So I dreamed last night that a pair of gorgeous women showed up at my door, wanting to get my opinion on blowjobs for the 2010 census(they looked remarkably similar to Diamond Foxx and Jesse Jane). Later on in the dream, after the girls had done there pornstar gig on my johnson, a wild boar came into my house and I killed it with a chainsaw.
Later still, a polar bear came in. He grabbed a fire poker and stabbed my brother in the chest with it. I grabbed a shotgun, with seemingly limitless ammunition, and unloaded on it for what seemed 10 minutes. It walked towards me all slow like Frankenstein. I remember saying to myself, “Why didn’t you think of a Remington 700? Everyone knows shotguns are sub par for dangerous game!” After I shot it in the face a few dozen times, it keeled over.
I made sure to tell my brother to grab the camera, as I posed with the boar for a photo for Facebook. I thought about skinning the polar bear and saving the skull and keeping the meat. I declined a photo with the polar bear, as I knew it was illegal to kill them, and that would be proof I had slayed the beast.