T Nation

Crazy College/Prof Stories

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#1

A compenssation proffessor docked a student a letter grade for the course because of an incident with a stolen pen.

The student needed a pen and borrowed one from an assistant prof…

Kid didn’t return pen

Nothing happens for a couple weeks

Prof announces to class that his pen is missing and that if it is returned there would be no fear of anything negative

Just roll it under the door of my office and everything will be ok

Kid goes to office after hours and slides a pack of pens with a sticky note on it apologizing for leaving the lecture hall with profs pen

Halfway through sliding the pack under the door something snatches the pack and the door flies open

Prof has been sitting by the door eating and waiting for the pens return

And that’s when it happened

Young man. You have done a very bad thing and need to learn a lesson…

The student appealed the grade obviously and got it overturned…

Plz share crazy prof stories

#2

I had a phylosophy prof that would not look at the class ever.

He would pace back and forth, left and right in front of the room. All while looking at the floor and dragging his inboard hand across the white board marker tray.

Hard to learn about Nietzsche and Siddhartha with all that going on.

#3

I took a college course in COMP SCI 10 years ago…

One of my prof’s who sorta taught hardware. Was a drag queen in pre-op. So she want to be taken seriously in class. But young college kids were like wtf. Also the fact that she was a database teacher and not good with hardware sucked even more. I ended up teaching the class what they needed to know. Even taught the teacher. She was good about it but damn the poor kids coming from small towns were like WTF!!! I that class got me on the deans list, LOL. And a job working for the school. Good jump start to my career.

#4

I have been grading final exams for my E&M class for the last few days and came across a gem. The final exam for this class (a junior/senior level class) was a paper, 30 page minimum and all equations and calculations used must also have a mathematical proof. The objective for her paper was to describe a standard model Lorentz transformation and how it can be applied to an electromagnetic field with charged particles. Her knowledge of the theory was okay (about a C level understanding), but for her math, she just wrote down a bunch of equations without showing how she derived them and did not provide a single mathematical proof. I was nice and called her into my office and told her that she needed to show her work and provide proofs of her math for full credit. I gave her until today to turn the rest in. She hands her paper in and, to her credit she did a halfway decent job of showing how she got certain equations but for most she just wrote “Proof: I just see it in my head.” Not only did I fail her, but I am going through proofs of all her equations right now and for every wrong one, which is most of them, I write a comment that is along the lines of “In the future, you should have your head checked for errors.”

#5

I was in my first semester of art school when one of our design professors (Mr Durand) entered the lunch room and sat with a few of us guys who were eating.

The conversation of course led to females, and Mr Durand, a married man trying to impress us youngsters, started recalling a pool party he had attended the previous summer. He described how after much drinking and partying, everyone ended up in the pool… some nude.

He was an older guy, but he told us he ended up fondling a college-age girl in the pool, and was quite explicit with the details of how busy his hand was in her crotch, and her subsequent excited reaction. We were all a bit in disbelief because Mr Durand certainly wasn’t what you’d expect to be in such a situation.

A few days later I was telling some friends in the hall about Mr Durand’s pool adventure. The story slowly got around and it looked like he was a sort of ladies-man-hero to us all.
Then the following week he pulled me outside of class and told me his wife had been at the campus to meet him for lunch… and she overheard SOMEONE describing his watery escapade… and that she was going to divorce him! I was stunned! I was a gossip, and it ended up ruining the guy’s marriage.

I apologized for my big mouth, but he admitted it was his fault for engaging in the activity, then bragging about it to a bunch of kids.

I still got an A in his class.

#6

A buddy of mine in the Chemistry department a few years ago had the genius idea that he would have sex with one of his undergrad students, which is really not all that hard even for ugly professors to do. He would tell all kinds of great stories about the crazy things they did and where at the university they had sex. Well, she, being young and naive, fell in “love” with the guy and he broke it off. She went nuts and keyed his car, trashed his office and contacted his wife and the school. He lost his job, his wife, and wound up having to take out a restraining order against the girl, but he is still a hero, and acts as a warning, to his friends.

#7

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:
I have been grading final exams for my E&M class for the last few days and came across a gem. The final exam for this class (a junior/senior level class) was a paper, 30 page minimum and all equations and calculations used must also have a mathematical proof. The objective for her paper was to describe a standard model Lorentz transformation and how it can be applied to an electromagnetic field with charged particles. Her knowledge of the theory was okay (about a C level understanding), but for her math, she just wrote down a bunch of equations without showing how she derived them and did not provide a single mathematical proof. I was nice and called her into my office and told her that she needed to show her work and provide proofs of her math for full credit. I gave her until today to turn the rest in. She hands her paper in and, to her credit she did a halfway decent job of showing how she got certain equations but for most she just wrote “Proof: I just see it in my head.” Not only did I fail her, but I am going through proofs of all her equations right now and for every wrong one, which is most of them, I write a comment that is along the lines of “In the future, you should have your head checked for errors.” [/quote]

How long have you been a professor?

#8

[quote]NAUn wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:
I have been grading final exams for my E&M class for the last few days and came across a gem. The final exam for this class (a junior/senior level class) was a paper, 30 page minimum and all equations and calculations used must also have a mathematical proof. The objective for her paper was to describe a standard model Lorentz transformation and how it can be applied to an electromagnetic field with charged particles. Her knowledge of the theory was okay (about a C level understanding), but for her math, she just wrote down a bunch of equations without showing how she derived them and did not provide a single mathematical proof. I was nice and called her into my office and told her that she needed to show her work and provide proofs of her math for full credit. I gave her until today to turn the rest in. She hands her paper in and, to her credit she did a halfway decent job of showing how she got certain equations but for most she just wrote “Proof: I just see it in my head.” Not only did I fail her, but I am going through proofs of all her equations right now and for every wrong one, which is most of them, I write a comment that is along the lines of “In the future, you should have your head checked for errors.” [/quote]

How long have you been a professor?[/quote]

About 15 years now, give or take.

EDIT: Just worked back to the year I started and it will be 13 years this fall.

#9

Another good story: Last fall, my fiance asked me to help some of her graduate students with their math skills so I did. During one of our tutoring sessions, one of the female students came on to me. I informed her that I had a girlfriend and she said that did not matter to her. I mentioned that my girlfriend was her faculty adviser and she turned pale and begged me not to tell on her. I did, though, and things got VERY awkward for that young woman.

#10

Not really crazy, but one of my college profs had to be the worst teacher there was. You didn’t learn jack squat in his class. This wasn’t so bad for the entry level classes, but when taking exercise physiology, I wish I had a different teacher.

#11

Hah, I had this one teacher… he was so bad that I knew not to trust him on this

It was snowing and classes were cancelled up until noon

His class starts at 10:30 - so it’s officially cancelled. So I do the logical thing and drive thru about an hour of ice in order to arrive very late - 15 mins left. Open the door, lo and behold… bout 3/4 of the class is taking the test

It wasn’t just me!!!

None of us trusted him - lol. I’ll never forget that one