day long?
[/quote]

I sit in a rocking chair with a lumbar support. I walk around the ‘office’ all day. Sometimes I’ll mow the lawn, tend the garden, or shovel snow depending on the season.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
Do you feel like your the only one who stays in the office at lunch time too?
[/quote]

I’m the only one here!

[quote]B rocK wrote:
Do your farts sometimes make you have to vacate the premisis?
[/quote]

I’ve had to undock the laptop and ‘roam’ the office on occasion. Thankfully the wireless network allows for continued productivity in the face of olfactory adversity. Although, in the warmer months, I can migrate to the deck.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
What else about being a cubicle warrior would you like to share?
[/quote]

Work from home. No bullshit, fridge is seconds away in one direction, the bed is in the other.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
This is for those of us who have a job that entails sitting in a small square of solitude.

Who else brings a cooler to work with their food?[/quote]
Pretty much the biggest cooler with a shoulder strap they make. It is my man-purse. 3-4 meals in there, plus it has accumulated a bunch of random stuff in the front pocket.

Stretch a bit at work, lots of hip mobility work in the gym.

[quote]
Do you feel like your the only one who stays in the office at lunch time too?[/quote] I go lift during lunch. Best part of the day!

Daily.

Everyone in my half of the building is now used to my eating schedule, so if they don’t smell food from the microwave at 10, 1, and 4, they come ask me where the food is. Also, everyone now realizes that I will not be going out to lunch, unless it is with a client, so they just stopped bugging me about it.

Remember Office Space? Work is getting to be like that. I was able to score a red Swingline stapler that I ordered through my supply order.

Now I have to take a co-workers printer that jams and beat it with a golf club in the parking lot & I would be almost complete.

My answers to your questions re: cubicle warriorism:

Who else brings a cooler to work with their food? - I bring a lunch carry bag and try to get my lunch in cause work is hectic sometimes so you eat when you can - you can only eat so much catered meeting food until you realize it’s always the same crap in different configurations

What do you do to save your back/posture since we’re sitting all goddam day long? - Try to stand up frequently - I keep the broom nearby to do shoulder dislocations & stretches along with some thoracic stretching - next week I’m going to include stair running & box jumps (I have an office with lots of tables) When I stretch people walking by think I am having a cramp of some kind

Do you feel like your the only one who stays in the office at lunch time too? - probably - go upstairs to the pseudo lunchroom & it looks almost like highschool or in prison; the cliques or variosu depts STAY with their own kind lol (legal with legal, finance with finance, sales trying to suck up to everyone. etc) Not to mention I pretty much am a loner so I try to avoid other people in general

Do your farts sometimes make you have to vacate the premises? Not so much vacate but smirk/hold my poker face as people that approach my desk are sucked in by the vortex of fumes that emanate from my seat while I maintain this tainted air of innocence while they are taken down in the gaseous invisible clouds LOL

What else about being a cubicle warrior would you like to share? My office is a separate area from where I pack and receive goods so having it to myself basically is the one thing that keeps me from going apeshit caused by boredom/anger/sadness (insert work-related emotion here)

Seriously, lifting is catharsis/therapy for the cubicle warrior

I don’t understand why everyone thinks Office Space was a good movie, I found it retarded.

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I have an office with a door that locks… and a webcam but that’s besides the point.

I’m a roofing estimator so I spend a lot of time bent over . . .[/quote]

That was all I got out of that post

I’ve spent three semesters as a co-op, but I shared an office with my two mentors. I lived at home, and Mom got me a lunchbox, then a bigger one, then a bigger one. I take up a lot of space in the local fridge. Lots of flak for veggies and meat. The one guy in there was 30, 135 lbs lean, and liked to workout doing dumbbell curls and machines. Ate a single tv dinner and maybe a candy bar every day. We got into it sometimes about squats and training and eating more food.

I had a satellite cubicle in another part of the building, but I swore to myself to never use it, and succeeded to never turn on the computer inside it. When I’m in those things, I feel like I’m in a jail cell. Really dreading graduation and getting a legit job; always have my eyes open for alternative lifestyles.

Does any one else feel like that? Like we just aren’t meant to be sitting behind desks looking at screens for over 8 hrs a day? I wanna be free. Just gotta figure out how to make it happen.