I’m 26 years old. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety in the past. Done 3 cycles. 2x 500mg per week test E - both cycle no pct - last cycle was about 1 yr ago 14 weeks ago test E 500mg + deca 400mg - ran noldadex for about 4-6 weeks after - forget the doseage. Honesty felt really good for like 6-8 months afterwards still getting good pumps etc. Ever since though had huge brain fog, dead libido and massive depression. Recently Ran 5000 iu of HCG and a low dose of Masteron (100mg per week) over the course of 3 weeks and felt glimpses of feeling normal again with good wellbeing.
Decided to then try out clomid. 25mg EOD, accidentally had 50mg for the first dose. And today woken up feeling completely numb and near suicidal, like I cannot feel feelings at all. Please spare me the criticism as I’m not in a good place mentally. I’ve also had depression and anxiety on top of this happening and unsure what is going on. I’m going into see the doctor on Monday and tell him everything that I’ve done. I’m not hopeful though as in Australia doctors don’t have much sympathy and definitely not putting hopeful about an endo helping.
Therefore going to ask for my labs and hope someone can point me in the right direction. Stopping everything as of now. I’m thinking nolvadex may be where I end up next,but I will check labs first. Any advice in the mean time would be appreciated. I’ve also stacked on a lot of weight and stubborn fat over the past 2 months - huge love handles, and look grossly soft. I know. I’m a dickhead, but when things get this bad and suicidal thoughts are about the last thing I need are negative comments. Thanks.
Update: Out of sheer desperation for what seemed like a hormonal nightmare. I took a shot of 80mg test cyp - 3-4 hours later my mood and sense of wellbeing literally shot right up and my numbness and dread dissapeard!!! This would be great news…however, test makes me sleep apnea much worse. Yet it’s all that seems to help my depression. Going to get labs done in a few days and report back. Am thinking a course of nolvadex should help reboot. Although I am an idiot, and make poor decisions - so am kindly asking for whatever advice is out there.