T Nation

Crazy Dream

So I dreamed last night that a pair of gorgeous women showed up at my door, wanting to get my opinion on blowjobs for the 2010 census(they looked remarkably similar to Diamond Foxx and Jesse Jane). Later on in the dream, after the girls had done there pornstar gig on my johnson, a wild boar came into my house and I killed it with a chainsaw.

Later still, a polar bear came in. He grabbed a fire poker and stabbed my brother in the chest with it. I grabbed a shotgun, with seemingly limitless ammunition, and unloaded on it for what seemed 10 minutes. It walked towards me all slow like Frankenstein. I remember saying to myself, “Why didn’t you think of a Remington 700? Everyone knows shotguns are sub par for dangerous game!” After I shot it in the face a few dozen times, it keeled over.

I made sure to tell my brother to grab the camera, as I posed with the boar for a photo for Facebook. I thought about skinning the polar bear and saving the skull and keeping the meat. I declined a photo with the polar bear, as I knew it was illegal to kill them, and that would be proof I had slayed the beast.

The End

That’s one of the best dreams I’ve ever heard of. Tell me, what exactly had you done the previous day?

My dreams generally relate to things that I’ve been thinking fairly hard about during the day.

Though I have to say, my dream where I led an attack party of thundercats (which ended in me throwing a nuclear bomb at a bomber plane) was pretty awesome.

In analysis of your dream, it is obvious that you watch too much porn and that you are secretly gay (nttawwt).

Btw, I’m most impressed by your brother getting stabbed in the chest by a polar bear and calmly taking pictures of you with your kill.


I once had an interesting dream…

It was the zombie apocalypse and it was just me and my friend in a world that REALLY resembled the future in Terminator (the first one).

I showed him a picture of a girl, one who I don’t know and told him we needed to find and save her. I could feel emotion for her in my dream, like I loved her.

We’re waiting on a rooftop, looking down on the street, filled with the living dead. We decide to make a break for it, run through the building and exit out the back which seemed less crowded with rot.

We get into the building only to find an army of the dead rampaging through the building, we ended up splitting up. He went one way and I went another.

We knew where to meet up, we just needed to make it there by any means necessary.

After making it through the building I made it to the bottom and heard my friends horrified shouts… I quickly pursued the awful screams.

He was cornered by a group of zombies and out of ammo, after obliterating a few heads we were safe.

After taken a breather we spun out of the back door into the night…

only to be confronted by the girl in the picture, her eyes white and a face filled with bite marks with most of her lower jaw missing.

I felt my dream heart break and shot her in the head.

I woke up. Damn, I hate that dream.

I had a dream that Andreas Munzer crawled out of the grave, took on the stage name “Therizza”, and returned to the Olympia… whereby he won by default due to the other competitors fear and disgust of stepping on stage with a smelly zombie.

That dream is awesome on so many levels…

My craziest was a couple years ago. I was just walking down the hall at my high school, outside of the computer lab, when I came across a guy on the football team who I was friendly with and we got talking, when all of a sudden he stabbed me in the chest with a giant icicle that he pulled off of the ceiling, which I had failed to notice was frozen. Next thing I know I’m rushing to the hospital in an ambulance with an icicle in my chest, so I decide to call my girlfriend at the time to tell her what’s going on.

So I call her, and thirteen seconds (exactly) into the call she tells me she’s busy and hangs up on me. At this point I’m at the hospital wheeling into the lobby on a bed, except the lobby looks like the lobby at a ritzy hotel rather than a hospital. So I’m lying there thinking about how bad all this sucks, when my vision suddenly shifts to a monkey hanging by its tail on a chandelier, dressed in camo with a sniper rifle.

Suddenly my perspective switches to the monkey, which proceeds to shoot me in the bed, killing me. As the monkey, I then flew off into the night.

Dream sucked until the monkey came in. Then it was awesome.

Had a doozie the other morning. I was fishing and I was swimming with my fishing pole just a little off the shoreline. There were supposedly big dangerous fish there. I was using live bait, and the fish I was using for bait were a foot long themselves. So I get a bite and I’m looking down into the deep and see a very large green thing going back and forth, I let the line bail open and swin to shore where I reel the beast in.

It’s a pretty large fish, looks kinda like a lionfish, only all green. It’s about the size of a small car, so There is this little hut with all these old fisherman types hanging out in it and I ask them what it is and whatnot. Then they all say they don’t know anything about fish which is weird since they are all hanging out in a fisherman hut. They direct me to a guy who is out in the water a little ways in this weird boat with a crane on it.

So I swim ove and ask him about my catch. He tells me about it and asks if I want to see something cool. I say sure and he uses his crane to peel off what I can only describe as an exoskeleton from the fish and out from the goey inside he digs out a small half poodle half chiwawa type dog thing. It’s very angry and snapping and barking at me, but not the other guy. it’s also got red glowing eyes and he now has it on his lap.

Then I woke up.


OP … I applaud your taste in pornstars

that is all