T Nation

Crimes Suprisingly Not Obsolete...


#1

...Well into the 21st Century.

1: Bank Robberies...Seriously? The way that's conducted

is basically the same fuckin' way it was done over a Century ago,
and even EASIER today with unarmed robbers just simply slipping
a note to the fuckin' Teller.

Karado's solution...an executive order to have all Banks Drive Thru only,
with super sharp Tire shredders built in the Pavement, raised above ground if any crap
is pulled, and Machine Gun Turrets on the Ceilings outside with 'Smiley Face'
signs saying, "We love our customers, but if you even think about taking our
cash, You are toast, have a nice day!"
Alternate solution, a cashless society, see below.

2: Counterfeiting...On the verge of the new 100 Dollar Bill

coming out, even with all this mind blowing, fantastic technology
all over the fuckin' place, it blows my mind we still can't find a fuckin'
solution to a problem that's older than the fuckin Bible days...are they
kidding me? What happened to the LAST 100 Dollar bill that was supposed
solved that problem? What do we have, 'TARDS working at the treasury??

Karado's solution...a CASHLESS society, where we get paid in "credits"
with no one having access to funds unless verified thru DNA and/or Iris Scans.
everyone has DNA, and everyone has at least one eye, and if you don't,
you're useless to society anyway and should be euthanized painlessly.

3 Identity Theft: Ok, this one here is obviously a biggie that

the feds should have solved especially after 9-11, but it's still
a huge issue that I'm sure should be figured out somehow closing
access 'loopholes', this an Ancient Problem that's older
than the fuckin Pyramids, and the fact we haven't gotten our shit together on that one,
as a rover collects dirt samples on Mars clearly exposes our technological
priorities are way out of whack.
Karado's solution...see above previous solution, come on Government, get your
shit together to REDUCE crimes older than your Great Great Grandmothers,
it's the 21st fuckin' Century already!


#2

You're a dumbass. You realize that a bank is not just a walk in atm, that other things happen in which you are required to meet with people, go over options and sign papers right?


#3

A Bank IS a fuckin' ATM for those who have the balls to simply
walk in with a note demand money.. Shit, elderly people do it sometimes.


#4

Seriously?


#5

No, only young people rob banks easily...what was I thinking?


#6


.


#7

I feel like this is a 6 year old's way of thinking about things.

Little Timmy how would you stop bank robberies?

"well I would have super sharp tire shredders and machine guns and rocket laser rifles pointed at the entrance and if someone tries to rob them bam you hit them with the rocket laser rifle!"

I like you K, but c'mon man who's paying for all this?


#8

Here's REAL crime...


#9

I question why #2 is illegal to begin with. Money that means nothing is produced by our government, so shouldn't counterfeiting be looked at as a public service instead of as a crime?


#10

And How many Trillions of Dollars have we spent fighting wars 'H'?
Who's ''paying'' for that? Security is super cheap by comparison, but all ''Wars'' are expensive....Drug Wars, Crime Wars, etc.,
you know, the Wars YOU are paying for too, what do you think of that?


#11

Exactly. Those "counterfeiters" are actually valuable public servants! They are creating more money to provide for our wars, welfare, and worries.


#12

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#13

As much as I hate that I came back to this thread I have to correct you. Our government doesnt print or produce money, that is a Federal Reserve, which is actually a private company with shareholders that pays dividends and never has to have an audit.


#14

That's true, our government has entrusted it with that responsibility.


#15

If you are responding to me, then I would like to ask you, what other conclusion am I supposed to draw from our country's monetary policy? Why does it matter if it's the fed or a private citizen who creates paper with dollar markings?


#16

I don't think he was responding to you, Nick. I think that "wow" was just his general sentiment regarding this latest example of Mustardation.

For what it's worth, I agree. There is no qualitative difference between a criminal syndicate or enemy power printing lots of phony currency with the express purpose of lowering the value of the money and thereby destroying the United States economy, and what the Federal Reserve is doing. The motives may differ (or perhaps not!), but the effect is the same.


#17

Only in America can we build a multi-quadrillion dollar snooping facility in Utah,
while old men can still successfully rob a bank with a note....somehow that shit doesn't make sense.
Oh Well, thank goodness for the FDIC....Legalize Weed, good job Colorado and Washington.
we're on our way to nationwide legalization....Alcohol sucks, Alcohol is deadly,
and it's impossible to overdose on Weed.