T Nation

Crapping in Public Restrooms

I’ve been contemplating this for a long time. A few months now.

Firstly:

Do you hover or build a nest?

If you are a hoverer then you, without a doubt encounter this problem. I’m speaking of a proper squat.

I have noticed that the particular toilet I use at work is rather high. Notice that if a toilet bowl is higher from the ground then your femur length then a proper squat is nearly impossible. A proper squat is important because if you sit too high you get shit on the sides of your ass crack. Increasing the amount of wipes from 2-3 to 6-8!

If you are a nest builder then you might be able to lift your feet off the ground but it’s more of a workout then hovering. It’s even less comfortable.

It’s a pretty big dilemma. Anyone have a technique that they can recommend?

[quote]meangenes wrote:
Anyone have a technique that they can recommend?[/quote]

sit down and shit

I’d say that getting enough fiber (psyllium) is much more important to the overall experience than any actual positioning during the act.

I’m a short dude, but never encountered such a toilet as you describe. Maybe it’s because I despise public restrooms, and only use them in a near emergency. And, if it IS an emergency, I don’t really care about how tall the bowl is as long as it flushes properly… and there’s a roll of TP on the rack.

What’s a nest builder?


Get one of these, you might get some strange glances from your coworkers but you’ll have a sanitary ass everytime!

[quote]robo1 wrote:
meangenes wrote:
Anyone have a technique that they can recommend?

sit down and shit[/quote]

LOL. If it’s causing you this much distress be easy on yourself and just shit in your pants.

D

[quote]chillain wrote:
I’d say that getting enough fiber (psyllium) is much more important to the overall experience than any actual positioning during the act.

[/quote]

This is the truth. Psyllium is probably the best invention since toilet paper or Fabreeze

Slight hijack here but I once went to the toilet at a car park where I was preparing to head out for a walk in the winter. Snow & ice everywhere and very cold.

As I was going to have to use crampons as we got higher I was wearing a pair of fully stiff boots. Also gaiters to help stop the snow from going down my socks.

Anyhow I realised after getting kitted up that I needed to shit so of I went and discovered a rather manky looking toilet. I was going to attempt a hover and was doing ok until I realised the difficulties in ‘hovering’ whilst wearing boots designed to lock your ankles in place and restrict general moevement of the foot.

Instead of hovering, I nearly drowned.

Think Renton in Trainspotting. The most vile lavatory in existence, and he didn’t think twice. He simply went to it.

Edit: Speak of the devil!

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Think Renton in Trainspotting. The most vile lavatory in existence, and he didn’t think twice. He simply went to it.

Edit: Speak of the devil![/quote]

Lol - It was actually a very similar experience although I didn’t have heroin up my ass and I had to break the ice in the toilet before I fell in.

Still, toilet was about the same.

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Think Renton in Trainspotting. The most vile lavatory in existence, and he didn’t think twice. He simply went to it.

Edit: Speak of the devil![/quote]

Because of his avi, I have always imagined him as Ewan McGregor in that movie.

D

why the adversion to pooping in public

I go where I have to go
hell I have craped in allies behind my open car door and behind dumpsters before

man up and drop the load and get out

I build a nest. After wiping the seat down. And washing my hands.

Does that make me weird?

[quote]Makavali wrote:
I build a nest. After wiping the seat down. And washing my hands.

Does that make me weird?[/quote]

One of the kids who lived on my hall freshman year used to wet toilet paper in the sink and wipe the bowl with it. Over, and over, and over again.

It was pretty hilarious.

He was a good guy, though, so you’re in solid company.

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I’m a short dude, but never encountered such a toilet as you describe. Maybe it’s because I despise public restrooms, and only use them in a near emergency. And, if it IS an emergency, I don’t really care about how tall the bowl is as long as it flushes properly… and there’s a roll of TP on the rack.

What’s a nest builder? [/quote]

Putting toilet paper over the seat in a nest-like fashion.

[quote]nichaaron wrote:
why the adversion to pooping in public

I go where I have to go
hell I have craped in allies behind my open car door and behind dumpsters before

man up and drop the load and get out
[/quote]

Yeah but that’s acceptable for guys like you, lol (your avatar, not a racial slur)

I take a wide stance.

I wish I had a public restroom to use…

I get a nice blue Port-a-John with homosexual, racist graffiti reading material sprawled on the inside, Solar heated to 100°+ warm seats with blue sanitary goodness, insect and Yellow Jacket nests in the ventilation, noxious fumes from days of not-emptied due to the Landscapers truck always having to park in front of them, and (my favorite), “presents” left on the seat and floor to show how much they care about us…

Yet I’m not complaining when I should be…

What’s your excuse?

[quote]nichaaron wrote:
why the adversion to pooping in public

I go where I have to go
hell I have craped in allies behind my open car door and behind dumpsters before

man up and drop the load and get out
[/quote]

I totally agree.
When in a society we see a bunch of grown men acting like pussies I believe it’s a very very bad omen. Definitely too much xenoestrogens in our surroundings…

[quote]rainjack wrote:
chillain wrote:
I’d say that getting enough fiber (psyllium) is much more important to the overall experience than any actual positioning during the act.

This is the truth. Psyllium is probably the best invention since toilet paper or Fabreeze
[/quote]

Hold up…let us take a moment and reflect on the power of Febreze.

…aaaaahhhhh.